The Tooth Fairy Cannot Catch a Break

We attended our small group gathering on Sunday evening, spending precious time with dear friends who share many of the same trials and tribulations that we endure.  In other words, they have children too.


When asked why we have such a successful small group which has just celebrated its 2nd anniversary, we answer, “Because we serve wine…”

No.  Not to the children.  Simmer down.

Anyhoo.  Cailey lost a tooth during prayer time.  Her father went to help her clean up the carnage in the bathroom, because we all know how well I handle carnage.  When she had blown through a sufficient amount of toilet tissue, she emerged to show the adults the fruits of her labor.  As you might imagine, talk of the tooth fairy came up.

I was reminded that the last time she lost a tooth, her dad instructed her to place the baggied tooth at the edge of her bunk bed, between the mattress and the slats.  She rolled her eyes and sighed, “I know, I know, Dad.  The Tooth Fairy has Lyme Disease and doesn’t like to climb ladders.”

She then reminisced that she caught me red handed sneaking into her room the next morning with a dollar bill behind my back, as I had forgotten to swoop in and collect the tooth the night before.  Lyme Disease also makes the Tooth Fairy very very tired.

This led to a few chuckles from the adults, who then reminded her not to spill her guts about the true identity of the Tooth Fairy to the younger children of our small group.  At the age of 11, she is armed with quite a bit of useful information that I pray she keeps to herself for the time being, as I don’t want to have to seek out a new small group that serves wine.

She then carefully wrapped the extracted tooth into a wadded up piece of tissue paper.  As best as I can make out, the tooth traveled home in Fiddledaddy’s pocket and was then placed on the kitchen counter.

As Cailey was preparing for bed, she came searching for the tooth in question.  I told her that I had not seen it.  Knowing that her mother is a closet neat freak who will put all the sandwich fixings away before her family has even had a chance to finish making the sandwich, the child began sifting through the kitchen garbage.

Sure enough, in her most accusatory tone, she announced, “MOM, you threw my tooth away!”

Imagine the nerve.  Me.  Throwing away a wadded up piece of toilet tissue left on the kitchen counter.

Carefully she cleaned off the tooth and deposited it into a snack baggie.  She brought it to me asking, “Can I just give this to you now?”  I stared at her.  “Um. No.  Humor me please and put it in the usual spot at the end of your bed.”

The look she shot at me was all SHE’S GOING TO FORGET IT AGAIN, I JUST KNOW IT.

And just think.  I have another child with a mouth FULL of baby teeth behind her.

The Tooth Fairy may need to install an ATM machine to bypass the whole customer service issue.


4 Responses to The Tooth Fairy Cannot Catch a Break

  • Our tooth fairy is know by leaving IOU notes sometimes. Poor thing is often short on cash…

  • Being military we told our children that the toothfairy was deficient at reading a map, and therefore (many times) got lost enroute to our new location. (Teeth always fall out shortly after a move you know.)

  • My daughter was so old when she finally finished losing teeth, that she would just put it on our dresser and retrieve her money in the morning. Works for me…

  • The Tooth Fairy is busy these days. My last post was about the Toot Fairy who frequents our house and has a terrible memory. Sigh….