Jensen has a suitor. And thankfully I know the family very well, and she comes from good stock. Her mother clued me into her daughter’s attraction to my testosterone laden son a while back. But really, I’ve suspected for a long time.
I believe it began one Sunday after church when our families dined together at the local Sonny’s. The two of them sat together at the children’s end of the table. I noticed that she hung onto Jensen’s every loud word, and she laughed heartily at his inappropriate dinner-time antics.
They share an Awana class together now. Yes, I may have just turned the institution of Awana on its ear by signing my son up for Sparks. I wasn’t present, but I understand from Jensen’s ever watchful aunt, that there was a bit of chasing, some attempted kissing, and then my son’s suitor announced to him that she was going to marry him.
Fiddledaddy and I were aware of what had transpired, so on the car ride home we thought we’d get his side of the story.
The Inquisitors: Jensen, what was your favorite part of Awana tonight?
Him: The gum.
Inquisitors: (adopting a new tactic) Was —– (name withheld because her mother is a dear friend and would make an excellent in-law) friendly to you?
Him: Yeah. A little bit. Well. A LOTTA bit.
Inquisitors: (sensing the desired information was close at hand) What happened?
Him: SHE CHASED ME AND TRIED TO KISS ME.
Inquisitors: On the cheek, I hope.
Him: NO, ON THE LIPS. And then she said she was going to marry me. I told her that I didn’t like all that marrying stuff.
Fiddledaddy: You can tell her that you’d like to just be friends. I had to tell your mommy that when she kept trying to kiss me on the lips when we first met.
(and let me interject to say that was not entirely true)
Him: Or I can tell her all that marrying stuff is just very gross.
There was silence in the back of the van, causing Fiddledaddy to reflect on his own 5 year old dealings with the fairer sex, “Yeah, the girls used to chase me, too.”
I’m thinking I need to step up my rehab, so I can get back into volunteering at Awana. I may need to aid my young son into keeping his heart focused on Jesus.
And his eye on the gum.