I was preparing to attend church on Saturday night. As I was applying mascara to my left eye, my 10 year old, who I now look UP to, teetered into the bathroom. I noted her attire in the bathroom mirror, while nearly blinding myself with my mascara wand.
She was wearing her official church t-shirt (as she was to be serving on the children’s worship team), short blue jean short shorts, and black fur-topped go-go boots.
“You look like Nancy Sinatra.”
“Who is Nancy Sinatra?”
I then launched into my diatribe on what is appropriate church attire, especially considering she would be up on the stage, acting as a role model to the children in the audience.
“But MOM! I used to wear these shorts to church ALL THE TIME! And besides, IT’S HOT OUTSIDE.”
Which was true. When she was 9. Before she grew 12 INCHES in the span of a year. Making her already long legs look like those of a gazelle. And then the addition of the high heeled go-go boots, well, as you might imagine, I put my stubby foot down.
After some tears (not mine, this time) some raised voices (okay, mine) and a very firm BECAUSE I SAID SO (me again) she was finally dressed in appropriate jeans and flats. Plus a camo jacket just to be make certain that I knew SHE WAS NOT HAPPY.
At about the same time, the 12 year old, who is on the brink of teenage-hood, came breezing by holding a pair of short shorts in her hand. She is also in possession of gazelle legs and stands towering over me by a good 3 inches.
I sent her back in the same direction, with a very firm edict that no one is ever allowed to wear short shorts to church. Yes, I know this is Florida, AND EVERYONE DOES IT, but I have just drawn the line in the sand, and no one had better cross me.
Later I called my dad and apologized for my pre-teenaged attire and for the time that he had to pick me up from class because I wore black hip huggers slit up to my upper thighs to middle school. As you might guess, he is completely enjoying my current predicament. Especially since it is times two.
Modesty and the lack thereof is a constant heated discussion in our house. But Fiddledaddy has finally hit upon a cure.
We have banned string bikinis from the girl’s swim wear drawer. On the way to the beach today, Emme and her father were embroiled in the tired discussion once more. Because he is an excellent orator, he posed the question to her, “Why do you want to wear a string bikini?”
Her answer, “Because they are more comfortable.”
I happen to know that this is a lie from the pit of hell, because I wore my share of string bikinis in my youth, and I was constantly fishing it out of various body parts, not to mention the need to double knot the top so that nothing important was free to flap in the breeze. Comfortable they are not.
Fiddledaddy paused, “Okay then, if it is indeed more comfortable, like you say, I think I’LL wear a bikini to the beach.”
She went ashen. Evidently fighting the visual threatening to burn her retinas.
“NO WAY, DAD! THAT’S GROSS.”
He countered, “Why? Too much skin?”
“YES! YOU WOULD BE SHOWING TOO MUCH SKIN!”
“My point exactly. But if it’s more comfortable, and if it’s good enough for you, I will do it too.”
Silence.
When he came home and told me of the exchange, I thought it was a brilliant plan.
So much so that I’ve decided to get in on the action and threaten to purchase myself a fluorescent string bikini. One size too small.
And I’ll be borrowing the 10 year olds black fur lined go-go boots.
Thus solidifying our family’s need for the group rate at our next therapy session. But at least we’ll all be more comfortable.
Some day I look forward to those weekly apologies from my children when they have children of their own. I just hope I live long enough to answer the phone.
{ 16 comments }
LOVE how Fiddledaddy answered that. LOL…
Not to sound like I’m gloating (because I’m not), I have the opposite problem. I’m the one telling my oldest that “no, that is not to low cut!” “no dear, that skirt is long enough”.
You want to know the secret?
When she was about 9, our church sponsored a Secret Keeper Girl Event. (www.secretkeepergirl.com) It was LOUD and CRAZY and FUN and explained how important modesty is and showed how dressing “hip” (is that the current word?) can be done modestly. It was an amazing night! Four years later, she still talks about it.
Check them out and sponsor an event!
I am crying with laughter, DeeDee. I “should” apologize to my own mother after reading this. However, as the mama to just three boys, I’m not inclined to do that just yet. I’m quite certain that I’ll need to eventually. For now, just getting them to change their clothing is most of the battle. That and reminding them as needed that socks are never ever to be worn with sandals.
