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By the seat of my control top pantyhose

A few months ago, a friend of mine gave me some gorgeous tops and an Ann Taylor suit, petite, size 8.  At that point my size was still in the double digits, and just never you mind what that number was.  But my friend must have known something that I didn’t.

The tops I could wear, but the suit wrapped in plastic, hung along side other abandoned clothes on the I Wish I Wish side of the closet.  As I’ve been mentioning 4 or 104 times in the last few weeks, a side affect to my changing my diet and fighting Lyme Disease has been that I’ve now lost all of my baby AND self-pity weight.  To the tune of nearly 25 pounds.

I mentioned my weight loss to my doctor on the phone on Friday, and he said that yes, healthy eating certainly contributed, but the majority of my weight loss in his opinion is due to the Lyme Disease dying off and exiting me.

Because, what luck, not only does Lyme Disease rob you of mobility, cognitive function, and sleep, it also can aid in weight gain.  (And so can eating columns of Ritz Crackers.)  The disease can also live among the fat cells, which is a lovely thought.  Then you generally have issues with yeast and metabolic and endocrine dysfunction, and there you have the perfect storm.

This is making sense to me, since a good deal of my weight loss has occurred in the last month, as I’ve been going through treatment.  With pretty much no effort on my part.

Anyhoo, on Sunday before church, I was eying that little suit hanging there all alone.  I wonder…I fished around in my underwear drawer seeking a pair of pantyhose.  I can tell you that it has been at least a year or more since I’ve attempted to wriggle myself into a pair of pantyhose.  Mostly because my knee was not known to bend, and try putting on a pair of pantyhose without bending your knee.  And with only one arm.

I dare you.

Sadly, this particular pair of pantyhose was of the control top variety.  Not that I have anything against control top pantyhose.  Quite the contrary.  I’ve been known to sport TWO PAIR of control top pantyhose if it meant that I could avoid the muffin top.  And if you’re a woman, you know of what I speak.

I knew that it would take herculean strength to get myself into this pair of pantyhose.  As they had obviously shrunk since I placed them in the drawer some decade ago or so.  I may have dropped another dress size during this attempt.

After completing that assignment, I gathered all of my courage and unveiled the suit.  I put it on.  Everything zipped and buttoned where needed.  I slipped on my flat dressy Crocs, because heels and even pumps are likely dead to me forever.

Then I caught sight of myself in the mirror.  The old gray mare?  She ain’t what she used to be.  I felt SMOKIN’ HOT.

Well, literally, what with all the hot flashes and such.  But I was not going to let that stand in my way.

I let my family admire me as we filed out the door to head to church.  The only sticky situation that I had to negotiate was the actual sitting down in my control top pantyhose and size 8 PETITE suit.  And the climbing into the van while maintaining what little dignity I have left.

Breathing really is over rated.  I found that if I took more shallow breaths, I was less likely to break free from my new suit.  And during church I could stand in praise, and if sitting was ever a problem, I could just stretch out on the pew.  No one really pays attention to my antics anymore.

I was very proud of myself.  And no, I didn’t have to go all prone on the pew.  It’s nice to wear girl clothes again.  A whole rack of fashion possibilities has opened up to me on the other side of my closet (that does not include my husband’s wear) because I’ve been able to ditch the leg brace plus a few dress sizes.  I should have gotten Fiddledaddy to take a picture for show and tell.  I’ll have to do that.  Except that I set the control top pantyhose on fire so that I’d never be tempted to wear them again.

I’ve had a question come up a couple of times of late concerning the controversy surrounding the diagnosis and treatment of Lyme Disease.  Very understandable, as it is rarely tackled in the media.

If you ever have the chance, please see the award winning documentary, “Under Our Skin”. I’ve included the extended trailer.

This documentary put everything in perspective for me.  And I sat watching it with tears streaming down my face, knowing that the director really captured what happens with Lyme Disease and why.  And he also tackles and explains the controversy and what the Lyme literate doctors face day to day.  I understand that PBS may be airing it in May, and I’ll put a big old reminder on a post should that happen.

Also, this 2004 article by Dr. Scott Taylor does a great job explaining Lyme Disease.  He is a Lyme literate doctor with a passion for getting the word out about testing and treatment.  It’s long, but the first few paragraphs do a good job with an overview.

Now that I’m back in girl clothes, anybody want to recommend a brand of control top pantyhose that won’t try to kill me?  And don’t tell me to just go up a size, because I have far too much pride for that.

11 Responses to By the seat of my control top pantyhose

  • Way to go with the weight loss! Thank heaven for that blessing among all the obstacles this past year. It is a very cool benefit! Can’t help you with the pantyhose though, I haven’t worn a pair in at least 8 years. Luckily, in AZ, I haven’t seen a pair on anyone under 60 in almost that long as well. LOL. It’s bare legs everywhere here and I’m finally okay with that! Try it, I dare ya. 😉

  • You were totally SMOKIN HOT yesterday and I didnt have to touch your skin to tell!!! You looked fabulous from afar and I will tell you up close it was even better because it reached your eyes!!! I hope it was a major turning point for you because from the outside WOW! lookout world Fiddlemommy is right back in the game and better than ever!!!!

  • Congratulations! And thank you for the links regarding LYme: if we ever suspect anyone n our family has it,I will be right on all of those.

    I needed something tummy taming for my son’s wedding last June and found some Spanx high waist pants I liked. I got a size large enough that they were not tight, but they smoothed the whole tummy and waist area, eliminating all muffin tops. They are reminiscent of a silky bathing suit material , no panels etc.

  • Wow DeeDee, I can’t believe all the misdiagnoses out there. Can you believe how many potential people are out there “walking” around with something that could be cured? Wow, have you ever thought about doing the today show or GMA? 🙂 Seriously…..
    What a neat feeling to fit into a little dress!!!!! Good for you, sorry you had to get sick to do it, but a nice side effect!

  • You really did look great Sunday! I was going to tell you that but got distracted with my kiddos….

  • It’s not fair!! Not fair at all. I’ve lost 25 pounds (over the past 9-10 months..it has been a looonnnggg haul) and I’m still wearing the same stupid size. ARGH. Not fair for me but GOODY for you!!! I’ll post a before and after picture if you will. 😉

  • Do you have TJ Maxx there? They have Spanx there at a much cheaper price and, even better, they have some knock-off brands that are just as good as Spanx. I love them! I got a slimming camisole that I wear a lot that is great under any top. And I also got some shorts that hold everything in nicely under slacks! Actress Julie Bowen said her secret to staying in shape is “I lift children for the upper body, I run for the lower body, and for the middle I wear Spanx. That’s it — that’s my three-part system.” Congrats on your weight loss!!!!

  • Wow…that video was amazing. So sad that this disease is so devastating, yet so misunderstood. Thank you for all you do to put a “face” to it.

    Love your humor. You always make me giggle.


  • Skip the pantyhose. Go spanx!

  • A size 8!! Smokin!!! Great for you. I’m so happy. Doesn’t it feel great to pull things out of the back of the closet and put them on. Better yet is HAVING to go shopping because you really have nothing to wear! Go girl.

  • Good for you! I am a big Spanx fan too!