A Blank Screen

Fiddledaddy was doing the weekly pilgrimage to Wal*Mart for me since I’m still on my stinking crutches.  He was perusing the wine aisle, and he told me that a woman stopped him and inquired, “Excuse me, but do you know of a good dessert wine?”

I kid you not.

He chuckled to himself and said, “Well, Wal*Mart doesn’t really have anything other than this cheap Port, BUT, if you stop at Publix, you’ll find ChocoVine, a dessert wine that my wife swears by.”

She gratefully said thank you, and with that, I’m guessing I have another convert.

It makes my heart happy whenever I receive an e-mail or a comment from one of you guys telling me that you FOUND THE CHOCOVINE and it now occupies prime real estate in both your kitchen and your heart.

And believe me, I’ve heard from QUITE A FEW OF YOU!  Which leads me to think that I really should begin to campaign in earnest to be ChocoVine’s  spokesperson.  I don’t believe that they actually have a spokesperson or are even searching for one.  BUT THEY SHOULD.  And frankly, a middle aged housewife would give the brand far better credibility than say, a young model type that you know only dines on one Saltine, every 3 days.

AM I RIGHT?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving along briskly.

I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen for the better part of a day and a half because I’ve been given a writing assignment that has me stumped.

I mentioned in the comments of my last post that I have a bona fide appointment to see a doctor up at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville a week from Friday.  This is in addition to the regular appointment that I have scheduled with my Orthopedic Surgeon this Friday.  He’s back fresh from a nice long vacation, so I’m hoping he can look at my blood work and new MRI with a new perspective.  And give me some answers as to why 8 weeks after the 2nd surgery I’m still on crutches, have limited flexibility, and weeping from the pain.

The trip to the Mayo Clinic is my backup plan.  I’m gathering all of my records, x-rays, MRIs, and gumption for the trip north.

The writing assignment in question is one that Fiddledaddy ordered me to do.  He wants me to document everything that has been going on with my knee since January.  Everything.  From office visits, x-rays, surgeries, tests, Physical Therapy, medication, and what I had for breakfast this morning.  (Just kidding about breakfast.  Because I have no idea what I even had for dinner 30 minutes ago.  Or if I even ate dinner.)

For someone like me, who writes about her life on a daily basis, you would think this to be an easy task.  But you would be wrong.

Because I have been instructed to stick to the facts, not meander down any bunny trails, avoid embellishment, and not include any amusing antidotes.  Oh.  And my favorite part.  Exercise brevity.

IT CANNOT BE DONE I TELL YOU.  I’m trying, I swear.  But when I began waxing nostalgic about how this all started when I was training for the Winter Olympics, I knew I was in trouble.

Everyone knows I fell off of a building.  OH, THAT IS A LIE ALSO.

I have no real idea how I ended up in the predicament I’m in.

So, I guess you might say that I have writer’s block.  Rare for me.  Since I have been known to center entire posts around an eyebrow pimple.

I’ll attempt this impossible task again tomorrow.  But don’t look for me to post it, because EVEN I’M LOSING VALUABLE BRAIN CELLS FROM ALL THE BOREDOM.

Although…maybe I could create two versions.  The one for Fiddledaddy and medical personnel in general, and then one in keeping with the spirit of this blog.

EUREKA! All of a sudden I’ve found my inspiration…

I wonder who should play me in the movie?

11 Responses to A Blank Screen

  • This is probably a total waste of a random comment, and I’m assuming that you live in south FL due to your trips to Disney, but theres an AWESOME orthopaedic surgeon in Columbus, MS, who specializes in knees. He is the team orthopaedic surgeon for Miss State University and also works the NFL combines. Just sayin, that’s not as far north as Mayo. His clinic is Columbus Orthopaedic Clinic.

  • Not surprised you have writers block about this. Suggestion: do bullets of the things you DO remember, filling in frontwards and backwards as details come to you. You don’t have to start at the beginning. Just get down something you recall well (e.g. the most recent stuff) and work from there. You can even put the bullets in proper order later.

    I don’t wish to malign your surgeon, but it would be a cold day in H – E – double hockey stick before I would let him operate on me again, if it was me.

    I do think I have to get some ChocoVine. You have me intrigued.

  • Never having seen a photo of you, and having no idea what you look like (other than the crutches), I say Reese Witherspoon. I can see her getting the personality right.

  • Deedee- I am so sorry to hear that you are still not suitably recovered from your knee. I also meant to congratulate you on the anniversary of your blog. You have been a part of my morning ritual for many years now- I think I stumbled across you by random blog on homeschoolblogger- now, each morning I get up, pour some orange juice and plop on the couch with my laptop to check e-mail and read about the going’s on in the house of Fiddle!

    As for the log of knee related incidents- you could go back on your blog and cut and paste together in chronological order- I would like to be at the Mayo Clinic though when the Doctor reads that!!!!! (Record and send to America’s funniest home videos for some major payback!!!!!)

    God bless as you look for answers.
    Heidie

  • I see someone beat me to the punch. I was going to suggest doing a search on your blog for “knee” and see where you go from there.

    And I WANT to try the ChocoVine, but when I’m driving by the only liquor store in town that sells it I usually have a mini-van full of children. Can you take kids into a liquor store? Would they figure I need the juice and give me a discount??? 🙂 And what if the pastor drove by when I was coming out???

  • I’m so sorry you’ve had such a rough time of it with your knee. I agree with others, though, that I think it’s time to move on to another doctor.

    Who should play you in the movie? I think the bigger question is: Who would YOU choose to play you??? (And why?)

    Be blessed!

  • So sorry that you are not heeling as you wanted to and that you now have writters block as well! I can’t help you with the knee but as for writters block, you might start with the up coming dr. appointments and work backwards. That helps me when I have to document something and can’t remember when and how it all began. But that’s just me – backwards most of the time. Get well soon.

  • I agree with Heidie, cut and paste from your blog! I recommended ChocoVine to some other ladies, I haven’t tried it but thought they might like it. Try to document how you’re feeling and what happened, they’ll see the “facts” and #s from the doctor’s info. I’ve found dr’s don’t really look at the info anyway, if they read they’d see how many surgeries and children I have w/o asking me!!! But Mayo might be different, I’ve heard they’re really good. 🙂

  • Who wants to write a plain old, fuddy duddy history? Not a blogger, for sure!
    And Meg Ryan should play you.

  • See, I think you should have a couple glasses of Chocovine and THEN write the story. Sure the details may not be right, but it would be way more fun to write! LOL

    **I agree with Meg Ryan to portray you. I just love her!**

  • I haven’t tried the wine yet. I’m almost afraid to ’cause there is no way that it won’t become a new addiction for me. Like I need one more. LOL

    Sure hope you get some answers about your knee.

    Hope your weekend is a good one.
    Hugs,
    Kat