I picked up the phone the other day. The voice at the other end was reminding me about Jensen’s dental appointment for his bi-annual cleaning. “We look forward to seeing Jensen on Thursday.” ”Yeah, you say that now.” Crickets. “Um, did I just say that out loud?”
I never know how appointments like these are going to go. Especially when two really helpful older sisters delight in putting the fear of God into a certain 6 year old brother regarding dental and doctor visits. I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE A SHOT. JUST DON’T EVEN LOOK AT THE NEEDLE. HEY, YOU MIGHT GET TO SEE THE DRILL!
It’s a gift. And the reason that I owe my dad that weekly apologetic call for all the chaos that I instilled as an older sister myself.
On the morning of the official dental visit, Fiddledaddy offered to take young Jensen. I was pushing them out of the door before he changed his mind. Cailey offered to attend as well. “I want to keep him company.”
Sure pal. I’m guessing that she was hoping for a front row seat to a very public meltdown.
The appointment was scheduled for 9:30 am. Fiddledaddy is nothing if not punctual, so he left the house by 9 am. The drive should only take about 15 minutes.
Imagine my surprise when I received a call from the dentist’s office at 10:00 informing me that Jensen had missed his scheduled appointment. What? They should have been there 45 minutes ago. There’s no way you could miss him, he’s a memorable kid. Rarely ever entering a building quietly. Could you go check to be sure he’s not here?
Insert Muzak while I wait on hold.
“No, I checked and they’re not here.”
My heart stopped. And then I remembered that Fiddledaddy had TWO of my offspring with him. I told the office I would get back to them, hung up, ordered Emme to get dressed, and then tried to call Fiddledaddy on his cell. No answer.
My mind goes to the dark place and I envision them all in an overturned car, likely having amnesia and that’s why no one called me. Or the worse scenario that I don’t even need to describe. I begin to throw on shoes and grab my purse, trying to imagine exactly the route which Fiddledaddy would have taken. Which would not be the one I take in order to avoid unprotected left turns.
Just then the phone rings. “They are here! As soon as they arrived, they were whisked away by the dental assistant, not having time to check in with the front desk. Our apologies.” Evidently the dental assistant broke with protocol.
Seriously. It’s a small dental office. I could spit from one end to the other. How could you possibly miss Jensen? I’m guessing that he was unable to speak in ALL CAPS as he is wont to do since there were instruments in his mouth. Likely the most quiet he’s been in his entire life.
Interestingly, Cailey was in the waiting room the whole time, and overheard them calling her mother and talking about her brother not being there, and still she sat quietly…She admitted later that she wondered about what transpired, but kept silent.
Cailey. The resident narc. Always willing to stick her nose into everyone else’s beeswax, sat silently by while her mother had a coronary.
Two instances wherein the usually noisiest children in the house could have actually been a help. Silence.
On the bright side. There were no cavities. (Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”)
I should report that I’ve developed a new twitch which I’m sure all around me will find distracting. Please just step over me.
Have a wonderful and stress free weekend!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh! Now that is good!
Our whole crew goes to the dentist at one time. . .We take up the entire office, and it’s like a have my personal mini-office whilst there, for while I’m “lounging in the recliner” all the hygienists and the dentist come to me and inform me regarding the dental health of my family.
Oh my gosh. I’d have gone to the dark place as well. I can’t believe Callie didn’t speak up sooner! Good luck with the twitch. I’ve heard from a very reliable source that some ChocoVine might help with that.
I think when you become a mother your mind just automatically goes to the dark place. I would have done the same thing.
Have a great weekend!
Blessings!
What a way to start your weekend!
By the way ~ did you see that Publix has “buy theirs, get ours free” going on? You buy the name brand and get the Publix brand of the same product for free so you can see that Publix brand is just as good. I thought this might appeal to the bargain hunter in you
And once again I’m reminded why I don’t (or shouldn’t) read your blog at work. I’m not really sure why this made me laugh so hard because I really do feel your pain. I’m pretty sure my son is a mini Jenson and my daughter plays the part of Callie well so this could very well be us in a few years. That is assuming I find a husband between now and then who would be willing to take a child to the dentist! I’m pretty sure those are few and far between, so there’s a silver lining for you!
I hope you have a great weekend!
My hubs equates the dentist with waterboarding. He hates going. He always complains for the week before and calls in pure torture. It cracks me up because he acts like such a kid about it.
My son, however, has a record of going to the dentist about seven times in one year due to knocking out half of his permanent front tooth while playing football in a neighbors garage. (He always asks me to add in to the story that he caught the pass, and could not reach out to protect himself during the fall because he would have dropped the ball.)
Just sharing.
Must be the novocaine fumes in the air there
Thanks for always making me laugh (usually outloud).