The Deposit

In an effort to shave banking fees from our monthly statement, I’ve opted to only do my banking business with machinery.  Which meant that I had to make friends with the drive-thru ATM outside of our bank.  Gone are the days when I can pull up and be greeted by a friendly teller over a loud speaker, who then dispenses suckers via the suction tube at the end of the transaction.

It’s that kind of personal one-on-one customer service that my bank is so well known for.

Anyhoo.  The ATM machine was switched out some time ago for a new fangled model that no longer accepts my nice neat envelope filled with my color coded and alphabetized checks to be deposited.  Nay.  This new machine wants the checks in a stack, all facing the same direction.  NO ENVELOPE.

Frankly, I don’t see how it can be smart enough to sort, come up with a sum, and ask pertinent questions regarding each check.  I am of the opinion that there is a petite bank clerk hiding therein.

But I’m getting off topic.  How unusual.  The other day I pulled up to the intrepid ATM to make my deposit.  Because I’m a rebel, and I have lost checks out of the car window by trying to submit them in a stack, I deposit them one by one.  The cars lined up behind me really appreciate how fastidious I am.

On this particular day I was inspired to enter the checks rather quickly.

Please feast your eyes just to the top right of the mirror.

I did not have the good sense to snap the picture on that round.  I burned rubber around the corner to get a good view of the next guy in line behind me.  Hoping I could capture footage to enter on America’s Funniest Home Videos.  As it turns out, the guy behind me was an elderly woman who was either not afraid of spiders, or  legally blind.  Judging by the way she leaned WAY IN to read the screen, I’m guessing the latter.

And really off topic, why does the bank feel the need to add a BRAILLE touch pad to their DRIVE-THRU ATM?  Burning questions.

I did feel a little bit guilty that I didn’t warn the next customer, because SHE LEANED IN REALLY REALLY CLOSE.  But, hey, there was $10,000 at stake.  Should I provide the winning AHV video.   Curiosity got the better of me after the car left, because I circled and drove up to the ATM again.  This time I handed the camera to Cailey, who opened her back window to snap the photo.  (Which should explain the multicolored nails.)  Spiders can jump you know.  It would be a shame for the driver of the vehicle to be impaired.

In hindsight, I really do believe that it’s another ploy of our bank to encourage fewer trips to the bank.

It worked for me.  On the rare occasions I now go, I deposit our checks by slipping them under the door at the entrance to the bank.  Win win.  I don’t have to interact with a bank employee, or its arachnid accomplice.  Pretty soon they are going to start paying ME to bank there.

9 Responses to The Deposit

  • MERCY!! You did better than me, because I would have been too afraid to put the checks in at all.

  • OMG!!! I would leave and let the spider have its space. It’s all yours dude , checks bouncing. lol

  • I would have screamed than had a heart attack right then and there. Remember, I live in New York State where we freak out over the tiniest of spiders. My Florida and Texas blogging friends give me perspective – I live in the WORST state for taxes, but at least we have small insects!

  • I would switch banks.

  • Makes going inside and dealing with a teller look like a much better idea.

  • This reminds me of reason #532 why I left Florida in the first place. Insects, and such, the size of your head are not my idea of fun. Unless peeing in your pants is considered fun. In that case, yes.

  • After reading about the swarms of spiders in India last week that killed two people, I would have probably burned rubber, too! Yikes!

  • I missed the dang thing the first time, and after reading the paragraph after the picture? Scrolled back up, hit Ctrl+ several times (being blind as the bat that will most likely be hiding there next time) and came about as close to jumping out of my wheelchair as I have.

    It would have been a Miracle Healing, I tell you!

    How you live in FL, I have no idea. I am waiting for the Locust post and then the Waters All Turn to Blood (and the alligators all come out a’swingin’ post) and then? I will look for you to be knocking at my door for refuge.

    Sheesh. Never a dull moment for you, poor thing.

    You need a nice calm day. Like where the only thing that happens is you blow up a BBQ or something…

  • I applaud the fact that you took a second trip to the spider just to get us photographic evidence and that you had your child take the picture for you….well played! 🙂