I spent my Sunday afternoon in Walmart. Because I have a deep and abiding need to torture myself. And really, if you spend the afternoon at Walmart, the rest of your week can only improve.
I have moments that I take mental pictures of other Walmart patrons to be mentally posted onto Peopleofwalmart.com. I’m not proud of these moments. But in my own defense, I never ever actually whip out my camera or iPhone. It’s just something I think about in a feeble attempt to take my mind off of my misery that I’m in Walmart on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.
As tempting as a photograph might be, I have to think there but for the grace of God go I. And I’m not adding a link, because I do not want you to lose the next 20 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back. Like I just did.
Anyhoo. While I was busy thinking, another thought that I had was that the Walmart shopping cart is poorly designed. I know I’ve complained of the lack of this feature before, but it bears repeating. The shopping cart really needs a cup holder. Because the front facing child seat has far too many other functions to adequately keep a beverage in place. Since I know longer have the need for a child seat to hold, you know, a child, I must use it for my coupon box and clip board containing my grocery list.
And this is a problem, since the clip board slips between the metal slats unless you have the plastic seat down. A plastic seat that most likely is the singular carrier of the plague.
If you put the plastic seat thingie down, you run the risk of your coupon box slipping from the seat entirely, clattering to the floor, and thusly all of your hard work organizing your coupons by category is all for naught.
This has never actually happened to me, for if it did, I most certainly would make it onto Peopleofwalmart.com while sitting on the floor of Walmart, crying over spilled coupons.
There is also no decent place to store one’s bags that they dutifully tote in order to save a plastic tree. Or 12. In my case, I place them underneath the cart, but run the risk of tripping over the handle in the event they slip out. I’ve done that.
On a positive note, Walmart is a place that I am guaranteed a good workout. While there on Sunday I visited the gals at Customer Service in order to return something. When I made my way to the back of the store I realized that I didn’t have my clip board containing my list. I assumed it must have slipped between the slats and fallen to the floor unnoticed. Because you know, ALL THE VISUAL STIMULATION. So I headed back up to Customer Service to see if anyone had found it. No such luck.
I retraced my steps and could not locate it. So I decided that I’d just have to rely on my memory. Which is not unlike a sieve. Just as I made it to the back of the store again, I heard an announcement over the intercom. It went something like: Would the static static static GREEN CLIPBOARD static static static Customer Service.
Back up to the front of the store I went to reclaim my clipboard. Which evidently I had left on the counter during the return transaction. And then I turned and went to the back of the store again to pick up where I left off. I figure I clocked a good 3 miles. Now you might ask yourself why I didn’t just start shopping from the front of the store.
Because I am, if nothing else, a sad creature of habit.
All this to say that I’m issuing Walmart a challenge. Design a shopping cart with amenities such as a cup holder and a place for coupon box and shopping bags. I may just do this myself and therefore will make my first million. Right after I design a stroller to carry all the
crap paraphernalia needed to frequent Disney World or other such ventures without spending money on food and for 6 year old boys who cannot muster the energy to walk more than a block. Even though swinging from the light fixtures at home is a light work out.
If this has already been patented please let me know where I can find it.
Happy Monday, everyone.