You know how sometimes you’re in the middle of dealing with a really heavy subject, and you sit down at your computer and pour your heart out through your fingertips? And then the next morning you read what you posted and you think to yourself, “I AM A DOWNER.” Yeah. I’ve had a few of those moments recently.
Your comments floored me. I just had a feeling that suicide has touched the lives of more than a few of you. I knew you would understand what was on my heart and what I was trying to say.
On a positive note, I did speak with my step-mother and she is handling this much better. I was awfully worried about her as she wasn’t answering her phone all day. Turns out she was alleviating stress by dining out and napping. As she explained it to me, she’s in the angry phase of the grieving process. Tomorrow may bring about a new wave of emotions. It’s just something that you have to go through.
I decided to take drastic steps to get myself out of my own self imposed funk. I did what any ordinary middle aged woman would do. I checked “Monty Python & The Holy Grail” out of the library. And oh my, it did not disappoint. Fiddledaddy had to close me in my bedroom because of all the raucous guffawing. You know me and inappropriate humor. A match made in heaven.
New favorite line. “I fart in your general direction.” Even better than, “I’m not dead yet.” Or “It’s only a flesh wound.”
Fiddledaddy, who has not seen the movie in a decade or more, asked me if I thought the kids could watch it. Decidedly NOT.
And then I did something else. Totally unexpected. I’m somewhat of a rigid homeschooling mother. I like a schedule and I like to stick to it. Even if it kills me. I had planned on working 5 days this week, but I spontaneously decided to chuck school for the day and spend a few hours at the park with friends. Oh sure, I had pangs of guilt, but I got over it.
My homeschooling mentor, Lisa Whelchel, once told me that I needed to, well, lighten up. If not, all they will remember is the stress. I’m finally listening to her wise words. After 7 long years of homeschooling.
Lighten up. Life is precious. And all too brief.
God bless you, my sweet friends.