Every once in a while I audibly exclaim that I want the earth to open up and swallow me whole. It’s happened at the library (twice) when Jensen rendered himself naked, and as you might imagine, it has happened at Wal Mart because that’s the place wherein my children are ALWAYS on their best behavior.
But now I’ve changed my mind. I no longer, under any circumstance, wish for the earth to open wide and take me down. Because, my friends, it can happen. Over the weekend I was haunted by a news story about a man IN FLORIDA who climbed into the sanctity of his own bed, and a sink hole appeared underneath him, taking his bed, television, dresser, and HIM down into the deep recesses of the earth. Never to be seen again. Granted, this was on the opposite Florida coast from where I’m located, but since I’m now obsessing of this phenomenon, I’ve come across a number of instances where sink holes have appeared out of the blue.
This one I found particularly disturbing.
Granted this was in Guatamala. But still.
I lived in Los Angeles during the big Northridge earthquake. I really and truly thought I was going to die. In fact, I blamed that bleak episode on my periodic weight issues. After the quake, and during the weeks of aftershocks, my snacking options reached a fever pitch. I figured, what the heck, there would just be more of me to find in the rubble.
And I will admit that I was secretly glad to move to Florida for the sole reason that I wouldn’t have to experience any more earthquakes. I’ll take a hurricane any day over an earthquake, because at least you have time to GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE.
A sink hole gives you no warning. It simply swallows you whole, not caring if you’re wearing your tattered pajamas or not. Not that you’ll ever be found, mind you. Like that poor fellow that befell a 50 foot sink hole under his bedroom. He’s still there. The authorities simply demolished the house above him. And there you go.
How do you fill a 50 foot sink hole in a neighborhood? Inquiring minds.
Now I have one more thing to worry about. It could happen at any time. I could be sitting here at my computer pounding out a post and all of a sud