Two of my children have personality quirks that fall on both ends of the above spectrum.
The oldest child is my Nervous Nelly. She has a contingency plan in the event of any imagined emergency.
My heart aches for her as she has now reached the delightful age wherein she’s certain that everyone is staring at her no matter where we are. And because she is a long drink of water, she tends to slouch at the prospect.
The truth of the matter is that sometimes people really are staring at her because she is turning into a stunning beauty. Which she doesn’t recognize at all. And it has not escaped her father’s notice that boys are occasionally falling all over themselves to get a gander at her.
Last month when we were camping, I sent her back to the pool to retrieve some item we left behind. With a sheepish grin she returned and confided that as she walked past the jacuzzi a teenaged boy called to her, “HEY!” When she turned to look at him, he added, “You’re cute!”
Her response of course was to hurry her pace while hiding behind her beautiful curly chestnut hair. I told her the next time this happens, and it will, just shoot back, “HEY! I’M 12!”
Or “I’ll be sure to tell my dad that. WHEN HE GETS OUT OF PRISON.”
An eye roll may have followed.
As it is now, all I can do for her is to help navigate the treacherous waters of puberty, and help her find solid footing on self esteem.
This all came to mind as I read an article on the Mom’s Homeroom site called “Tattle Tales and Worry Warts.” It caught my eye because I immediately thought “I have one of each!”
The younger sister of course falls into the Tattle Tale category. One thing that the article mentioned was that tattling usually subsides by the 3rd grade. Evidently I’m nurturing a late bloomer, because as she’s entering the 5th grade this year, she’s showing no signs of slowing down.
We all have her pegged in a career as a law enforcement officer or an attorney. Because besides the gift of tattling, she can and will argue with a brick wall, if a more worthy opponent is not readily available.
Basically what I’m learning about my very different children at this age is that they are in the throws of varying self-awareness (this does not apply to Jensen as he still possesses NO FILTER WHATSOEVER).
I am the self appointed traffic guard, attempting to help them work through the inevitable conflict and give them a safe environment to try and fail. And then encourage them to try again.
Even on those days I’d much rather lock myself in the closet.
Any good tips on how to deal with Tattle Tales and Worry Warts? And please humor me by telling me that they grow out of this phase!
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From what I’ve read this last year and half or so, if anyone can help their children navigate these waters, it’s you!
Have you tried a tattletale jar, where youngest daughter can submit a tattle on a piece of paper and you can get to them in a timely matter at the end of the day with a nice little glass of apple cider?
I can tell you they DO grow out of it! At least mine are. Or I should say they don’t grow out of it completely, it just becomes less and less of an issue. My worry wart has found her niche in musical theater at school and this has gone a long way toward helping her be comfortable in her own skin. The tattling still goes on at times, but now that she’s 13 she is beginning to really believe me when I tell her that her father and I are not going to college with her and she better learn how to deal with things on her own!
All said, it’s a growing experience for everyone. Your in the thick of it now, but I promise it gets better
I use to love the tattling when the kids were little and I would hear on Christmas morning “Open this one mom,it has the craft item you wanted” but anyother tattling drove me crazy as it was the “He spent 40 minutes in the bathroom you know!” kind. They both ourgrew it as they learned that the dad (a police officer) would tackel any and all boys who would think about dating HIS daughter and his son better treat any girl like he was standing beside her! Both felt safe and secure and so the habits stoped. Hang in there.
I have a friend who once said, “You are so lucky! With just one child, you don’t have to deal with tattling.” My response was, “Yes, I do. He tattles on his father to me and on me to his father!”
I have two sisters and we didn’t tattle on each other. We were fighters and not lovers…
I work at a preschool and love it. what we do with tattlers is ask “Are you trying to be helpful or hurtful?” They will answer you either way. Your respond is “You can be helpful by …” An example, if they tattle that brother is not picking up his toys, you ask the helpful/hurtful question and then lead the tattler to help pick up the toys with brother. It does not take long for the tattlers to learn that they do not get the respond that they would like from us. We use the Concious Disciple examples by Dr. Becky Baily.There is a website with more examples and books, and dvds, etc.
I love your blog, you make me laugh out loud.
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