This has been a week that has particularly tested my endurance. It has certainly been one of the more painful weeks that I’ve had. Which is frustrating, because in the last 2 weeks, I’ve given up many of the things that I dearly love: dairy, wheat/gluten, and meat. Please don’t get me wrong, eating in a far healthier way has not been that difficult at all. In fact, if it weren’t for all the joint inflammation, I would say that I feel better than I’ve felt in a long while.
But, when you are trying to heal yourself from the inside out, it tends to take a good long while to clean out all of the years of fried okra, gravy, and Oreos.
And I’m not saying those things are bad at all, but in my case, when dealing with a disease of the auto-immune system, I’ve been slowly killing myself, and I had no idea.
One interesting thing that I’ve learned this week, after talking to my family doctor, is that I need to really focus on foods that are not acidic, but promote a more alkaline environment. When I am able to achieve that, this disease, whether it’s really R.A., Lyme disease, or whathaveyou, likely won’t stand a chance. This will allow my own body to be able to fight off this disease on its own.
And it just takes time.
Well. Y’all know how patient I tend to be. NOT. I want a singular pill to cure me, and I want it now.
I had hoped that Methatrexate was my magical cure, but for me, it has caused more problems, and is doing nothing for the inflammation.
Tomorrow (Friday) is the day that I have to definitively decide whether or not to discontinue my weekly dosage of Methotrexate. And I have to inform my Rheumatologist.
And hope that she supports my decision to fight this disease through natural means.
I’m quite certain that she will want me to go on a stronger medication, but the type of medication that it is, will only suppress my natural immune system even more. And there is no guarantee that it will work.
And will likely cause me to sprout warts on my nose.
(That isn’t one of the listed side affects, I’m just assuming that it will happen to me. Because I like to be different.)
A difficult aspect of dealing with my health issues has been how it is affecting my family. They stand by helplessly in the morning, and watch me struggle to put one foot in front of the other. They see me drop things in the kitchen, for no reason at all. And they, on rare occasions, are witness to my tears of frustration.
Fiddledaddy wants his wife back. My children want their mommy back. I want my life back.
Through strength that only comes from God, prayer, my husband, and my sheer stubbornness, I’ve managed to keep things plodding along here in our home. It has been important to me that my children still attend all of their usual activities, wearing clean(ish) clothes, with their bellies full of good food.
I will admit that there are days that can only be accomplished by well timed doses of pain medication.
My husband keeps insisting that I sit down and take it easy. Today I admitted to him that I’m afraid that if I stop, I’ll never get back up.
My children, while they delight in driving me to the brink of a nervous breakdown, are also my joy. Which is why I wanted to share the following with you.
Jensen, who has officially joined Awana as a Sparkie, just learned his first Bible verse in its entirety (with just one little word error, which we’re still working on). He was awfully proud of himself, and wanted to share it with us at the dinner table. Listen all the way to the end. Because it will be evident to you how the fruit of the Holy Spirit has truly touched his heart.[audio:http://www.fiddledeedee.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/John3-16.mp3|titles=John3-16]
Have a wonderfully blessed weekend, everyone!