When you mess with the master

My 10 year old is nocturnal.  Always has been.  It is not unusual to find her wandering about at dark thirty.  She fights sleep as though it is the most bitter of enemies.

When she first graduated to her big girl bed at the age of 3, we took to gating her into her room at night.  Crafty as she was, we soon barricaded her in using TWO baby gates, one atop the other.  Fittingly, we called it the cage.  Because she was my first born, my mind immediately wandered to the dark side as I envisioned her wandering out the front door into the dead of night.  Hence, the heightened security.

It didn’t matter that we had an alarm.  And dead bolts.  And electric fencing on all exits.  Okay, kidding about the electric fencing.  I just knew she would attempt an escape.

She began fighting me on naps just after her baby sister was born.  Which was a pity because that’s the period that I experienced NO REM SLEEP WHATSOEVER.  No sooner would I have them both down for a nap, then Emme would call to me to show me her empty sleeping pull-up sitting atop her folded pajamas, and LOOK MOM, I DRESSED MYSELF.

It was a battle I could not win.

She still resists sleep.  Which is why caffeine is not an option in her diet.  Today she uncharacteristically stretched herself out on the couch and closed her eyes while I was making dinner.

OH NO YOU DON’T, MISSY.  NO NAPPING FOR YOU.  If it wasn’t good enough for you when you were two, then you can just forget about it at 10.  I had to go over to the couch and right her.  Should even a 10 minute nap occur, precious sleep would be lost by all in the wee hours of the night.

She slinked off to her bedroom.  DO NOT GO TO SLEEP, I called out to her.

Twenty seconds later she was snuggled down into her bedding, eyes closed.

I knew this called for evasive maneuvers.

I went to the kitchen to procure a sure fire remedy for NOT SLEEPING.  The dreaded ice cube down the back.

Perked her right up.  But I wasn’t finished yet.  A few moments later, I heard her coughing and sputtering.

(insert maniacal snickering)

MOM!  DID YOU PUT SOAP ON THIS ICE CUBE????

Revenge is best served chilled.  Her dentist has warned her plenty of times that she shouldn’t chew on ice.

Maybe she should listen to those in authority.

You know what?  Motherhood really does bring me countless moments of joy.

April 27, 2010

15 Responses to When you mess with the master

  • You crack me up!! love the ice cube trick.
    steff

  • My 11 yr old is the same way. If she starts to fall asleep during the day I will try almost anything to keep her awake. She was up until 4:40 AM just the other day. She wasn’t like this as a baby or toddler tho. That was her brother. Now they are switched, he sleeps well and can nap, she is up all night if she closes her eyes for even 10 minutes just like yours.

  • LoL I’m going to file this away for the day I need to use it with one of (maybe all of) my kids.

  • Soap on the ice cube? Genius!

  • My 5 year old is just like this. We put him to bed at a decent hour or at a late hour and he’s up, literally, before the crack of dawn. I keep hoping he’ll outgrow all this nonsense, as Mama hasn’t had a full night’s rest since I was pregnant with him, but maybe not.
    I’ll remember the soap soaked ice cube for the future!!!

  • oh my word……I’m glad it wasn’t me trying to get a nap. LOL too funny.

  • My oldest is the same way. She has never been a sleeper. I can feel your pain. If she happens to fall asleep for a few minutes, she will be up into the wee hours of the morning. I love the ice cube trick. I have not tried (or thought of) that one especially the addition of the soap. I am going to have to pull that one out in case of an emergency!

  • LOL!

    Ahhhh, Sleep! My first was/is a sleeper! 2 two hour naps a day and 12 hours a night…..good thing she was first! The second would cat nap and only sleep about 9, 10 hours on a good night. They’ve kept those same habits, minus the naps!

    When cutie #2 falls asleep during the day I KNOW something is wrong!

    I’ll tuck away the knowledge of the “ice cube trick” for future reference. Never know when that will come in handy! 🙂

    btw: I had hubby put locks on the very tops of the exterior doors when the oldest started walking….she enjoyed the occasional nocturnal stroll. I was sure she would wander out into the street! I was pregnant with #2, irrational thoughts were the norm! 😉

  • Oh my gosh that is so funny! I miss my afternoon naps. I wish my kids still took them.

  • My son struggles with sleep, and a weighted blanket has helped tremendously. I made ours, but you can buy them too.

  • I was so tired with my first, who refused to nap (or go to sleep at night,) that I would go into a relatively un-dangerous room with him, close the door and bring a blanket and pillow with me. I would give him toys and then lay down on the floor and I would try to snooze for an hour or so while he played around me. I had to have a nap to function – apparently he didn’t.

  • I think our eldest are one in the same. Even down to the ice habit.
    Love reading your stuff. =)

  • Oh you’re a mean mommy! Me too! 🙂 Brilliant with the soap.

  • Now that my youngest is 10, I can admit to being a really mean mommy and tying him to his bed. I had to put him in a toddler bed pretty young, since he started climbing out of his crib, and I was afraid he would fall. But he wouldn’t stay in bed. In the middle of the night, he would get up, go to his sister’s (or my) room, crawl under the bed, and go to sleep. My biggest fear was that we would have a house fire or something, and hubby or I would go to get him, and he’d be gone.
    So I had one of those baby leash/harness deal-y-wops, and rigged it to tie him in. I took the leash part and threaded it through the harness loop on the back, and firmly attached it to the bed on both ends, leaving no slack. Then I velcro-ed him into the harness. He could roll from side to side, but not get tangled. (didn’t want to strangle him literally!) And I didn’t worry about him leaving his bed.
    Only had to put him in it once or twice. Just the threat of using it kept him there after that.
    Now if I could just get him OUT of bed these days….