Thank you so much for all of your sweet comments about my family in the video/pictorial montage. I loved being able to share them with you.
A while back, I told you all that I was dipping my toes back into the acting waters by auditioning for commercials again. After a nearly 20 year absence. I had another audition last week for an orange juice spot, and learned yesterday that I had a callback. Set for today. And fyi, a callback is simply code for “we’ve narrowed it down from 200 to 50 or so, and we want to put you through the whole ordeal again.”
I had to grill Fiddledaddy regarding callback protocol, because nearly 20 years ago I had no children, and could actually put REAL WORDS TOGETHER AND REMEMBER IMPORTANT STUFF. Like how to program my VCR to tape “X-Files” because I was too scared to watch it live. At night.
He reminded me that I needed to wear EXACTLY the same outfit that I wore to the original audition. Which really bummed me out, because on the fly I had picked out a sort of frumpy frock because I was feeling puffy. And I know you know what I mean. So I was stuck with frumpy, instead of hip and cute. Which I prefer.
Of more immediate importance was my hair. I had roots. Which I decided to touch up this morning, prior to the audition. Because even if I’m feeling frumpy, a good dye job does me a world of good in the feeling sassy department. As I got to the highlight portion of the tinting session, I received a message that the casting director wanted to see all of us 45 minutes earlier than our call time.
And since I needed to drive to Orlando, every moment was already accounted for.
We had farmed all the children out to two different sisters, plus my good friend Brianna. Divide and conquer, a most awesome parenting technique. That way we are assured of no reports of bickering, and everyone has a fabulous time at their destination of choice. Emme got to spend the afternoon with her dear friend, and still get to her A.H.G. meeting. Cailey was able to be a little girl again with her girl cousins. And Jensen spent the afternoon frolicking with his boy cousins, fashioning weaponry out of everyday household heirlooms.
Fiddledaddy packed the children up and shipped them off to their destinations, which bought me more time for preparing for my closeup. After rinsing my hair, I was forced to use the blow dryer to speed things up. I don’t usually use the blow dryer because it is impossible to hear the inmates setting fire to our house while I’m trapped in the bathroom.
I threw my head over in an attempt to dry the underside first. When I righted myself, I noticed that my bangs stood straight up at attention. My 90’s counterpart would have been proud. I had mall bangs. And no amount of water, product, or coaxing could bring them back down. And what luck, the longer I used the hair dryer, the bigger the rest of my hair became. I looked like a dandelion.
Fortunately, I had plugged in my trusty Chi (a deluxe straightener that I would marry if I weren’t already spoken for) and my large barrel curling iron. I pulled, prayed, and finally talked my bangs into submission, as well as the rest of my hair. But because of the amount of product I had to use, I was hoping that no one would strike a match within 15 feet of me.
As soon as I finished, and was satisfied with the results, our electricity went out. For the next 20 minutes. Which honestly is not usually the way my luck runs. Under normal circumstances, the electricity should have gone off when my bangs were saluting the ceiling.
Which would have been AWESOME for the audition. And the requisite unflattering poloroid they insist on taking on the spot.
I pulled myself together and Fiddledaddy drove me into Orlando. The callback went fine, and I know this because I did not throw up or soil myself.
And they let me keep my plastic cup of orange juice.
As I mentally replayed everything I could have done better in my head, Fiddledaddy reminded me of another callback factoid. You have to LET IT GO once you exit the building. Which is true. But difficult, if you’re dealing with OCD tendencies. I was awfully proud of myself for getting a callback, and that’s what I’m holding onto.
That and my beloved Chi.
If anything comes of it, I’ll let you all know. For now, my mantra is out of sight, out of mind, said while sticking fingers in my ears singing my happy song.