At dark thirty this a.m., we roused the offspring from their slumber. In all truthfulness, the two girls were already up, fully dressed, and playing quietly with their Barbies.
It was like Christmas morning, since the plan was to dump them off at Aunt Trisha’s house while Fiddledaddy and I went to my appointment with the doctor. The children would rather be hanging out at Aunt Trisha’s with their cousins than just about anywhere on earth.
And I’ve used that knowledge to my full advantage, as I’ve held it over their little heads all week that if they DON’T CEASE WITH THE FIGHTING, TATTLING, AND GENERAL BICKERING, the trip to Aunt Trisha’s was OFF.
Of course, that would be like shooting myself in the foot just to spite my knee. As it were. But they didn’t need to know that.
Fiddledaddy made it a point to make certain that I was in a pretty bad mood by the time we reached our appointed destination. He has been admonishing me during doctor’s visits past not to launch into a comedy routine, as the doctors might not take me and my plight seriously. I don’t know if you all know this or not about me, but I tend to use humor, especially inappropriate humor, as a coping mechanism.
Anyhoo. When I’m in a lousy mood, the humor is hard to find. Mission accomplished.
At one point during the exam, without warning, my doctor manipulated my knee in such a way that I came two feet off of the table. Nearly pulling a Steve Carell.
This would only make sense to you if you’ve ever seen the chest waxing scene from his movie “40 Year Old Virgin”.
Don’t judge me.
I must hasten to tell you that I’ve never seen the entire movie, only that clip. And from what I know of the film, it is highly irreverent. Even for me. So I’m not recommending it. I’m not even recommending that clip to be viewed if you’re easily offended.
I’m just saying that I came dangerously close to recreated the scene in my doctor’s office. Fiddledaddy, realizing this, nearly had to excuse himself…
So. In a giant nutshell. After reviewing all the new data: x-ray, MRI, and blood work, my doctor has concluded that I have an Edema, or bone bruise. This is a rather rare occurrence that can sometimes happen during surgery, when fluid is introduced. I already had a bone defect, but the area surrounding the defect is inflamed, and indicates the bruising within the bone.
At this point, my doctor says that he absolutely does not want to do anything invasive. And we need to leave it alone and let it heal. Which may take another 2 to 3 months.
I’ve been fitted for a fancy knee brace which will support the knee and take pressure off of the inflamed area. Thusly relieving some of the pain. And ensuring that I will have to wear my stretchypants well into the Fall.
Please tell me that leggings and oversized sweaters and shirts will be in vogue. I’m generally 10 to 15 years behind in fashion, and just for once I’d like not look like a throw back from the early 90’s.
The doctor went on to release me from Physical Therapy, but told me that I do need to keep up with some stretching, gentle cycling on the stationary bike at the gym, and light swimming.
I kept it to myself, but if he knew what it took for me to wriggle into the sausage casing also known as my bathing suit, the whole swimming idea would be stricken from the record. As it would be considered a full impact sport. Which is forbidden to me for like, forever.
I am strangely at peace with this new revelation. Rheumatoid arthritis has been completely ruled out for now, as well as infection.
I have all of my medical records together should I need to make a trip up to Mayo in the near future, but for now I think I’ll just take it easy and heal.
I can’t promise that I won’t complain now and again. That would be up on the same plane as asking for a miracle.
I cannot thank you all enough for all of your prayers and sweet messages over these last few weeks. You did more than you know by way of keeping my spirits up!!!!
Have a terrific weekend! Oh, and btw, y’all were asking me who I thought should play me in the movie? I have to vote for Bonnie Hunt…