Fiddledaddy determined that he should load the kids in the car and aim it toward Blizzard Beach at Disney World, this morning. That way the kids could be rewarded for enduring SO MUCH TIME INDOORS while their mother has been hobbled, and the mother could get some much needed paper work accomplished.
I foiled that plan by insisting that I go too. Because who wants to stare at a mountain of paperwork, when there’s fun in the sun to be had.
I know. That doesn’t sound at all like me. But that’s how good I’ve been feeling these last couple of days. Besides, my Vitamin D count is awfully low, and FREE SUN. And no paperwork. Win-win.
I shimmied into my black sausage casing, which wasn’t as difficult as usual. I’m guessing that’s because I’ve cut out all the self-pity eating and have been sticking to my new no dairy/no wheat & gluten diet. I had to strap on the black leg brace because there would be some walking involved, but since the black brace matched the black sausage casing, I would be hardly noticeable.
Unless I should fall face forward in the sand.
And then have to call for the backhoe to pick me up.
When I arrived at Blizzard Beach, I was more than a little surprised at all the beach wear. Or lack thereof. I have indeed been living in a cave for the better part of the year. It seems that if you are over 50, more than a little overweight, and have body hair issues, you wear a speedo.
Frankly, I also was slightly amazed at the ladies with a good deal of jiggle in their wiggle wearing thongs. Or what I think was in the thong category. It could have simply been a bikini that was a good 4 sizes too small. But I was all YOU GO GIRL!
Perhaps there is a lycra shortage due to the recent lycra fashion trend. I just don’t know.
Of course you know, I was covered nearly from head to toe in my one-piece sausage casing, board shorts, t-shirt, and leg brace to round out my ensemble. I could have stripped off everything except for the sausage casing, and fallen end over end, and I don’t believe I would have caused a commotion. Which is a nice change of pace.
The children talked me into the lower key wave pool. I did leave the brace beachside, and ventured out, holding onto Fiddledaddy for dear life. He helped me plop myself into an innertube. I didn’t much care for the jostling and wave riding and such. I’ve spent a good deal of this year not wanting to be touched or jostled about, and I didn’t like the feeling of not having any control over where this thing went.
And besides, I was very busy watching the head of my young son bob about in the waves, realizing that his life vest was one size too big. All I could concentrate on was how in the world I was going to disentangle myself from my innertube and safe him from certain drowning.
Not as relaxing as I had hoped.
But then Fiddledaddy set me up on a lounge chair in some nice shade, with my iPhone, earphones, and awesomely loud music. I also brought with me a book. And if you’re wondering what’s on my nightstand these days, I’m reading Barbara Allan’s Conquering Arthritis. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE DIET. I’ll let you know what I find out and how that goes.
Fiddledaddy and offspring spent the day flinging themselves down water rides, while I rested in the shade. And uncharacteristically of me, I DID NOT COMPLAIN ONCE ABOUT ALL THE HOT, because there was a very nice comfortable breeze. And to make matters even better, I had a cooler full of healthy snacking opportunities beside me.
It was a good day to be sure.
Except for the vision of older hairy overweight men in speedos which is now seared into my brain.
Frankly, I’m a little bit afraid to close my eyes now. And now I have even more reason to look forward to our coming winter season. Floridians are notorious parka wearers when the temperature drops below 60. There won’t be a speedo in sight.