Really…I’m Fine

I’m still on the lookout for a replacement for my old well worn out t-shirt which displayed a dead cow, hoofs pointing up to heaven, with the caption “Really…I’m fine,”  underneath.

Never has this visual been more appropriate.

Our home school year and all the accompanying activities are in full swing.  To begin the week, Emme enjoyed her first full day of Classical Conversations on Monday.  Her first class began at 8:30 in the morning, and I picked her tired self up at 3:30.

She was able to experience an inkling of what it might be like at real school, something she has always dreamed about.  On our way home, I looked over at her.  She was positively shell shocked.  I gave her a pep talk and brightly spoke of the merits of the program, and gently reminded her that she was wanting more of a school experience replete with peers.

“Why do you always have to put such a positive spin on everything, mom?” she asked disdainfully.

Like it’s a character flaw.

The next day I noticed her bee-bopping around the house without a care in the world.  “Have you done your CC homework?”  “Oh, sure, I looked it over.”

Which is code for, no, I stuck my fingers in my ears and am singing my happy song, hoping above all hopes that no one will notice me under the table in class next week because I’ll be completely unprepared.

I sat down to attempt to decipher her chicken scratch also known as handwriting, as she was  to list everything that needed to be accomplished before class next week.  Thankfully her class facilitator sent all of the parents an email detailing what work was expected to be completed by this group of 7th graders.

I printed out the email.  All six pages.

After reading it over, I was the one who was shell shocked.  Fiddledaddy glanced at me staring glassy eyed at the computer screen, asking me if I responded.

“Yes, I said I QUIT.”  Just kidding.  But I did try to think up with some form of hideous and unfortunate incident that could befall me to get me out of the whole thing.  Because I’m the one who has to motivate and follow up on my child to make certain that she’s not only keeping up with her work, but understanding it as well.  The blind leading the blind.

And this, my friends, includes light weight subjects like Henle Latin, Rhetoric, Apologetics, etc.

I pride myself in teaching only those subjects which contain one to two syllables at most.

I spread everything out on the kitchen table and attempted to make sense of her Latin homework.  WHAT THE HECK IS DECLENSION?  It sounds to me like something communicable and I DON’T WANT IT.

Why don’t I get this?  I was raised Catholic after all.  I went to church every stinking day while I attended Parochial School.  But I suppose all that time I spent knelt down in the vestibule pretending to tie my shoes so that I wouldn’t have to, you know, actually enter the church after exiting from the bus, didn’t aid in my understanding.  And yes, this was when the mass was still in Latin.

Oy.

Emme sat across from me at the table, forehead to wood.  I seriously couldn’t come up with a positive spin at all.  Except perhaps, MAYBE JESUS WILL COME BACK TOMORROW!

I am getting a handle on the Institute of Excellence in Writing curriculum that they use for the TWO reports that the students need to research and write prior to the next class.  In fact, I’m loving the IEW concept so much that I’m going to start using it with Jensen and Cailey.  If I don’t quit home schooling, that is.

And if Latin doesn’t kill me.

I had nightmares all night about being back in school, knowing that I had a test, but not having prepared for it.  But at least in this dream I wasn’t naked.  And I knew where my locker was.  So it could have been worse.

I woke up with perhaps one of the ugliest headaches in the history of headaches.  Not even coffee helped.  Later in the morning, as an angel sensing my despair (the email that I sent to her with the title HELP ME, DEAR GOD, HELP ME might have been a clue) my friend Beth called to talk me down from the roof.  Her sweet son has been involved in CC for a few years, and she no longer has a noticeable tic, and on top of that, her son is turning out just fine.  She was able to alleviate my fears, give me some very practical tips, and stop my hyperventilating.

Come to think of it, she has helped me navigate a number of life things, as she is also a fellow Lyme patient.  I’ve known her for years and am so grateful she’s in my life and is close by.

And so all of this should explain my unplanned absence from the internet.  It’s hard to type when you’re face down on the linoleum.  I’m back up and my perspective is once again positive as it’s time to face down Latin.

I ain’t skeert.

Any other new CC moms feeling a little overwhelmed?