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Giving myself a hand

Just as soon as I mentioned that at least I wasn’t getting worse last week, I got worse.  I’ve lost more use of my left arm and hand.  And WHAT LUCK!  I’m left handed.  I had a couple of days that I couldn’t use my left hand to lift an eating utensil to my mouth.

Now, you might suggest that I simply switch hands.  But when an attempt was made, I simply got more food up my nose than in my mouth.  

Making the morning breakfast with cereal more festive than usual.

And frankly, I don’t understand this phenomenon.  Since I’m a fantastic bowler, using my right hand.  I also throw with my right hand.  Although, for the sake of full disclosure, my children seldom ask me to play toss with them.  Since I’m a rather lousy aim.  Even in the best of health.  When tossing a water bottle to the children in the cheap seats at the back of the van, I’ve on more than one occasion beaned an offspring in the head.  They don’t ask for water bottles very often…

I’m grateful that I can still write, and more importantly, TYPE.  Because I’m able to rest my wrists on the keyboard pull-out thingy (fancy computer term), my ability to work on my computer has not been affected at all.

I simply attribute that to God’s grace.

The other morning, I laid myself back down on my bed, allowing tears to flow freely into my ears.  Unbeknownst to me, Fiddledaddy was at the same time praying that I find comfort, because he was unable to communicate the right words to stop the tears.

A few moments later the phone rang.  I didn’t want to answer it, but my daughter brought the phone to me and pressed the green button.  Signaling that I must talk.  Or appear stupid to the person calling.  On the other end of the phone was my best friend, Kathy.  We hadn’t spoken in a good while, and she said that I had been on her heart all morning.

Tell me that God does not work in mysterious ways.

Before long, my tears were dried, and I found myself giggling in such a way that only Kathy can encourage.  We have a nearly 30 year history together, and whenever we talk, the topic will generally disintegrate into tales reliving the insanity of our early 20’s.  That always cheers me up.  Mostly because I’m grateful to have escaped that time of my life generally unscathed.  Kathy and I live on completely separate coasts now, and have for the last 12 years, but no matter how much time goes by, I can hear her voice on the other end of the phone, and it’s as if I saw her just yesterday.

She’s a blessing to me.  And an answer to my sweet husband’s prayer on that tear stained morning.

As we chatted, I told her about some of the silver linings to my disease.  First, there’s the handicapped parking decal, that nets me an awesome parking space at Disney World.  And the fun amusement ride that involves me riding in a wheelchair, while my children attempt to mow down park patrons and various shrubbery.

And of course there’s the weight loss.  Which now has totaled 18 pounds.  Woot.  And as we spoke, it occurred to me that at some point last year, I had asked God to help me in my plight to lose weight.  What with my lack of will power and all.

Well.  That caused a new rash of laughter.  Because you know how when you ask God for something like, well, patience?  He seldom will make your life easier, but rather give you circumstances to stretch you, forcing you to find the fortitude to ACQUIRE PATIENCE.

I stopped asking God for patience a good while back.

Now I’m not saying that God has allowed me to have this disease so that I could drop a dress size.  Or three.  Because I’m certain He has far more important lessons in store for me during this trial.  It just struck me as funny.  

God does answer prayer.  It’s just that sometimes the answer is NO.  Or something very unexpected, that is a far greater blessing than we could have ever imagined.

But still.  I don’t think I’m going to be asking for assistance in the weight loss department any time soon.

My fervent prayer this week, is simply that my doctor’s office receive all of the results for my tests prior to my Wednesday appointment.  (And I’m leaving the whole patience thing out of it.)  🙂

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week, everyone!  Posting may be light this week for me, because OH MY WORD, IT’S THANKSGIVING WEEK!

17 Responses to Giving myself a hand

  • Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you this week as you hope to hear something definitive from the docs on Wednesday. I read this quote from Beth Moore last week….’What.are you going to do with what you are going through?’ From my perspective you are walking through this with grace and giving Him the glory. That is encouraging to me and so many others! Thank you for letting us in on your journey. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

  • I’m glad your husband’s prayer was answered:)

  • Praying for you this morning, DD. Praying you have a good day and that your test results come in before Wed. Keep looking to the Lord. You encourage me so!

  • Ah DeeDee, I’m so praying for you. So glad you have a praying husband. You really are an inspiration.

  • Continuing to pray for your healing, and that the doctors will have all of your results; be revealed the problem and the answer by God; and have it all waiting for you on Wednesday.

    God is going to bless you through this, and HE will be glorified in the end. 🙂

  • You’re so precious to all of us, DeeDee! And such an inspiration. I’ve had tear-filled hours in my life but none so justified as yours. And the lessons God has brought turned out to be so worth the agony. That’s my prayer for you, friend.
    Wendy put it so well. (See above!) I can’t do better than that!

  • Praying for all of you and greatful for your answered prayer when your friend called. A Godly blessing for sure. Have a great Thanksgiving

  • wiil be praying for you. thank you for sharing this today.

  • May I suggest a book that has been very helpful to me during times of trial? The title is A STEADFAST HEART: EXPERIENCING GOD’S COMFORT IN LIFE’S STORMS by Elyse Fitzpatrick. My cousin, who has a ministry of Christian counseling in Georgia, sent it to me; and since then I have given many copies to friends and family going through difficulties. It comes with a CD with music and readings that are so uplifting as well.

    I don’t think I have ever commented before, but I do so enjoy your posts.

  • So sorry your left hand and arm have gotten worse. Perhaps you will be able to be thankful for something from the doctor’s by Thanksgiving. Will be thinking of you.

  • Praying, DeeDee. I HATE that feeling of helplessness and sympathize w/Fiddledaddy, but praying is probably the best thing we can do for our wives.

  • I’m currently recovering from major back surgery. The kind that involves titanium products and sci fi pieces. Wait till I’m at the airport next. Anyway, your finding humor where others would find nothing but further complaints is where I’m living right now. I’m asking God to help me remember that everything passes through His hands first. And I’m asking Him to forget that whole “help me have patience” prayer—momentary lapse in sanity. You’re living the life He has given, and you’re living it in a way through this blog that brings great joy and smiles to many others, whether in similar circumstances or not. Causing my thanksgiving for you. Will pray with you in regards to those tests.

  • I’m so sorry this is such a hard thing to go through, DeeDee. I am praying for you!! I wish that I had some encouraging words to share. Hugs!!!

  • And you are left handed.

    Does it ever stop, the similarities?


    Well, my darling.

    I, too, am waiting with bated breath for your test results this week. I saw the new Dr this week, finally, and he thinks we are dealing with anything but RA. Sigh.

    Only a year later, eh?

    So, more bloodwork yada yada yada and then we wait.

    But PT is a blast. Vary brutal and aggressive. But, all for a great cause, no?

    Know there are prayers coming from over here, always. And I am just a phone call away. Always.

  • I stopped praying for patience a long time ago! God is teaching it to me right now as I had a hysterectomy last Monday and while I had the easier one I am having a hard time dealing with the fatigue and the inability to do much of anything. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have been dealing with everything you are for as long as you have.
    God does work in mysterious ways! What a great husband to be praying for you and a great friend to answer God’s prompting with that phone call. God is so good! I will be praying you get your results and some real answers this Wednesday.

    Have a great Thanksgiving!

  • Praying, praying for peace, clarity and answers. Bless you…

  • Once again you have managed to put such humor into a situation that seems unbearable. Praying for answers for you. Still giving thanks to the one great God who is the ultimate healer.