I always suspected that Fiddledaddy was the brilliant one in the family!
ha, ha Love it!!! Make sure you use this FiddleFamily story when you do your first presentation at FPEA!!!!!!
Well, at least there are discussions, tiresome as they may be. Our kids as teenagers simply sulked and refused to talk about anything. Our daughter was not as bad as our son, but you could cut the tension with a knife at dinnertime with him once his sister left for college. it seems that just having to live with his parents at all was too painful for words.
I had thought that one of the benefits of homeschooling was that battles related to wanting to behave and dress like peers would be avoided, but I guess they happen anyway. Perhaps there is some consolation in the fact that you have less of the “peer pressure”.
We’ve had quite a few discussions with our 12 year oThey r 2.5 hrs awayld who now is the same height as me….5’6. She has long long legs as well and is shaped like a stick. It was a bit disconcerting but now I’m more used to it. The two piece dilemma is not as much of an issue here in Ohio. I just know once the door is opened its really hard to close if at all.
As we have 4 girls and are expecting girl number 5…this discussion is going to be happening for a LONG time.
DeeDee: If you can watch the movie “Agenda”. We purchased it through Vision Forum, but you can get it from Amazon.com. You may wonder what this has to do with this post, but if you watch it you will see. Also, do some research on the history of “Feminism”. Another good DVD is “Indoctrination”, also through Vision Forum. The history of the public school. I homeschool, but I was shocked to see what “I” was indoctrinated with growing up in the public school with liberal parents. A real eye opener. You will be blessed if you can view them, especially Agenda. Just thought I would pass it on
That is brilliant! I’m bookmarking this for a future use. (my girls are 9 and 6.5)
Michael Hyatt’s post, ‘Whatever happened to Modesty’ offers 4 wonderful guidelines for girls (he and his wife raised 5 daughters). You should check it out!
He’s very clever! (And not that I’m advocating string bikinis for kids – my cousin’s daughter had one tied too short/tight this weekend and I had to pull her aside quietly in the hallway because it had ridden up so far on her 10yo self that it was no longer covering anything important up top – but I absolutely find them more comfortable. But I’m speaking from A and B cup experience, small frame so fitting clothing is difficult, and a long torso so one pieces are generally pretty uncomfortable at the legs and shoulders. Used to have to buy a one-piece just for youth group events – too chilly in my area to cover a two-piece with a wet t-shirt – and the bandeau top with boy shorts two piece was significantly more modest than a stretched-taunt-vertically one piece that gave me significantly more cleavage than actually existed. Also gave the incompently flirting church boys a place to stick candy wrappers and CLAMS in said cleavage. Not so much an option in my preferred suits. But the triangle tops were still more comfortable, and I’m a modest dresser and would never be comfortable with that much skin showing in real clothing.)
Again, not that I’m a fan of the bikinis-on-kids thing.
But there is a chance she isn’t lying about the comfort, and annoyingly those long-torso one-pieces are pricier with fewer options. A tankini, maybe?
I laughed out loud at Fiddledaddy’s response! However, I do agree with S. My daughters are also tall. (One was over 6′ at 15) One piece swimsuits are not made for her. She is also thin! (Skirts are an issue, too) We have elected to go the tankini route. We would have to buy a one piece waaaay to big to fit her long frame, and that would cause other parts of the suit to be ill-fitting.
Also, Fiddledaddy’s response is great, but I know my child would call his bluff. There are few dull moments in this parenting experience.
My husband and I say all the time that God gives you teenagers to make the transition easier when they leave for college!
When I was about 7, I took a beginners hip hop class at the Rec center. Getting ready for class one night, I opted to wear the same “gym clothes” that I’d always seen the dance/exercise ladies on tv wear: form-fitting Spandex-ish biker shorts and a tight, mostly spandex dance shirt.
For the life of me I had no idea in my innocent young mind why my mom refused to allow my exit from the house.
Well played, Fiddledaddy! Well played…
Umm. If the fiddle family plans to all arrive at our church beach event in bikinis, will you please warn me?
If the Fiddlefamily decides to deck themselves in bikinis, will someone please, please post pictures?
FYI -we recently found “Secret Keeper Girls” curric. you may find their website at dot com. They have curric. specifically about clothing choices for today’s girls.
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