Because I’m all about adventure, I found myself in Wal Mart over the weekend seeking emergency milk and maple syrup supplies. Since we don’t spend nearly enough time together as a family, we went en masse. We did have the good sense to employ the divide and conquer method of shopping. I had my girls with me. With their long gazelle like legs, they are able to keep emergency-shopping pace with my short stubby legs.
I was moving rather quickly (even for me) to procure the emergency supplies and whizzed down the cereal aisle. I passed an upper middle aged couple on my left. I say upper because since I’m what might be considered middle aged, and these people were likely my age, but looked like they lived closer to the wild side than I have.
As we came closer to the duo, I noticed smoke ascending from the woman’s nostrils and mouth. A good amount of smoke. And since I hadn’t smelled the unmistakeable scent of cigarette (I have heightened olfactory senses, a gift that keeps on giving), I could only assume that this woman was about to spontaneously combust. Right there on aisle 9. A decision needed to be made. Either I could scream FIRE and make for the nearest emergency exit, OR I could throw my jacket over her head as I tackle her, giving clear instruction STOP, DROP, AND ROLL WOMAN!
Just as I was about to act, my daughter whispered, “MOM, that woman is smoking and is HIDING a cigarette.” So astute they are at that age. Sure enough, she was hiding a cig in her sleeve. Then I had another decision to make. Should I stop and lecture this woman on the dangers of smoking, and smoking IN THE CEREAL AISLE at that? I mean, this is a retirement community. There are elderly folks on Wal Mart scooters packing oxygen and THEY ARE NOT VERY GOOD DRIVERS.
Or. I could scurry off and find the nearest Wal Mart associate to tattle.
I did neither, due to my non-confrontive nature. And my irrational fear of getting beat up by a biker dude and his smokey lady friend.
Seriously. Smoking in Wal Mart. I am kicking myself for not always having my camera readied for weekend trips to Wal Mart. For this reason alone. (Warning: site can contain inappropriate material. You know how I feel about THAT.)
Oddest thing you’ve ever encountered in Wal Mart?