Mama Rock

Wednesday night was date night with my girls. We attended AWANA while Fiddledaddy spent a little bonding time with the boy. Much to Jensen’s delight. When Jensen was born, I thought I’d finally have a child that worships the linoleum I walk on.

I was mistaken.

As far as Jensen is concerned, the sun rises and sets on Daddy. As though he senses the balance of testosterone and estrogen in the house is askew. Even the death of Katie the Cat left the house still hormonally unbalanced. And with the onset of pre-menopause, well, the testosterone carriers in the house cling together. Afraid for their very lives.

By the time we girls pulled into the driveway, Fiddledaddy had put Jensen blissfully to bed. One down. Two to go. Just as we were preparing to enter the front door, we noticed a number of frogs on our front porch. Everything from small green ones to large fat bulbous amphibians. A plague, as it were. As Fiddledaddy opened the door, the commotion began, in domino effect. Emme shrieked, catching a small frog attached to the door. And thusly flinging it to the middle child. Who screamed. Then a large well fed toad attempted to hop into the house. Fiddledaddy scooted him out with his foot. At this point, Emme thought it would be sporting to stomp on this hapless frog. While wearing her crocs. The frog began hopping for his life, heading right for the middle sister and the mother, as she continued stomping. Have I mentioned the mother is deathly afraid of frogs? For no apparent reason. From all the shrieking and screaming, the neighbors must have locked their doors and pulled down their collective shades in an effort to avoid the home invasion robbery that was surely occurring next door.

Somehow the frog escaped certain death from squishing, and we made it in the door. Breathless.

But not without waking the sleeping baby brother.

Since the majority of the noise came from me, I felt obligated to go to him to comfort him back to sleep. When I entered his room, the crying ceased, and he looked up at me with tired red eyes. “Mama rock,” he stated. “Mama rock,” I agreed. We settled into the old faithful rocking chair. My baby boy laid his sweet head on my shoulder. After a few moments, he looked up at me and whispered, “Mama home?” “Mama home,” I reported. He smiled and sighed contentedly, “Mama home,” and he lay his head back on my shoulder. His breathing matching my own.

And for that sweet moment, he was a mama’s boy.

Chi Baby

wfmwheader2.jpgLast week, I discussed at length my hair woes. And I asked you all for help. I asked, and you answered. In a nutshell, I was stuck in a rut, only using Suave Shampoo and Conditioner. My dry dull frizzy hair looked liked a small family of rats lived in it. Styling involved a flat iron, which sort of worked for about 5 minutes, then I would usually resort to a pony tail.

Bad hair days were my norm.

But no more. Most of you recommended that I jettison the Suave. Which I did. Threw it away. And it wasn’t even empty. Which is highly out of character for me. I was once so cheap thrifty that I bought two cans of shaving gel that smelled like vomit. I endured that smell until those cans were completely empty. Took nearly 6 weeks.

The shampoo and conditioner that I settled on was one that was recommended by you all, Sun Silk for Blondes. I thought long and hard about the Revlon, but the sticker shock was too great. And I’m sure I’ll be trying out some other brands that were suggested as well. I also used Infusium leave in spray on conditioner.

But here’s the hair miracle. I bit the bullet and bought a Chi straightening iron. Several of you really raved about that one. Even Brittani, who I know is as200.jpg thrifty as I am. I’m not going to lie. I spent nearly $135.00 for this thing at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. With my coupon. BUT IT’S WORTH IT. I straightened my hair, and didn’t have to do one other thing until I washed it 3 days later. Not even a pony tail. Merry Christmas to me!

I wish I had checked the price of the Chi at Drugstore.com (link on my left sidebar). They have the turbo style Chi (which was $175.00 at BB&Beyond) for only $112.00. And the shipping is free. There are some other models there as well.

hair-good.jpg

This is my before and after. And it really only takes me about 5 minutes to straighten my hair.

With all that extra time on my hands I might just start exercising.

Just kidding.

With my hair looking so great, no one will even notice if I’m puffy. Anyhoo.

So, thanks to all of you who came to my aid last week, that’s my Works For Me Wednesday tip. For other helpful hints and suggestions head over to Rocks In My Dryer.

October 17, 2007

Depend On Me

The dinner conversation took a wrong turn toward body functions. It usually does if we all sit there long enough. A lively banter involving poop ensued. I’ve spent years fighting this phenomenon. Trying to instill a little decency and class into the evening meal. To no avail.

