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Fit as a Fiddle

I’ve been feeling my oats lately, what with my crutches, leg brace, and wheelchair all gathering dust.  And in the last few days I started talking smack about how I couldn’t wait to get back to the gym.

So Thursday afternoon Fiddledaddy kicked me out of the house with my gym bag.  Followed by a few parting words.  Something about not overdoing it, blah, blah, blah.

It should be noted that the folks at the gym have not set eyes on me in many months.  The last time I was there, I sported the leg brace and crutches, and the most I could manage in the form of exercise was pushing the button on the elevator, and 10 minutes on the Nu-step machine with all the old people.

I pulled into the parking lot and made the decision that I was NOT going to park in my customary handicapped space.  Mostly because my handicap hanging thingie (a medical term) was in the van.  And I was not.  But still, I would not have used it even if it had been with me.

I walked in with only the slightest of limp, unfettered by crutches or a brace.  When I entered the lobby, I wanted to jump up and down, wave both arms up in the air and shout “LOOK AT ME JUMPING UP AND DOWN!”  But I didn’t see anyone that I knew, or that I knew would care, and frankly I feared being escorted back outside by security before I even had a chance to, you know, work out.

And besides, I honestly haven’t attempted the jumping up and down business.  I did almost jump, however, when it was reported to me by my daughter, the entomologist, that a wasp was loose in the house.

I grabbed a can of wasp spray and murdered the alleged wasp on the wall.  And by the way, wasp spray will remove paint from the wall.  In case you were wondering.  And also by the way, it wasn’t a wasp.  I’m pretty sure I would have made less of a mess if I had just shot the thing with a rifle.

Where was I?  Focus. The gym.  After I had secured my possessions in the locker, using the same pad lock I used in high school (which yes, is now an antique), I headed upstairs to the workout area.  And by headed upstairs, I mean that I did NOT take the elevator, I really headed upstairs.

But by the 3rd step, I realized that I had just made a grave error.  If my knee could talk, it would have said something like OH NO YOU DIDN’T.  And instead of turning around and taking the 3 steps back down and heading for the elevator, I continued the long arduous climb up the stairs.  Keeping my left leg straight.  Try that sometime.  While holding your water bottle, towel, and iPod.  There’s your workout.

It took me 45 minutes to get up those stairs.  Well.  Maybe not 45, but A LOT OF MINUTES.  The old people with oxygen tanks were passing me on the left.  MOVE IT SISTER.

I was just like Sylvester Stallone ascending the stairs.  In Rocky XVII.

When at last I made it to the landing, I headed for my old faithful Nu-Step machine.  Because I was certain that at least I could manage that.  Ten minutes on the Nu-Step and I was feeling cocky again.

So I headed over to my very old favorite Elliptical Machine.  I haven’t been on that in over a year.  Not since this whole medical odyssey began.  I stared at it for a minute or two, and thought that I’d just climb aboard, just to see how it felt.  And then I thought I’d just get it going a little.  And I did.  Before long, I was going along at a pretty good clip.  I could hear Fiddledaddy’s voice in my head, over the iPod blasting AC/DC (don’t judge me), DO NOT OVERDO IT. So I stopped at 5 minutes.

I had a bit of trouble maneuvering the descent, but managed by putting both feet on the left foot peddle and easing myself down.  That move could have proven catastrophic, but somehow I did it without taking anyone else down with me.  Domino style.

Time for the weight machines.  I did a few leg presses and the one that stretches your calf because you have weight on your shoulders.  I really should be a physical trainer, what with my vast knowledge of workout machinery.

Then I thought I’d give the upper body a little attention.  I was really excited about this, because up until 2 weeks ago, I had no use of my left arm at all.  Couldn’t scratch my head, nothing.  And all that lack of use has given me a little turkey waddle where my biceps have fallen.  I did a couple of machines.  My favorite upper body machine is the V-pull down.  Sadly, after 1 pull, my left arm said pretty much what my knee said to me earlier. But with a curse word or two.  I ended my workout with some free weight curls, to the tune of 5 pounds.

