It was not my intention to cause such a ruckus on my Friday post. Pinky swear. I intended to tell the whole audition story, and even my own fingers fell asleep from the typing of ALL THE WORDS, BECAUSE I AM APT TO GILD THE LILY. And the disclosure about Fiddledaddy’s work and how it keeps me in the manner to which I’ve become accustomed? I was just so excited that he let me even SAY what he did that I did not think it through and I dangled SUCH A BIG CARROT.
Now let me commence with damage control.
The commercial audition that I went out on was for a product which is sort of like a bouquet of flowers, only you can eat it. And frankly, that fact alone captured my interest. I was to play an office worker. They were going to be casting a few different spots, so Fiddledaddy went also as an office worker, and my girls went dressed as though they were going trick-or-treating. Hence we had to pull together a costume. While swearing to them that other kids were going to be dressing up as well.
I went with the little suit that I talked about last week. And since I’ve not had time to procure the Spanx that you all spoke so highly of, I had to wriggle myself back into the too small control top pantyhose. That threatened to rob me of valuable oxygen every time I sat down.
And what luck, I had to sit down for the entire 1 hour drive to the audition. In the back of the van. So I could tutor my 11 yo in English during the drive. My heartfelt apologies to the neighbors directly adjacent to the opening of the van, who saw far more of me than anyone should ever see and not go blind.
I have to say that the most difficult part of the audition process was that I had to climb a rather long flight of stairs to reach the office. I still cannot negotiate stairs. So I just strategically positioned my children behind me should I lose my footing.
When I finally arrived at the landing, an hour or so later, I discovered that the office worker category had been cut, and now I was to be a regular mom, giving her daughter this edible arrangement at her Princess party. In my head, my motivation was that I was a WELL DRESSED mom, who had to work TWO JOBS to pay for the princess party. While at the same time going to night school to earn a law degree. Mine is a fertile mind that should never be left to wander.
I was paired up with 4 little princesses, and we all had a fine time and not one of us threw up on our suit. Fiddledaddy was paired up with his own daughters (a cheerleader and a Cowgirl), plus a stray son dressed as a Ninja. Jensen was not old enough for the role, and was just as content to sit on the naugahyde couch in the waiting room while playing his Nintendo DS.
The acting bug has not bitten him. He still wants to be a Plumber when he grows up.
Afterwards, we all trouped down to the van. And going down the stairs is far easier than going up, so I made record time. And no one was harmed in the process. Once we got settled into the van (I was riding shotgun) I quickly took off my suit jacket. And then much to my childrens horror, I also took off my skirt and pantyhose. Like I’ve never done THAT in public before. And then I slithered into my well worn and comfy yoga pants for the long trip home.
Fiddledaddy is used to me, but the children were suitably embarrassed. I live for those moments. And then while they composed themselves and enjoyed a snack before heading out, I spied a guy getting out of his car across the parking lot. He was obviously an actor, as he came dressed in some sort of samurai warrior type of outfit, replete with a very real looking sword.
I whispered to Fiddledaddy, “Didn’t anyone tell him that only the kids were to dress up.” He just shrugged. And then for the next 10 minutes, were treated to what I can only describe as an episode of An Actor Prepares. He stood in the parking lot having an imaginary battle, thusly producing his sword.
I locked the van.
He then took a break to chat on his cell phone. I wondered if anyone was really on the other end. Cailey was mortified as I snapped this picture. I wanted to capture the sword play, but I was never quick enough.
I remember many years ago when I was working on a set, there was an actor who LOVED to rehearse. LOVED LOVED LOVED to rehearse. And when he ran out of people to rehearse with, he rehearsed with a tree.
As I relayed this story to my children, my daughter reminded me, “Um, Mom, the other day I caught you talking to the grill.” True, and it wasn’t a very pleasant conversation, either. But I’ve never possessed the lack of inhibition that it takes to rehearse with a tree, or have imaginary sword play in the middle of a parking lot.
Perhaps that’s why I never made it to the BIG TIME. Whatever the big time is.
Anyhoo. It was a very fun experience that got us all out of the house. The thing about commercial auditions is, though, that you may have to audition for at least 25 of them before you ever book even one. I don’t know if there will be a callback for this particular commercial. (A callback is when the producers narrow the number of actors down, and ask to see you again.) The healthiest way to handle the whole thing is simply to audition, have fun doing it, and then forget about it. But I will of course be documenting the experience on the world wide web.
If I should really start to go out on auditions again, I know that it will make for some very fun blog fodder. Which I so look forward to, as I am more than a little weary about talking about being sick.
Now, I’ve been allowed to throw out a wee bit more information about Fiddledaddy. He does do commercial work, but he also does television and movies. I can tell you that he’s been on a few episodes of CSI Miami, and most recently he made a guest appearance on Burn Notice.
The reason for all the secrecy, is that my husband is an intensely private man. Which is interesting since he married a woman who lives life OUT LOUD. And we’ve had to come to some compromises about that. Another reason for the secrecy is so that we can protect our kids. Really, I’ll try not to be so mysterious from now on.
Happy Monday, everyone!