I have to admit, there are creatures I fear more than frogs.
It would be the birds.
I mean, DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE?
Recently when I went home to Texas to visit with my family, I had the unique experience of dining with their pet birds at the breakfast table. My dad and step-mom have 3 birds that they treat more like children than feathered carriers of disease and pestilence.
They release a bird at a time to fly willy nilly throughout the room. Whenever a bird flew in my general direction, I would quickly cover my face, MY EYES MY EYES.
This amused my family to no end. They assured me that the birds only wanted to make friends with me. RIGHT. Just before they pecked my retinas out. NO THANK YOU. Then there was also the issue of a bird landing on my head or shoulder. And I’ll tell you right now that these birds WERE NOT HOUSEBROKEN.
My dad and step-mom thought nothing of walking about with bird droppings dripping from their shoulder. The first time I witnessed this, my eyes rolled to the back of my head, but I did not allow myself to black out, because just as sure as shootin’, one of those mangy birds would have landed on my lifeless body.
The birds were also allowed to traipse about on the kitchen table. My father, who once grounded me for drinking milk from the carton, demonstrated how his bird would eat oatmeal FROM HIS SPOON. And then my father went on to continue his breakfast, WITH THAT SAME SPOON.
I may never recover from this particular visit.
This memory was vividly brought back to me today when we spent a portion of our afternoon at the beach. And before my northern friends begin lobbing vegetation at me because we are enjoying 83 degree weather today, I DID NOT ENJOY MYSELF.
First of all, we did not take into account the fact that there is WIND at the beach and it would be rather CHILLY. Secondly, I forgot about this favorite past time enjoyed by my son and nephews.
Imagine how difficult it was to capture this Kodak moment while holding my hands over my eyes.