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Down the drain

On Christmas Eve, I left the house to finish up some last minute Christmas shopping.  In reality, no gifts needed to be procured, I simply was in need of a mommy time-out, and I thought that a well timed trip to Hobby Lobby would beat sitting in a jail cell the day before Christmas.

I’m practical like that.

In my absence, Fiddledaddy put the little minions (who were the cause of my near fatal melt down) to work, in an effort to surprise me.  In a good way.  He announced to them that they were going to be in charge of cleaning out the two bathtub drains.  A job which I avoid like the plague, mostly because of my gag reflex issues.

As the tale was later told to me, Emme resigned herself to the task at hand.  And as a fan of the show “Dirty Jobs”, I think she secretly jumped on the idea with both feet.  Cailey on the other hand, broke down in tears.  A heaving ugly sob, as I hear told.  She lay prone, face down in the carpet, for a good while.  Wailing.

I’m pretty sure threats and ultimatums were dispensed, because eventually she fell in line and dutifully began extracting two years worth of human hair and much that was completely unrecognizable, but probably did contain DNA.  At one time.

Anyhoo.  Each girl was assigned to a different tub.  And for all their complaining, the long luxurious hair in question, belonged solely to each of them, as my shampooing regiment occurs in the sanctity of our shower.  Jensen, who occasionally benefits from having severe Atopic Dermatitis in that he gets to avoid a lot of the really filthy chores around the house, spent his time supervising the sister’s work.  And by supervising, I mean that he would stay long enough to watch the carnage being removed from the drain, wherein he would begin heaving like a dog.

When he could stand it no longer, he would sprint across the house to the scene of the other drains excavation, until his gag reflex was fully functioning, and he would then race back to the other drain, to check on the progress.

I understand that this went on for quite a while.


I came back home, refreshed somewhat, at least as refreshed as someone might be when venturing out on Christmas Eve to do a little faux shopping.  And I was pleasantly surprised to learn that if I wanted to take a nice soothing bath, I could do so without having to wait two days for the tub to drain.

It was an appreciated and unexpected Christmas present just for me.

I’m no psychic, but I foresee more impromptu shopping trips in my future.


10 Responses to Down the drain

  • I had to swallow the lump in my throat as to not get my lap top covered in vomit. Thanks for the pic.


  • Your family really knows how to celebrate the holidays. 🙂

  • Can they come to my house now? I just sent hubby to the Home Depot for one of those snake thingies, but no way do I actually want to use it!

    PS Did you buy anything good at HL?

    • Sadly, no. I was there in search of a knock-off Elf on the Shelf, but there was none to be found. I did net myself a roll of wrapping paper.

  • Wow! I was searching for a new Christmas Eve tradition! 😉

  • At lowes you can find these things, they look likes long plastic sticks with teeth on both sides. You shove them down the drain and pull them back up, takes care of the job in 2 min. Flat. It is a two person job though, one to unclogg the drain and one to hold the trash bag. It works great! Doesn’t help with the gag reflex though, it looks just as gross.

  • Thanks so much for that picture!

    This brings back fond memories of last year, when my bathroom sink clogged up. Seeing as it’s likely my long hair in that drain, the task fell to me. I went old-school–I unscrewed the popup drain, pulled out the drain cover, and then looked in with a flashlight. After nearly puking, I got a drycleaner wire hanger, made a smaller hook out of the hook, and grabbed that HUGE slimy alien-tail looking thing out of there and threw it into a waiting bag-lined trash can. Heaving and retching, I closed up the bag and threw it in the outside trash.

    You know, thinking back on this, nothing screams MERRY CHRISTMAS more than having somone ELSE do this dirty work! Good job FiddleDaddy!

  • We have a drain cover we bought from Lowe’s that eliminates the need to do that. It catches the hair as the tub drains.

  • I had to cover that picture as I read through your post. My gag reflexes are absolutely working.

    Drain cleaning is my husband’s job. For I too, would be dry heaving if I went near a clogged drain.

  • Me too, Carol. There’s no WAY I could ever handle that job! Although I do love the thought of making my girls do it. My poor husband has the unlovely job since living with 4 females who have LOTS of long hair gives him job security in that area. However, the fact that one of my girls gags when simply having to give the dog food (the smell), and another can’t even touch clean, soapy dishwater without thick, rubber gloves on (germ-a-phobe) I’m not sure it’s worth the battle.
    Enjoy your bath time!