When you camp with a boy…

We spent the last week camping at Fort Wilderness in Disney World.  Which is just like being out in the middle of nowhere, except for the running water, piped in electricity, hot showers which are far cleaner than mine at home, heated swimming hole pool, jacuzzi, cocktail bar, and golf carts.

I have friends who when camping, hike 10 miles with nothing but a back pack and a shovel.  To me, that follows a homicide.  Not a vacation.

But whatever.

Since my daughters are now off-limits (unless I pay them), the boy child is my only source of blog fodder.  And camping with a nearly 9 year old boy provides endless material.  And shaves a good 10 years off of my life.

We camped with one of my dearest girlfriends, her mom, and her 3 children.  One of her boys is Jensen’s age and a trusted buddy.  As you might imagine, Jensen enlisted him in the stalking and capture of ALL THINGS NATURE.  God bless him, he was a good sport.


Jensen turned the camp grill into a habitat.  Which I’m certain made his captured guests more than a little nervous.  “LOOK MOM, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN.”  Yes, in one last silent scream.


Every so often, he would put his new lizard friend on display.


One of the wonderful aspects of camping at Fort Wilderness, is that the loop we frequent is small and we can pretty much keep track of the children as they circle on bikes or scooters.  Or in Jensen’s case, we can hear him.  Thankfully, because the comfort station was closed in our loop, there were very few tent campers.  So there were less neighbors to offend.

At one point I could not see or hear Jensen, causing me slight concern.  I walked down to the end of our “driveway” to see this:


When I asked him why he was playing dead in the road, he lifted up his head to tell me he was pretending he was road kill, so that a vulture might happen upon him and he could then capture it.


I am not sure what he thought he would use as a habitat, but I’m certain it would have involved my nice neat tent.

We kept a vigilant ear out for cars and golf carts and such.

No vultures were fooled, however.

The capper to the week occurred at the pool.  We had been expecting very cold rainy weather, and were given one blessed reprieve in the form of a gorgeous Tuesday with temperatures reaching into the 70’s.  So we spent much of the day at the pool.

I would conduct occasional visual scans for all of my children and I saw my son standing at the opposite side of the pool with a large snake around his neck.  I jumped out of my chair and had to make the decision whether to run in the opposite direction, or to tackle him to the ground.  Instead I was frozen in place.  The snake was moving around so from my vantage point, IT WAS REAL.  But I wondered why the lifeguard was looking over at him laughing.  WHAT KIND OF DISNEY LIFEGUARD ARE YOU?  Then Jensen lifted the snake off of his neck and threw it into the water.  To its owner.  It was the most realistic looking fake snake I’ve ever seen.  Ever.  It was then that I was thankful that my girlfriend thoughtfully provided the Margarita mix and styrofoam cups.

We had a wonderfully amazing time.  And I did have a box of  Loreal waiting for me at home to hide all the newly acquired grey hair.

There are more camping stories to come.  Of that you can be certain.  Have a wonderful weekend everyone!


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