The Service Planning

by Fiddledeedee on January 14, 2013

We’ve been spending a lot of time over at my father-in-law’s house.  The reasons are varied.  Mostly we find the experience healing, as we band together to share memories of my mother-in-law.  We also feel a need to check on PopPop and make certain that he’s not lonely.  Although I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t prefer watching an exciting Denver/Baltimore football game with a certain daughter-in-law who CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT ALL THE COLD and how she’s certain that we’re about to witness football players body parts strewn about the field as they have BROKEN OFF because of the frigid temperatures.

And when a player is called for holding in 11 degree weather, we’re all aware of what he’s really holding.

And then there’s the food.  A lot of wonderful family and friends are still trucking in food for the trough.  It has become apparent to me that my usual number one New Years Resolution which involves losing weight has evolved.  I’ve set the bar low this year as I intend to GAIN AS MUCH WEIGHT AS POSSIBLE.  So far, so good.

Can I pause for a moment and mention how grateful I am for that fairly recent fashion invention known as the pajama jeans?  They are the bomb in stretchypants.

Because of my use of the word bomb and stretchypants when discussing fashion, it should be apparent why I’m not considered fashion forward.  Or even fashion relevant.  I may, in fact, be the complete opposite of fashion relevance.

One of the other reasons why the family has been gathering is the planning of the service aspect of our joint grieving process.  The funeral will be Catholic in nature, so we have a bit of time to fill.  Each of the siblings have a part, and all of the grandchildren will be involved in bringing forth the communion gifts.  I’ve made it very clear that I will not and should not be allowed to speak publicly at my mother-in-law’s service, what with my issues with inappropriateness in times of extreme duress.

After my general announcement, all heads nodded in unison.

However, I have volunteered to perform an interpretive dance.

Several of the granddaughters will be recording songs dedicated to their precious grandmother.  Emme is singing “Best Day” by Taylor Swift.  If you have seen Taylor Swift’s “Journey to Fearless” video, you know that this is a song that Taylor sings in honor of her mother.  When Emme sang the song for so that we could hear the lyrics, I was a snotty blubbering hot mess.  She will do a beautiful job.

Never to be outdone, Cailey also announced that she wanted to do a Taylor Swift song for her Nana.  When asked which one she had in mind, she blurted out the first one that came to mind: “Trouble”.

Which really, if you knew my mother-in-law, would not be so far out of the ball park, as she could be quite mischievous.   But still.  There ought to be some sense of decorum.

Finally, Cailey has settled on “Blessings” by Laura Story.  She has a beautiful little voice, inherited from her father, who incidentally will sing live in the service.

There aren’t enough tissues in state of Florida.  I may need to be sedated.

There is no doubt in my mind that this will be a celebratory service to be remembered.  A fitting tribute to a woman who devoted her life to others.  She lived every single day as though it were a gift from God.  The Nana shaped hole in my heart is great, but my gratitude at having had this woman in my life is never ending.

DeeDeeSig

{ 7 comments }

1 Wendy Darling January 14, 2013 at 10:16 pm

It sounds like it is going to be a beautiful service. I could never sing live at a service, because I tend to get that HUGE lump in my throat and just end up mouthing the words because I can’t speak/sing through the tears. We had a funeral service for a baby nephew once and my sister really wanted my brother to sing Precious Memories. He stood behind a curtain and sang with a microphone. No one knew where he was, and he couldn’t see us. I’m not sure even that would work for me.

I’m continuing to pray for all of you. God bless you all.

2 AnnG January 14, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Praying for you and the family as you deal with this. Xoxoxo

3 Jana January 15, 2013 at 8:30 am

When my sweet grandma died, one of the things that brought me the most comfort was sitting with my cousins as we put together a slide show of pictures of her and each sharing our individual memories of her. There were so many tears and laughter as we realized anew how lucky we were to call this incredible woman “Grandma”. I’m praying for those kinds of moments for your family as well.
Peace and comfort!

4 JennyJoT January 15, 2013 at 9:01 am

Praying for y’all… wish I could be there for the service. I’d so love to hear your girls sing for their grandma.

5 Mollianne January 15, 2013 at 9:35 am

Bravo to Emme and Cailey and FiddleDaddy! I spoke {egads} and sang at my precious Grandmother’s service almost 10 years ago. I sang because Neenie asked me to sing. I spoke because my Mother asked me to speak. The morning of the service, my Rocket Man asked me what he could do for me. I told him he could take me home so I wouldn’t have to speak/sing. He said he would, but that I would be sorry for the rest of my life. Of course, I went to the service and did what my Neenie and my Mother asked me to do. And I have been grateful every time I think about it. So, so grateful that I had the opportunity to honor Neenie.

I work in a church and one of my duties is that of funeral director. I always tell people who are speaking/singing for their loved ones that they will always be glad that they did. Always! {I also offer to stand beside them and hold their hand, finish reading if they can’t, sing with them if they need me to. Somehow, knowing that someone would have picked up my slack if I had been unable to get through it was very empowering to me. I haven’t had to come through on that promise yet}

Praying for all y’all.

6 Lynn Maire January 15, 2013 at 11:07 am

Sounds like it will be loverly and a great honor to a wonderful lady.

7 Destiny January 16, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way…

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