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Crab Meet and Greet

In keeping with my birthday tradition, most of the meals were eaten out.  I skipped  breakfast altogether because Fiddledaddy had scheduled a massage for me at our gym.

I was a wee bit worried about how I would negotiate the massage table, while managing my crutches and maintaining my dignity.  In the end, my dignity suffered.  BUT SO WHAT?  The massage was magnificent.  And she did, in fact, make mention that my back was a mess from all the limping, managing with a singular crutch, and STRESS.

What do I have to be stressed about?

Afterward, we loaded up the van to head to a new restaurant on the river.  Because it is insanely popular, we arrived by 11 am.  Nearly all the handicapped spaces were occupied because evidently, the elderly have deemed 11:00 am, the new noon hour.

I seem to be running with the elderly crowd lately.

Fiddledaddy and I both had our hearts set on seafood fare, despite the early hour, while the children gravitated toward the safe corndog/hamburger variety of food.

Under ordinary circumstances, I would order something deep fried.  You just can never go wrong with anything fried to a crisp in a vat of lard. Instead I threw caution to the wind and ordered the crablegs.

Claws and all.

My children had never witnessed someone actually ripping into and eating the contents of Sebastian the Crab from Little Mermaid fame.  Dipped in butter.

I thought we were going to lose Cailey.

I’m not very adept at cracking into crab shells, even though I was armed with the correct instruments of destruction.  Needless to say, claws, sea water, tendons, and shell pieces went flying everywhere.

It was a shame that I had to enjoy my delicious birthday lunch with the sounds of gagging and retching in stereo from all of my children seated about me.  Happily I was able to block them out by CRACKING THE CLAWS EVEN LOUDER, AND SLURPING DOWN THE MEAT OF THE CRAB AFTER DUNKING IT IN THE HOT BUTTER.

Oh it was enjoyable.

My children have stated for the record that they are now vegetarians.

On the way home, I pointed out a gaggle of vultures dining on an armadillo on the sidewalk.  Making note that the vultures certainly could have used the nut cracker I just had at lunch.  And some warm butter.

More gagging and retching from the peanut gallery.

I’m thinking I’m going to have to serve sea food more often.

11 Responses to Crab Meet and Greet

  • For the record, my kids go insanse if they have to wait beyond 11 to eat lunch! So we totally hang with the senior crowd.

  • I almost spewed my coffee when I laughed out loud over your children’s reaction to your dining on Sebastian from Little Mermaid. Good one!

    So glad your birthday was memorable.


  • Crab legs sound like the perfect bday lunch… for all the reasons you mentioned! Fiddledaddy sounds like a smart man to have scheduled a massage for you.

    Glad you had a great day! Hope it’s the beginning of a very blessed year for you!!!

  • You’ve got me thinking about my birthday now…hmmm…what to eat?

    We lived in Annapolis for 9 years…my kids (and all of us) love crabs and my oldest with her tiny delicate fingers can pick a crab clean with the best of them. This is the child who wouldn’t eat ketchup but she will pull the lungs out of a steamed crab. Go figure.

  • Funny… I remember my mom grossing me out with crab legs when I was about 10. I’m allergic to most things that come from the sea so I will not be able to carry on that tradition. Thanks for letting me live vicariously.

    Happy belated birthday!

  • HAHAHA!!! I can just imagine you giving an evil chuckle after pointing out the vulture. And it was a good lesson for your kids – meat doesn’t magically appear shrink-wrapped in the grocery store!

  • You crack me up! It’s fun grossing out our kids isn’t it?! Unfortunately like Homeschool Dawn I have developed an allergy and can’t eat shellfish anymore. Sigh………

    Glad you had a fun time on your birthday 🙂

  • LOL while reading your crab story I got a picture of the lobster scene in splash when the mermaid tore into it and Tom Hanks says out loud “she is very hungry” hahahaha.

  • There is no easy way to eat crab. No graceful way to plundge the meat into the warm butter and then into your mouth. So all you can do is make faces and enjoy it! Glad you did both. Hay did you get the senior discount??? sorry had to ask?

  • Love, love, LOVE me some crab legs. One of the best parts is I never feel like I’ve overeaten when I’m done. Because it takes so blasted long to eat them, and it’s so much work. Sometimes it leaves me room for some cake or ice cream. Huzzah! In college we lived about an hour from a casino that did an all you can eat seafood buffet on Tuesdays. Happy times. Not working for the little string by that claw, because there are vats more comin’, baby!

    Now I want crab.

  • Sorry I missed wishing you a happy b-day but so glad you got revenge on the spawn. Muwahahaa!

    I’m still bitter I can’t find any of that Chocovine but I would raise a bottle or 2 in your honor. If I could. But I can’t. *pout*