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Birthday Girl

After a long exhausting day, I just crawled into bed with my baby girl, who turned 11 today.  I held her and shared with her The Story of Her Birth.  About how she was born at 1:15 in the morning, after 17 hours of labor.  And how I begged the nurse to bring me a sandwich, or a saltine, ANYTHING, because I had not been allowed to eat anything since midnight, 25 hours prior.

The nurse not only brought me a sandwich, but also a piece of chocolate cake.  Which I think that every new mother should receive after giving birth.  The only problem was, the cake and subsequent chocolate overdose may have given me a bit of insomnia.

At about 3 AM, when I was settled in my bed, recovering from just pushing a football baby out of my girlie parts, the nurse handed me my bundle of joy.  And then she left the room.  And did not return until the next day.

I passed the time by pretending to nurse this baby, but not knowing at all what I was doing.  And given the fact that THERE WAS NO MILK, well, everyone was frustrated.  When the baby tired of this game, she fell blissfully asleep.  And I was immobilized, unable to put her back in her bassinet.  The nurse call button was too far away, I could not move for fear that I’d rip out the 245 (warning: slight exaggeration) stitches needed to put my girlie parts back together because WHAT LUCK, I do not have birthing hips.  Fiddledaddy was happily snoring a few feet away, and I did attempt a few feeble “PSSSSTTTT.  HEY YOU.  WAKE UP AND HELP ME WITH THIS THING.” To no avail.

So I held my new sleeping baby until the nurse came back in.  At dawn thirty.

I decided to keep my angel with me in the room for the remainder of our stay because that’s what a good mother should do.  Right?  So the next two nights were fraught with a screaming baby, changing diapers that were FILLED WITH SOME TAR SUBSTANCE THAT DID NOT LOOK AT ALL LIKE POOP, and faux nursing.  Needless to say, by the time the nurse came to see what all the commotion was about, I was crying, Emme was screaming, and I wept to the nurse, “I have no idea what to do with him.” Him. He was a she.  I was delirious.  And had approximately 15 minutes of sleep in the last 4 days.

Let me pause to share that when the next child came along, I informed the nurse to take her away to the nursery after nursing, and not to bring her back until college it was time for her next feeding.  I also had Fiddledaddy ply me with contraband Pop-Tarts during labor.

I shared only the highlights of The Birth Story with my Emme tonight as I held her before saying goodnight.  But believe me, the entire saga was playing in my head.  Then I told her how beautiful she was, and how she made us into a family, and that she is a joy to us, and that we love her forever and ever.

And then I tiptoed from her room.  Wishing I could have a big piece of chocolate cake.  Because I think every mom deserves a piece of chocolate cake on each of her children’s birthdays.  Washed down by a glass of Choco-Vine.  I am not asking for too much.

Can I hear an amen?

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!!!!

9 Responses to Birthday Girl

  • AMEN! Did you overhear my story? It’s eerily similar! 🙂
    Needless to say, my second child spent way more time in the hospital nursery! Happy Birthday to your sweet girl. My eldest will be 12 next April! Hard to believe, isn’t it? Praying for you to feel better too!

  • Hey! If it’s not RA, can you go back to Choco-Vine? And chocolate cake? It’s vegetarian, isn’t it? I have a recipe that uses no milk and no eggs, and it’s really good. Let me know if you want it!

  • I don’t have a traditional birthing story since Kiddo is adopted but our journey was just as fraught with exhaustion, fear, worry, and stress. Oh and about $30k out of pocket. I think every parent should get cake on their kid’s birthday just for themselves! And wine!

    Happy Birthday Emme!

  • Ha! I hear you…..my littlest turns 8 today, 8! I can’t believe all the birthing saga happened so long ago….yet it seems like yesterday……

  • LOL! Very similar stories – only I set up an obstacle course in the hospital room knowing full well that if anyone came in to try and take my baby boy the size of a 3-month old….I’d be hurtin for certain. The donut ended, no pun intended (I’m a poet), up being my friend.

    With the second blessing I was all “isn’t she lovely?” And thankyouverymuch – please keep her in the nursery and where do I sleep?

    Happy Birthday to Emme. My feller just turned 12. ::weep::

  • I had a similar experience with my oldest (now 14).

    I had to have an emergency c-sections, though, so that was my reason for being trapped in the bed with a newborn. My hubby had been awake for 30+ hours and was SNORING LOUDLY on the fold-out couch. I tried the whispering and the hissing and everything I could think of. Nothing worked.

    Somehow, after so many years the details are fuzzy, I managed to snag one of his size 13s- while holding the baby and not waking her up- and chuck it at him. He finally woke up, but was confused as to why I had thrown a shoe at him.

  • I’ve always believed that the mommy should get presents and the cake they want on the childs birthday!

    Where would they be without us??? 🙂

    Happy, Happy Birthday! Enjoy!!!

  • Happy birthday and Happy Giving-Birth-Day to you!

  • AMEN! That is a beautiful story. Well, the last part, anyway 🙂 Happy birthday to Emme!