I placed a phone call to my doctor’s office on Monday, hoping above all hopes that some of my tests had come back. Sadly, the tests I’m most anxious to hear about, the Lyme and Candida tests, take a few weeks. So I have to wait until the week of Thanksgiving to know.
Since I strongly suspect that Candida is playing a largish role in all of my misery, I decided to take matters into my own hands and initiate a cleanse. After sort of perusing a book on cleansing, I began in earnest a couple of mornings ago. In this particular program, you only eat raw vegetables. With a side of air.
Now to spice things up, you can blend your vegetables, or chop them, or puree them into what you might call a soup. But absolutely no fruits or gains were allowed. The idea is that you don’t want to give the yeast anything to dine on. Fiddledaddy suggested that I might want to stay on this cleansing diet until Thanksgiving week.
I did okay the first day. By the second day, I was delirious. When I took my girls to their A.H.G. meeting, I had Jensen with me out on the church playground. A couple of other moms were there with their offspring, including one of my very good friends. Who knows me well. And knows what I’m going through and that I now lack a filter whenever I open my mouth.
I was telling her about my latest odyssey of The Cleanse, and I began the conversation with, “Fiddledaddy thinks that I have…” I slammed the brakes on. Because the word that nearly escaped my mouth was “chlamydia.” One of the more interesting aspects of my disease is my lack of ability to remember words that contain more than one syllable.
She saw the look of panic in my eyes after I finally spit out “candida” and she immediately knew what I nearly almost said in front of good God fearing church women and their children.
Which of course would have made for some interesting church fodder.
Anyhoo. Yesterday was at best, a hellish day physically. Not to mention mentally.
And as a result of the two day cleanse, my inflammation was even worse, and I couldn’t help but think seriously about eating the stucco on the house. So in total, my cleanse lasted two full days and nights, stopping just short of me enjoying my first colon cleansing enema.
Which I cannot even fathom I will ever do. Ever. Not because I think it’s such a bad thing, and I’m sure only good would come of it. But because the instructions require that you assume a position that I can’t possibly configure myself into. Given my physical restrictions. Pity.
I woke up this morning and fixed myself a nice bowl of Brown Rice Cereal with some rice milk. And I felt 100% better all day. What I’ve done instead is stock up on some yeast reducing probiotics and supplements. I’m adding Grapefruit Seed Extract, Oregano Oil, Garlic Pills, and a fiber drink that is specifically for yeast overgrowth. Which interesting tastes rather like stucco.
Way easier than starving, and then enduring an enema, in my estimation.
Besides, I already know I’m full of c***. Which I think just adds to the air of mystery about me.