Makes you want to join us for dinner, doesn’t it?

The topic came to rest while discussing Jensen’s diapers. Suffice it say that he’s a healthy specimen of boy. I’ll spare you the gory details.

Emme piped up with, “Well. When I have a baby, I’m going to have the Servant changed his diapers.”

I chuckle under my breath. Servant indeed. As if.  I look up to find her gazing at me.

“Forget it missy. Not me. After I get Jensen housebroken, I’m retiring the old changing table. In fact, I’m never changing another diaper as long as I live. End of story.”

She shrugs her small shoulders and continues eating.

What remains unstated is that I fully plan on living with each one of my children when I’m long past coherent and continent. And then we’ll see who changes who’s diapers.

Circle of life and all that rot.

Revenge is a dish served piping hot. :0

October 15, 2007

Scratching My Head

And not because of my hair woes. Which I will update you all on this week. Let’s just say, my hair woes, are now, hair wows! That’s all I’m sayin’.

I’ve been chosen as Homeschooler of the Week by Amy and Christine from The Heart of the Matter. The first thing out of my mouth as I looked behind me, “What? Me? Are you sure?” I told my SIL later in the day that I was certainly glad they weren’t a fly on my homeschool wall this week. To say I’ve been feeling a tad inadequate as a homeschooling mom, is, well, inadequate.

And I’ve talked to enough of you homeschooling moms to know that, praise God, I’m not alone. Anyhoo. Head over to The Heart of the Matter to read my interview. Which I may or may not have given after 12 cups of coffee.

October 14, 2007

Saturday Stirrings: Death By Chocolate Cake

If you’re on a diet, avert your eyes from this one. This is a recipe that I dust off once a year, around the holidays, just to remind everyone in the family just why Fiddledaddy married me.

Oh sure, I’m sometimes easy on the eyes.  When I don’t have a pimple looming in the middle of my eyebrow.  Or when my hair doesn’t go postal.  Or when I’m not in the middle of a full blown hormonal meltdown.  Anyhoo.  And I can be plenty charming, especially after a glass of Port (the kind you unscrew). But those aren’t the reasons.

It’s The Cake. I made this creation during the Thanksgiving holiday for his family shortly after Fiddledaddy and I moved here to Florida. It solidified my rightful place in the family. The Cake gets talked about all year, and some time around our first cold front, I start getting inquiries. “So, are you going to make The Cake?” “It sure has been a long time since you made The Cake.” “We’d love to see you, but bring The Cake.”

After gaining 130 pounds with 3 pregnancies (all right, this was combined pregnancy weight), I decided to attempt to make The Cake using Splenda. The difference was noticed immediately. And I was chastised. This year there have been rumblings, “You’re going to use REAL sugar this year, aren’t you?”

Indeed I am.

People, the holiday season is just around the corner, and if you’re looking for a cake recipe that will ensure you a high popularity status, this is the one. And, shhhhhh, it’s really easy. But, no one else needs to know that.

Death By Chocolate Cake

It is imperative that you do everything in the order given. If not, I can’t be responsible for the results.

Mix in Large Bowl:
2 Cups Sifted Flour
2 Cups Sugar

Put in Sauce Pan & Bring to Boil:
1 Cup Margarine (2 Sticks)
4 T. Cocoa
1 Cup Water
Pour over Flour & Sugar & Stir
Then Add:
1 t. Vanilla
1/2 Cup Buttermilk
1 t. Baking Soda (Mix in Buttermilk)
2 Eggs

Bake @ 350 for 30 minutes in 13 x 9 pan

Frosting:
Put in Sauce Pan & Bring to Boil:
1 Stick Margarine
4 T. Cocoa
5 T. Milk
Remove From Heat & Add:
1 t. Vanilla
3/4 Box Powder Sugar
1 Cup Chopped Nuts

Pour over warm sheet cake (in pan)

Serve it from the pan. If I’m feeling spunky, and a little whitetrashy, I add sprinkles on top. Serve this warm with a little vanilla ice cream and you’ll get extra credit.

October 13, 2007

Gone Today, Hair Tomorrow

You guys so stepped up to the styling plate when I asked for hair help! I’ve taken copious notes, and am going hair product shopping this weekend. I’ll post “after” photos, when my camera makes another guest appearance in my home. If I gather up enough courage, I’ll take a “before” picture as well. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions. Including the one about moving to a dryer climate and shaving my head. And you know who you are. Jules. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Well, today I’m loafing around, writing over at the Homeschool Blog Awards site. A change of scenery is always nice. I’ll be back tomorrow with a tasty recipe for Saturday Stirrings.

