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My Vlogging Skills Need Honing

I attempted to videotape my Publix Callback in Tampa today.  Really, I did.  I managed to shoot some footage (never while driving, of course) but I discovered when I was mercifully planted back on my own Florida coast and downloaded the film, that I had my FlipCamera inadvertently set on EXTREME CLOSE-UP.  I included a couple of still shots for proof.

The video footage looked like 3 facial pores having a conversation.

With no one in particular.

I would have thought that my ape like spaghetti arms would have more than made up for the fact that everything was a little too CLOSE UP.  Alas, no.

The 2 1/2 hour trip each way to Tampa and back were relatively uneventful.  I only veered off course twice.  Which for me, is good.  Especially considering my love/hate relationship with my husband’s girlfriend, otherwise known as the GPS.

I felt a thousand different levels of hatrid towards her as she took me through an unsavory part of town to get me to my destination.  Totally unnecessary.  And in actuality, she announced that I had arrived, when I was in front of a burned out building.

I’m certain that I heard her snicker under her breath.

Fortunately I had the good sense to go a bit farther and locate the correct building.  But after I parked, I realized that my butt had gone completely numb, and I could no longer feel my legs.  I feared falling to the pavement in the parking garage and becoming a Tampa crime statistic.

When the circulation returned, I entered the building and located the bathroom (HELLO, 2 1/2 HOURS). Then I found the designated audition room and dutifully set the complementary used hair net on my scalp, as I did not have enough notice to go seek my own hair net.  And once more I recreated the scene in front of the camera operator, director, and 4 or 5 people sitting behind the director at tables not making eye contact with any of us, because they were busying themselves behind their computers.

Probably playing Scrabble.

(This would make a most excellent mug shot)

I believe it’s down to me and 200 other actresses.  Slight exaggeration, as I could not really tell how many were called back.

But it is my opinion this role could have been cast from the first tape.  But what do I know.

Now I have to just forget about the whole thing.  Because that’s the healthy thing to do.

I have another audition tomorrow for a health food type of product.  I’m to play a vivacious, fun kind of gal that does not show her age…

And riding a bike could be involved.

If you’ll recall, the last time I rode a bike, I became well acquainted with the business end of a mailbox.

This is going to call for some real acting skilz.  OH, and the gal videotapes herself doing all these activities using her hand held camera.

I AM A SHOE-IN.  If I don’t end up in traction.

There was so much less danger in my life when I was just happy behind my keyboard.  And frankly, my keyboard is looking more and more attractive to me.

7 Responses to My Vlogging Skills Need Honing

  • Wow! So many auditions! You’re on a roll (role?) (horrid joke, I know haha)!!

    And videotaping myself while riding a bike? I would fear for small children and elderly pedestrians. ‘Cuz that requires so much more coordination than I came with.

  • You are a true fashionista. I think you rock the hair net. This could cause a new trend, ya know. 🙂

  • This morning, I am grateful for your humor.

  • Your husband’s girlfriend the GPS, snickering just cracks me up. I love to role play with my GPS, all the while saying what I think he would say to me if he could. Have you seen the Allstate Mayhem commercial — “Recalculating!”? Kills me.

  • Oh, how I love reading your blog.

    Here’s hoping both roles land in your lap!

  • Very fun, my friend, that you are back in the auditioning circuit 🙂 Hope you get lots of jobs! XOXO

  • I think you nailed the part. You look like a ticked off employee that is just waiting to serve the next customer who can’t make up their mind between honey ham and the brown sugar ham. Go you!