Let it snow, let it snow

I woke up this morning in San Antonio, and looked out the window to see this.

I called Fiddledaddy to tell him, and he suggested that I go outside and have someone take a picture of me making a snow angel.  I reminded him that there was no one in this house who was physically able to get me up off the ground, and I didn’t want to become a snow statistic.  Especially since all the roads were shut down, and not even the emergency vehicles were making house calls.  So I asked my dad to take the following picture.

First of all, let me say a little something about my appearance.  When I’m home visiting with my dad and stepmom, and it’s snowing outside so there is little chance of visitors dropping by, I DO NOT WEAR MAKEUP.  Nor do I bother with hair care.  Especially since the use of a hair brush, only gives rise to an Afro, thanks to snow induced static electricity.  Secondly, I realize that I look like I’m constipated.  I’m not.  My dad, the photographer, is legally blind, so while attempting a smile, I was making like a ventriloquist, “DAD, I’M OVER HERE!”

My kids are never going to forgive me for not bringing them, as they have never seen real snow.  To appease their disappointment, Fiddledaddy had to go into Orlando for a commercial audition, and then he took them to Typhoon Lagoon (a Disney water park).

When I Skyped them later, Emme recounted how she lost her tooth while swimming with the sharks.  The siblings pretended that they did not know her and swam far far away, knowing that sharks are attracted by ALL THE BLOOD.  There was no loss of life, but there was a loss of tooth.  She wondered if the Toothfairy’s able assistant (Fiddledaddy) would leave the requisite dollar if there was no tooth to show for it.  I assured her that the assistant to the Toothfairy would know that she was good for it.

She also lost a different tooth yesterday, so the Toothfairy’s assistant has been very busy indeed.  I think she’s yanking teeth out just for the cash.  Tonight I fear he will have to leave 2 quarters and a roll of pennies under her pillow, as I left with most of the dollar bills.

After I finished the call to my little lonely family, my stepmom asked me if I’d like to get waxed.  

My heart stopped as I looked for the closest exit out into the snow.  WHAT?  She explained that she had a paraffin bath that you can dip your hands in to ease joint pain.  WellthankGod.  How big is it?  I have a lot of joint pain, what with all this cold.

I’ll just leave you with the mental image of me getting waxed.  And try to have a fabulous weekend anyway!

February 4, 2011

8 Responses to Let it snow, let it snow

  • Now it makes sense that when I talked to FD, he stated in full sarcasm how “under control” everything was today.

    But, be assured I heard no screaming or other interesting noises in the background.

    And, I guess he sensed my “wintercold2011Imaynotsurvive” when, having given him the wonderful news to pass on, he asked, “That IS good news, right”.

    Poor FD. A child abandoned by her siblings on fear of death, the drive home from Orlando, and some strange medicated woman calling with life altering news.

    Who sounds like her dog just died.

    Well, enjoy your trip, darlin’. I promise not to call again til you get home.

    Hopefully, the amphibs leave the fam alone in your absence.

  • I wasn’t sure if she was talking about booze or unwanted body hair. Waxing away joint pain sounds much better.

  • Being a totally unphotogenic person, I think your picture is great! Although…you’ll be kidded about the amount of snow that fell. 😉

    My granny in NC used to put snow in a bag in the freezer so we Florida kids could see it. I always wondered if she scooped some up, or just scraped some off the top of her ancient freezer. Of course, you could get a bag, put some water in it when you get home and tell the kids it melted…

    Good luck to FD! I have confidence in his survival!!!

  • It is fantastic when someone miles and miles away can make you laugh like a crazed person all by yourself in front of this glowing tube with tears running down your cheek!! I loved this post! Made my day.

  • This is one of my all-time favorite posts of yours. The laughter? It was good!

  • Thank you for Monday morning giggles!

  • So glad you got snow! Loved the photo of you – you look great and slim! I hope you enjoyed getting waxed! Sounds nice.

  • OK thank you for the mental picture of you trying to sumerge your entire body into a waxing pot! Have a great time and stay warm.