Then I took the stairs down.  NOT. I pushed the down button on the elevator. I may be stubborn, but I am not stupid.

I walked a bit more slowly back out to the car.  Wishing I had parked in the handicapped space after all.  By the time I got back home I was in full limp.  And I dreaded those words that I was destined to hear.


Moderation.  It is not my gift.

I’m not dissuaded, this is not a set back.  It has just made me even more determined to get back in the saddle.  My goal is to get to the gym 3 times a week.  And I’m looking long and hard at a Yoga class.  I may need a fork lift to get me up from downward dog, but I ain’t skeert.

Have you guys ever heard of a workout program called Nia Dance?  It is a form of dance/exercise that is centered around sensory movement.  An old friend of mine is involved in it in a different part of the country.  I am fascinated by the concept.  We don’t have anyone here in Equator, Florida who offers such a thing, but I’m keeping my ear to the ground hoping that someday it does come here.  I think I would like it far more than Zumba.  Zumba makes me feel uncoordinated.  And old.

Anyhoo.  What is your workout routine this year?

(Oh, and btw, Fiddledaddy took the offensive video back to the library for me.  He’s also not afraid to purchase feminine products for me, either.  Just in case you were wondering.)

Have a great weekend!

19 Responses to Fit as a Fiddle

  • Congrats on getting back to the gym!! Those first few weeks will be hard and then I’ll bet it starts making you feel so much stronger that you’ll be itching to go!!

    One of the classes my gym does is Piyo. It’s a combination of Pilates and yoga. So it’s not cardio, but rather stretching. It feels wonderful.
    But to be honest, my two favorite classes there are cycling and total body conditioning. Both beat my butt, but make me crawl back for more.
    I can’t remember if you’ve posted that your gym does pool classes, but that would be a great way to ease your knee and arm back into the swing of things. At least for the first few weeks as they adjust to the workouts again.
    Good luck to you and I’m so glad to hear you’re back in the saddle. I’ve been rooting for you all along and I can understand your stubbornness. I would be just like that!

  • I would suggest something like water aerobics to get started. It doesn’t sound like much of a work out but trust me, it is! And it will be easy on your joints – arm/knee – to get back into the swing of things. You can alternate that with weights/machine workouts.

  • Good for you! Amazing! Hope you’ve recovered after a good nights sleep!
    Hee Hee, Fiddledaddy’s a good guy.
    I am currently doing “Jillian’s 30 day shred”. I am so determined to get down 3 dress sizes quick, quick, quick! I’ve been working out since Sept.(which is completely amazing to me ) with Leslie Sansone and Kathy Smith and I wanted to try to bump it up some. So anyway have a great day!

  • Awesome! Who knew any of us would ever be excited about the ability to work out?! This is a huge milestone–and I am so happy that you were able to do this. You are on your way back, girl!

  • HAHAHAHA! All I want to know is, did you put the money in the jar when you got home? And did you have to put in more for your response to Fiddledaddy when you walked in the house?? 🙂

    SO glad you are feeling better!

  • I just ran several miles this morning listening to Heart. I understand the AC/DC. 🙂 The “turkey waddle” made me laugh. And that’s some husband. I would never send mine for those products, though, because I’m too afraid of what he would end up with! Just the other day, I saw a man in his 30s standing in front of the row of pink boxes holding a list and looking completely baffled (and very embarrassed). This lady he didn’t know was looking at the list and trying to point out and explain what he needed. Funniest. Thing. Ever.

  • “And also by the way, it wasn’t a wasp. I’m pretty sure I would have made less of a mess if I had just shot the thing with a rifle.” Hilarious! And your story about the workout was priceless. It was a great laugh! Thanks! I’ve been running on the treadmill in our basement and it is b-o-r-i-n-g. But better than my workouts in previous years which was non-existant.

