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A Kodak Moment

I was sitting at my desk, when a flash of Jensen whizzed by me, seeking refuge in the master bathroom.  I don’t know why he prefers the seating in my bathroom to, say, HIS OWN bathroom.  But I pick my battles.

After a few minutes I hear from behind the closed door of my bathroom, “HEY MOM!  BRING THE CAMERA!”

Words that should strike fear in the heart of every mother who has born a boy child.

From behind the safety of the closed door, I asked him WHY he thought this moment ought to be captured on film.  Not really wanting to know.  He replied that he was CERTAIN the toilet was at long last going to clog up and over flow, and he wanted to be sure to preserve the moment for all time.

He apparently had been saving up.

For the last several years of his young life, Jensen has been, oh let’s just say it, OBSESSED with toilets.  This began during the pre-school years, when I had to warn all Sunday School nursery workers that the child might try to flush his own head if not watched closely enough.

During this same period, he was spotted licking a toilet seat.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your viewpoint, this incident occurred within the confines of our own home.  And nearly resulted in me slamming the lid down on his head in an attempt to stop the madness.

As he grew, so did his fascination for plumbing, plumbers, and All Things Toilet related.  It should come as no surprise that his very favorite super hero is Super Mario.  Mario, it should be noted, is a plumber by trade.

Whenever his father travels out of town on business, and talks to us over Skype, the girls want to be sure and check out the hotel room.  Jensen asks Fiddledaddy to take the computer into the bathroom so that he can see the toilet flush.  Fiddledaddy dutifully complies.

Jensen lives for the moment that an actual toilet will overflow in his presence.

Which is why I generally have to keep a close eye on him when he ventures into the bathroom, for fear he will try to hurry along the inevitable toilet clog by flushing a sister, or a sister’s beloved stuffed Zoe doll.  For example.

Today he learned that his Aunt Trish had a plumbing problem, and was calling to see if we had some sort of apparatus that you screw into the toilet to unstop it.  We do not have such a tool.  But Jensen’s unbridled enthusiasm for his aunt’s plight caused him to attempt to pack a suitcase to move in with Aunt Trish during this crisis.

Because clearly, Aunt Trish is in possession of superior toilets.

I think I’ve been a pretty good sport about the whole thing.  I keep the kid outfitted in overalls, after all.  I take the kid into nearly every public restroom we come across so that he can mark his territory.  And investigate the competition.

But it’s starting to get to me, people.  And I admit that I’m really looking forward to a phase that doesn’t involve a receptacle that holds body fluids.

And for the record, this was his favorite cereal bowl.

For his 7th birthday, perhaps I’ll throw him a potty!   Any ideas for games and party favors will be appreciated.

11 Responses to A Kodak Moment

  • He’s still this obsessed with toilets? DeeDee, this is priceless. “Quick, Mom, grab a camera?” ha ha ha ha ha ha.

  • If you find a support group, will you let me know? I am thanking my lucky stars right now that my son doesn’t really have the love of the overflow, but otherwise I feel your patience pain. Three things: 1 – where did you get that toilet dispenser (I can never let my son see this until I know it’s replicable), and 2 – my son carries around Black and Decker’s Complete Guide to Plumbing (alternates with a boook on pools and spas), and 3 – our favorite plumber is holding a DIY class if you guys would like to join us at the end of the month 😉 Happy flushing!

  • Roadtrip time!!! Jensen will love this!
    There is a house is Jacksonville….on the westside of town (but that’s another story)….which belongs to a family with the last name of “Johns”…..
    Their entire front yard pays homage to their last name….
    Old toilets in every color imaginable decorate the lawn….with plants and flowers growing out of the bowls and tanks. Toilet seats are sprinkled (no pun intended – maybe…) as the make-shift fencing and drive-way borders…
    It is quite a sight! And most definitely a “Kodak Moment”…

  • I say you take Jensen and all of his friends to the “Johns” house Carla mentioned for an on-site birthday party. Surely they would indulge you in “Squeeze the Charmin” contests, toilet paper rolling races, obstacle courses in and on and around the toilets, baton-passing relays wherein a plunger is the baton… the possibilities are endless!

  • Lol! Thanks for the morning laugh. My nephews were just trying to convince my 3 year old to lick the toilet yesterday! I just about kick ’em to the curb! The would probably get along really well with Jensen! Haha! Love the bday idea. Let us know what you come up with!

  • Suggestions? How is your gag reflex? Because my mind went there and now I’m gagging. Thanks for that. 😉

  • A few months ago we had to replace our toilet seat, so while we were out one Saturday we stopped in Lowes to pick one up. As we were walking through the plumbing section, my son Alex had to try to flush every toilet on display, and proceeded to stick his head in each and every one of the toilet seats hanging on display. It must be a boy thing.

  • My house is 106 years old. I’m fairly certain the toilet is that old as well. Put that boy on a plane. The only reason we don’t have actual overflows is because the hubby is darn quick with a plunger. If you ever make your way to Minnesota be sure to bring the boy child!

  • HAHA! Just got a chance to read this one. Wish I would have know…. Over the weekend, my lovely C over-flowed the toilet…. the night before having 26 PEOPLE over for dinner. I hope our hall bath didn’t stink too bad for our guests. Oh, and did I mention I was dealing with the baby when he told me -upon which I forgot- and it sat oh-so-nicely for hours until his ‘grossed out’ sister discovered his masterpiece. YUCK!

  • My son was obsessed with the garbage. He was the only 6 year old I knew that would expound, at great length, on the difference between garbage, recycling, and compost. He even waited outside one morning to give our garbage pick-up people Christmas cookies.
    Fortunately the obsession passed when he turned 9. So take hope.