As homeschoolers, we can call most any errand a field trip. A trip to the grocery store? They’re learning about math, and how long it takes mommy to blow a gasket on aisle 7.
This last week, we took a real bona fide field trip to a police station. In the hopes that this would be the one and only time our children would ever grace the interior.
I do believe that there were some gadgets that held the moms attention, far more than our offspring. For example, the TRUTH machine. You know, that little black box that sits in the interrogation room. A suspect is outfitted with all manner of electrodes, which tell the machine whether or not he or she is PERJURING THEMSELVES.
I don’t know about you, but I could really get good use out of that one.
We were able to see where the 911 calls were taken. One of the children spied a red button on the wall, at eye level. What’s this for? DON’T TOUCH THAT BUTTON! We ordered all the 6 year old’s to take 3 giant steps backwards, and I made certain that I kept Jensen in a head lock. You remember what happens when Jensen spies pretty red buttons.
Evidently, whenever the police station is evacuated during a hurricane, the little red button is pushed to shut down ALL SYSTEMS. It is a rather herculean effort to get everything back up and running again.
I could use one of those red buttons. I am forever turning the van around to make certain that I unplugged my hair straightener before I leave home.
Then there was the jail cell. Well. I don’t have to tell you how I could benefit from that in my home. Not only would it make for an excellent time out room, but also a fabulous spot for me to get away.
The children were fascinated by the toilet.
Like they live on the prairie and have to rely on an outhouse, so this was truly a wonder to behold.
The police officer giving us the tour made fast friends with the mothers when he locked the children inside. We tried to talk him into keeping them there so that we could make a coffee run.
After the children were released, I can tell you that there was liberal use of hand cleaner on the little jail birds, as each mom whipped out her own personal stash.
But I think my favorite feature of the entire tour was the actual police car. It was decked out in rear hard plastic seats, with a plexiglass partition dividing the prisoners from the driver.
I’ve written to Honda on a number of occasions, asking if they could outfit their next Odyssey with this feature.
I mean really, the benefits of this type of get-up in a mommy van are endless.
The most unexpected surprise of this tour of the police station, came from Jensen, as he announced to me that he now wants to become a policeman when he grows up.
Plumber is no longer on the table, since he has developed an unexplainable fear of toilets. I blame the Disney World toilets that flush willy nilly, whether you’re ready or not. It’s unnerving to a small boy.
So my son may indeed see the interior of a police station again. But let’s just hope that he’s behind the badge.
Of course, we still have a field trip to the sanitation department to plan. So his career plans can turn on a dime.