Have a wonderful weekend, y’all!

October 12, 2007

Off The Top Of My Head

Y’alls comments about yesterdays post regarding the ill effects of heat and humidity on my hair have caused me to break down and just ask for help. And what with the state of the world and all, asking for help for my hair seems rather silly. But lets face it, I am shallow and one dimensional. That’s no secret.

Yesterday, Terri wrote “I did not know that people outside of Texas had hair with its own zip code. You do have some Texas roots, though, right?!?!?” Oh yes ma’am, I have roots all right. Nice dark ones. And yes, they hail from Texas. The land of big hair. I fought the battle of the hair back when I lived there. But, I was young, and a perky ponytail was usually the answer to my issues. When I moved to California, my hair worries were over. I had a good hair day most every day. And I became quite spoiled.

I moved to Florida 9 long years ago, and haven’t had a good hair day since. I left a hair stylist that I adored (shout out to Michelle), and weather that was the perfect consistency for my hair type. And here in Armpit, Florida, there is no stylist that I trust. So, I’m left to my own devices.

Yes, blogging world, I do my own hair. I color it, highlight it, and trim it. Okay, I get a little help with the trimming. Just the parts that I can’t reach. It’s a blunt cut, and hard to screw up. But give me time.

June wrote also, “I’ve had big hair for 40 plus years and when my teenage son with the ENORMOUS hair started using a straightener, I thought, why not try it? First time in my life I’ve EVER had straight hair and I’m LOVING it!”

JUNE! What is this magical straightener that you speak of? Spill your guts. I use a Conair flat iron, and it works for awhile. Sort of. Until I walk outside. I even use a large curling iron to give my hair a little “That Girl” flip. To no avail.

Okay girls, here’s what I’m dealing with. My hair is a blunt cut, not quite shoulder length, with bangs. It’s dry dry dry. I only need to wash it every 2-3 days. Three pregnancies gave it a weird little flip here and there, which is just accentuated by layering. Layering is dead to me. The children resulting from those pregnancies have caused it to go gray. Therefore, I dye it using Loreal Couleur Experte 8.2 (which actually works really well). I use Suave shampoo and conditioner. I KNOW! But, at least it’s the “professional” line. Which costs a whole $1.34 a bottle. I don’t have the time, money, or energy to seek professional help. For my hair at least.

So, I’m turning to you all. No pressure.

I know I need new products. Suave can only do so much. I would post a picture but my camera is out of town. Long story.

And I’m not a hat kind of girl.

And I’m getting just too old for the pony tail.

help!

So there you have it. Perhaps next week I’ll tackle something deep and enlightening. But I doubt it.

October 11, 2007

Good News

I heard on the news that we are expecting a REALLY BIG cold front by Friday. I stopped dead in my tracks, wiped the sweat from my upper lip, and hung on the weather meteorologist’s every single syllable.

Here in Florida, the seasons range from Hot to Africa Hot. Something I hadn’t taken into full consideration before agreeing to move here. Hot + Fiddledeedee = a lot of whining and complaining. Something Fiddledaddy didn’t take into full consideration before transplanting me to Florida. And as luck would have it, we’ve had a lot of outdoor activities lately. Involving physical activity. I’m a virtual joy to live with.

And with a change in temperature, comes a drop in humidity. Which is good news for my hair. The Rosanne Rosannadanna style I’m sporting is so, you know, 80’s. And while giving me the appearance of being taller than I actually am, having hair with it’s own zip code is a burden. What with the upkeep and maintenance.

The weather forecaster goes on to say that our temperatures, which have been hovering in the high 90’s of late, will only reach the mid 80’s. Which in Florida, my friends, is indeed a cold front. Hand me a sweater.

My feet will no longer stick to the asphalt when I trot out to fetch my mail.

I will not need to auction off body parts on e-bay to pay the electric bill.

I will no longer subject the general public to my sleeveless stylings.

This is all good news.

But best of all, come Friday morning, which I’ve heard I will wake up to temperatures in the high 50’s or low 60’s, depending upon which channel I’m viewing, I will be conducting the annual “underwear dance” on my back porch.

The children really look forward to this ritual every year.

The neighbors have been spared, with the installation of a 6 foot privacy fence.

Which is really the best news for everyone concerned.

October 10, 2007