  • Congrats on getting back into the gym!

    Water aerobics is a great workout and easy on the joints. Our local YMCA does a combination pilates/yoga/tai chi workout that is great and easy on the joints, too. (Plus, they keep the lights down low so I don’t have to look at the 20 year olds who can bend themselves into a pretzel . . .)

  • Loved the entire story! You make me laugh out loud!!! I agree with the others, water aerobics is great and easy on the body. Take it slow (I know that is hard for you to do). I have the same problem. My work out is walk (when the temps are above 40 degrees – who am I kidding, above 50 degrees!), ride the stationary bike, free weights, and dance with the Wii. Not all on the same day mid you, but that is what I do.

  • Your post cracked me up, DeeDee. I now have a visual of you taking out the wasp with a rifle.

    For the first time in my life, I actually have a “workout routine” LOL. It’s been about 6 months and I LOVE it! My workouts are first thing in the morning. It is the only way I’ve ever been able to regularly work out. I do a full body weight routine 3 days a week along with light cardio. On the other 4 days, I do an hour of cardio with no lifting. My goal for this year is to try yoga and possibly a strength class too.

  • Did you try out for Ratatouee (or however one spells that)? You know, that part where the lady tries to take out the rats with her rifle? That’s what I’m picturing here. LOL.

    My workout? Workout? Vacuum. Wash dishes. Scrub the bathroom. Maybe wash a window or two. And…run up and down the stairs eighteen hundred million times a day putting the toddler back into his bed.

  • The thing about ‘don’t over do it’ {which I hear all the time from the amazing Rocket Man} is that unless I overdo it, I don’t know where that boundary is. So I must do what I think I can do to find out if I’ve overdone it. Right? That’s my story, anyway, and I’m sticking to it. I’m glad you felt well enough to go to the gym. Must feel great, even if you are sore later.

  • Congrats, DeeDee on getting back to the gym! I am pretty sure that no one has ever had to tell me not to over do it when it comes to working out! Good for you!!

  • My gym membership ran out in November. My workout plan is to force myself to walk on the treadmill (I would prefer to run but my hip says otherwise) while revisitting good tv in the form of Alias. We have all the seasons on DVD. I’m hoping watching Sydney Bristow kick butt will inspire me to the same. 3 times a week is my goal also, and on the other days I might do a sit up or push up or two.

  • Hi sweet friend! I have been so busy lately with LIFE, holidays, trips, etc. that my blog visits have been limited, but I think I’m finally getting to a point where I can get back to normal. (Whatever normal is! LOL) I’ve had fun catching up a bit with you tonight.

    I’m so happy that you’re feeling well enough to return to the gym. I agree with Fiddledaddy…take it easy. But a big Yeah!

    Have a wonderful weekend,

  • Fiddledaddy is definitely a keeper.

    Woo hoo! Good job going back to the gym. Even better, you went unfettered and free. That is something worth getting your praise on!

    I started running this week. I plan on running three times a week and as soon as Mt. Snow has left my area (around July) I will add three days of jumping on the trampoline to my exercise routine.

  • Fiddledaddy is a stud, but you already knew that. I’m actually starting Weight Watchers for the first time in my life at the recommendation of my new cardiologist (first stress test on Monday, and have I been working out consistently in the past 2 months? Nooooo!) who wants me to lose at least 20 lbs . . . I’ll get right on that, as soon as I’m done being violently ill from food poisoning or a virus, take your pick. ANYWAY, (you’re not the only one with focus problems), delighted to hear you’re back at the gym and so mobile!!

  • Not to get off subject, but I seen Patricia Heaton on a talk show last night, she looks great. I think she might have had some “work” done. She looks different, but not. Anyway, I know from your blogs that you knew/know her from way back when. Keep us laughing. Great to know you are getting better.

  • You have progressed, so nice to read you are physically gaining strength. Your humor is intact by the way always good reading here. Thanks for sharing