In the Toilet

I’m here to report that Jensen’s obsession with All Things Toilet has not abated.  On his last trip to Blizzard Beach (the one before this week) the most exciting thing that happened, as he reported to me with eyes shining, was that THE TOILET THERE OVERFLOWED.

So, if you can envision Fiddledaddy in a family bathroom with all 3 children, the toilet begins overflowing, 2 girls attempting to ascend the cement walls to escape, while the boy child makes a mad dash TOWARD the offending commode.

Good times.

Sorry I missed that one.

The child is still talking about it.

Last week Jensen accompanied his father to Lowes for a little Father/Son hardware store bonding.  Of course Jensen insists on visiting the toilet aisle.  Fiddledaddy pointed out a new fangled toilet for a cool $500.00, that doesn’t even need toilet paper.  It seems it shoots a little warm water upward for a nice cleansing.  I hear it’s all the rage in Europe.  But frankly, I don’t think I would want that feature at all.  Unnerving.

Jensen didn’t care for it either.  Because with the lack of toilet paper, he reasoned, it would never stop up.

I have a news flash for him.  In this house, the toilet paper is the LEAST of the toilet’s worries.

Enough said.

The other day Cailey announced to me through the closed bathroom door that the toilet had stopped up.  I tried my best to shoosh her so that her little brother would not be alerted to the problem.  But to no avail.  Clear from another part of the house he came running, THE TOILET IS STOPPED UP?  THE TOILET IS STOPPED UP?

I had to maneuver myself into the bathroom, while attempting to keep him out, and thusly avoiding the ultimate embarrassment by a certain middle sister.  Keeping in mind I had only the use of one leg, and partial use of my arms.

I managed to make it inside without Jensen attached to me, I shut AND LOCKED the door, and got things flowing again with the use of our industrial strength plunger.  All the while Jensen was lying prone, as I could hear him breathing under the door, demanding commentary for what was transpiring within.

He has to visit every single public restroom we frequent, because I think it’s something about marking his territory.  Even though I always make him go before we leave home.  And I could tell him NO, but I’m sure that one time would be the time that he REALLY needs to go, and I would then be running my errands smelling of little boy pee-pee.

No thank you.  I have enough issues.

I don’t know when and if this phase will ever come to a blissful end.  Perhaps when he gets interested in girls.  But right now girls are yucky, so I just have to maintain vast amounts of hand sanitizer in my purse and live with a boy who is obsessed with toilets.

I’ve said it before and will say it again, I know for fact that plumbers make awfully good money.  Who am I to complain?

September 16, 2010

9 Responses to In the Toilet

  • I love your postings…they are so open and honest. I will pray for your toilet issues….alas, we all have a ‘toilet’ issue of some type…..

  • Funny stuff. SO thankful you are finding some relief and improving physically. *Note- ChocoVine has a new flavor out (at least new here) ChocoVine Raspberry. I love it, I actually like it better than the regular flavor. Just FYI, if its still allowed in your new diet.

  • at least there is not a Minnie Mouse toilet…….

  • So funny! You must be feeling better and I for one am very glad about that. Is he still barking and acting like a dog? I don’t think so and this will pass as well. I think he likes toilets so much because he lives with so many woman, the bathroom is one of the few places he can be alone and “Be a big boy”! Plus this is great stuff to blackmail him with when both he and you are older and you live with him!

  • Both of my boys had to visit the restroom at EVERY public place we went to when they were little. It seems to be a boy thing, but I never had a girl so I can’t totally testify to that.

  • My 2 youngest daughters were obsessed with dogs. If truth be told, they still are. Driving down the road they spot any pooch in a car or yard, and shout out the breed and what they excel at. We do have a dog, and they beg for more, but we are a ONE dog family. I’m not sure they’ll ever grow out of it.

  • I was reading a friends blog and began reading a blog of her friends and then it snowballed…I’m not exactly sure which of the blogs I follow that lead me to yours, but it kept me laughing. Out loud! You ever go from blog to blog of people you’ve never met or even heard of?? [or maybe it’s only me that does that!?!?!?] Some find it sort of creepy…please don’t think I’m creepy! {hmmm, maybe I am and I fail to recognize the signs!} Anyway, LOVE your blog posts!

  • LOL oh Dee Dee….i feel your pain. mine dont care if the toilet overflows, their passion is the stupid plunger which at any given time will show up in any room in the house, but seems to have a special place in the KITCHEN…..arrrrghh

    on a side note…i am sicker than a dog, feel like i have swallowed a CASE of glass and it all broke somewhere in the throat region, debating stealing one of hubbys pain pills and crashing hard. let him continue to deal with the monsters
    steff

  • Yes, he will grow out of it but that is all I will say as I don’t want to tempt you to off yourself.