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The Bunk Bed

A couple of years ago, we decided that Jensen was ready for a big boy bed.  I’m not sure what gave us the first clue.  It could have been that his feet stuck out of the crib slats and we feared he would break a leg when he turned over.  Or perhaps it was that he could disassemble the entire crib himself and turn it into weaponry to be used against two older sisters who delighted in torturing him.

Whatever the reason, it was time for me to bid farewell to my baby, and proceed with the business of raising a young boy.

We went shopping at a family owned children’s furniture store in our area.  I had in mind that I wanted something like a captain’s bunk, with the bed slightly raised and drawers tucked away underneath.

What we ended up ordering was a loft style bunk bed, with attached dressers and a bookshelf.  It was very cleverly designed, in that the bed could sit on the floor, or be suspended in the air between two of the dressers.  A ladder would enable the owner to be able to ascend onto the bunk.

I looked at it as something that he could grow into, and we wisely set the bed on the safety of the floor.  Because, remember, this is Jensen that we’re talking about.  When Jensen turned 5, Fiddledaddy declared that his son was ready for the bunk feature of his bedroom set, and he petitioned the mother of his young son to agree.

I. did. not.

But when a father and a son join forces, and you’re talking about a mother that has the constitution of a marshmallow, a loft bunk configuration was eminent.  Which was no easy feat, mind you.  Especially since the bed had to be hoisted up and onto the two dressers.  And did I mention that the bed was made of pressboard?  I distinctly remember the selling feature was that the set was made of REAL wood.  But I couldn’t test that fact, since we ordered the set from a catalogue.  And by this time, the company was out of business.

It didn’t occur to me that the thing was made of pressboard until I attempted to lift my end.  Let’s just say that the cuss jar was full to capacity that day.  And yes, thoughts count.

The bedroom did look stunning, and Jensen was thrilled with the new set up.  For a week.  Then he declared that he wanted his bed back down on the safety of the floor.

I did not argue the point, because my young son had yet to master the art of sleeping through the night without marking his bed linens with body fluid.  And no, a night diaper did not always do the trick.  That bed was much easier to change from the floor, than up in the nosebleed section of the room.

So down it came.

And for the next blissful year and a half, there was peace in my valley.

Then Jensen began going through his I AM NOT A BABY phase, and once again, the father and son duo began petitioning that the bed be raised once again.  Like the loft bunk configuration was a sign of manhood.

And again, I did not jump on board, but was overruled.  But since the old grey mare ain’t what she used to be, Fiddledaddy had to enlist the help of his athletic younger sister to help hold up his wife’s end of the bed.

All was well for, let’s see, about a week.  And then the daddy left town.  And then we had the thunder and lightning extravaganza that I told you about earlier in the week.  And the boy has flat out refused to ascend the ladder.

Last night, with a clear forecast promised, I hauled his mattress back up to his bunk, and laid down the law.  There was much yelling, screaming, and gnashing of teeth.  And Jensen was pretty loud too….

In the end, Cailey offered to lay down with her brother until he got sleepy.  In my desperation, I agreed.  They both fell asleep.  And then as the story goes, Cailey woke up at about 1:30 to find her brother kicking her, and yelling things like, “I HATE YOU, YOU’RE SO MEAN.”

Evidently, Jensen was having a dream about some past infraction that Cailey had allegedly committed.  So she moved out.  More crying.  With a side of SEVERE SCRATCHING THAT COMES FROM HIGH ANXIETY.

In my stupor, I yanked the mattress down from the bunk with Herculean strength.  And I’ve forbid him to sleep up there until he has packed up the entire {{{BEEEEEPING}}} bedroom set and moved away to college.

He now resides once more on the floor.  I did make it a point to place his mattress under the loft, so as to have room to walk about the room.  But he had other ideas, as this is what I found when I peered down the hall.


It does look as though our carpeting needs to be mowed, but that’s simply a result of my awesome photography skills.  Also, my camera is set on “candlelight” and I can’t figure out how to re-set it.  But that’s Jensen’s head sticking out of the doorway.  Evidently he could not fit the mattress through the doorway to move out into the hall.

And as a footnote, the subsequent flashes from the camera woke Cailey up out of a sound slumber, thinking that the world was ending.

I’m still trying to calm her, as she lay in my bed, while I type this post.

Which may or may not account for the lack of cohesiveness.  As if.

I’ve proven once again that there is no rest for the weary.  And so it goes…

9 Responses to The Bunk Bed

  • I am up because of all the thunder and lightning up here, too. It’s not giving my kids any problems, but the Great Dane isn’t too happy. She grew up in N. Cal. her first 3 years of life, where thunder and lightning are nearly nonexistent.

    We had some loft beds for a while. Nice to have floor space, not so nice to try to make, especially if you have to shove one side up against the wall. Never again.

    I have to be up in less than 5 hours to take my daughter to meet up with her youth group to go to Nashville for a weekend retreat. I think I will be sleeping tomorrow.

  • Our son had bunk beds and he was NEVER allowed to sleep on the top, he walked in his sleep! Yea, there’s a blog post for the future! Fun times!!

  • Thankfully we decided not to buy a bunk bed when we were looking at big boy beds for Charlie. Hubby did like the “Loft” configuration but I managed to talk him out of it.

  • Is he afraid because he is up near the ceiling and so ‘nearer’ the lightening? or is it that he cant get down on his own in the dark to seek refuge with the grownups?

    If it is the first, you could maybe make one of those little tents to go over the head part of the bed .To make a sort of secret safe den . Like those princess type bed awnings but not pink.
    If it is the second, a fireman pole could be the answer for quick escapes or maybe it could be a batman pole if that is his thing. Failing that ,a slide is a quick get away.

  • I bought a lovely loft bed for my grandsons’ room at my house. It has drawers, shelves and a desk complete with a desk light. Nobody will sleep in it. These are 11 & 13 year old boys, who sleep n bunk beds at their house. It’s to hot. It is taller than a regular bunk and the air circulation in the room is poor. Imagine my thrill this week when my precious daughter hemmed and hawed before asking if they could take the system o their new house? Absolutely! I’m buying a matched set of twinbeds and a chest of drWersso fast it will make your head spin! Bye-bye loft. Hello possibility for a second guest room when the Boys Fantastic are not in residence!

  • Though you did not ask for it, I’d like to put my two cents in here.

    1. Put the mattress back on the top.

    2. If Boy does not want to sleep up there he can park it in a sleeping bag on the floor. Put a flannel backed plastic tablecloth (a few bucks at Walmart) on the floor under the sleeping bag.

    3. Voila. 🙂

  • Oh, DeeDee. Changing the sheets on the top bunk is just evil. I dealt with that for WAY too long. I’m liking the sleeping bag on the floor suggestion if he refuses to climb up there still. The mattress in the door picture is cracking me up. I can picture my 5 year old doing the exact same thing!

  • *hands DeeDee a bottle of Chocovine* It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay. You’ll get your revenge, I mean he’ll outgrow it.

    Bunk beds – been there, boys with ability to hold fluid for the whole day only to let it go at night – done that. I’m told the eye twitching eventually goes away.

    In a few years when you travel down memory lane (document everything) they will be horrified and accuse you of making the whole story up.