I was sitting at my desk, when a flash of Jensen whizzed by me, seeking refuge in the master bathroom. I don’t know why he prefers the seating in my bathroom to, say, HIS OWN bathroom. But I pick my battles.
After a few minutes I hear from behind the closed door of my bathroom, “HEY MOM! BRING THE CAMERA!”
Words that should strike fear in the heart of every mother who has born a boy child.
From behind the safety of the closed door, I asked him WHY he thought this moment ought to be captured on film. Not really wanting to know. He replied that he was CERTAIN the toilet was at long last going to clog up and over flow, and he wanted to be sure to preserve the moment for all time.
He apparently had been saving up.
For the last several years of his young life, Jensen has been, oh let’s just say it, OBSESSED with toilets. This began during the pre-school years, when I had to warn all Sunday School nursery workers that the child might try to flush his own head if not watched closely enough.
During this same period, he was spotted licking a toilet seat.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint, this incident occurred within the confines of our own home. And nearly resulted in me slamming the lid down on his head in an attempt to stop the madness.
As he grew, so did his fascination for plumbing, plumbers, and All Things Toilet related. It should come as no surprise that his very favorite super hero is Super Mario. Mario, it should be noted, is a plumber by trade.
Whenever his father travels out of town on business, and talks to us over Skype, the girls want to be sure and check out the hotel room. Jensen asks Fiddledaddy to take the computer into the bathroom so that he can see the toilet flush. Fiddledaddy dutifully complies.
Jensen lives for the moment that an actual toilet will overflow in his presence.
Which is why I generally have to keep a close eye on him when he ventures into the bathroom, for fear he will try to hurry along the inevitable toilet clog by flushing a sister, or a sister’s beloved stuffed Zoe doll. For example.
Today he learned that his Aunt Trish had a plumbing problem, and was calling to see if we had some sort of apparatus that you screw into the toilet to unstop it. We do not have such a tool. But Jensen’s unbridled enthusiasm for his aunt’s plight caused him to attempt to pack a suitcase to move in with Aunt Trish during this crisis.
Because clearly, Aunt Trish is in possession of superior toilets.
I think I’ve been a pretty good sport about the whole thing. I keep the kid outfitted in overalls, after all. I take the kid into nearly every public restroom we come across so that he can mark his territory. And investigate the competition.
But it’s starting to get to me, people. And I admit that I’m really looking forward to a phase that doesn’t involve a receptacle that holds body fluids.
And for the record, this was his favorite cereal bowl.
For his 7th birthday, perhaps I’ll throw him a potty! Any ideas for games and party favors will be appreciated.