Wanna hear something gross? Really really gross?
I can report this, because for once, I’M NOT ON THE RECEIVING END OF ALL THE GROSS. So set your coffee cup down and hang on.
Last week on Labor Day, my sister-in-law felt something hit her on the forehead as she slumbered. She turned over onto her side and that something scurried down her face AND INTO HER EAR. She sat bolt upright in bed, noticed that her ear felt clogged, and then the horror of what had just happened began to sink in. As it were.
She began yelling for her husband to GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT. My BIL is the calm sort, so I’m quite certain that he was the only thing standing between his wife and a full fledged nervous breakdown. At this point she could feel the thing wriggling around and going in deeper. She began flushing out her ear with hot water, peroxide, oil, and alcohol. I’m thinking she’s lucky that her whole head didn’t explode. A little baking soda and some ammonia and she would have made the morning news.
She called a friend of hers who works for an ENT physician, and she was told that whatever it was would most likely be dead by now, and to be careful about going to Urgent Care as they might not have the right instruments to retrieve…it.
So my SIL went about her business for the NEXT TWO DAYS before she was finally able to get in to see her family doctor. At this point her ear was still clogged, and the horror of what was lodged inside finally dawned on her as the doctor extracted PIECES OF THE OFFENDING COCKROACH.
Let me pause to say that one of the clear draw backs to residing in Florida, is that we have bugs as big as your head. And apparently, there are bugs that can FIT INSIDE your head as well.
The doctor was trying to reassure my SIL that this sort of thing happens ALL THE TIME in Florida.
My SIL was beginning to freak out as they continued to dig, while holding her down. And what luck, they couldn’t get the head out, because during all the water and what-have-you flushing, the bug BURROWED into her ear. Because they don’t go in reverse, y’all.
Surgery was discussed, but the doctor went in one more time in an attempt to pull out the head. My SIL tried to describe the long tweezer type instruments used, but my eyes rolled to the back of my head and the room went black.
I can only imagine what she felt like.
I’m happy to report that every single particle of bug was at long last removed, the ear was cleaned, and my SIL was given antibiotics. (I would have requested a sedative.) Although after a week, she still can’t bring herself to talk at length about the ordeal.
I can tell you that she now sleeps in a head net.
Which I’m guessing is sort of like a lingerie laundry bag with a draw string. But I could be wrong.
As for me, I continue to sleep with my ear plugs and zorro mask so that most major orifices are protected. A head net is not far behind.
My husband no longer mocks my fear and loathing of All Bugs. After hearing his sister’s story, he admitted that he would have run screaming from the house in his underdrawers, and not stopped until he hit the hospital.
Anyhoo. Food for thought. Carry on. Have a nice day…
And for the record, the southern phrase “cute as a bug’s ear” is now dead to me.