Rumor of Local Library Closing

We had another incident of public nudity at the library, involving my 5 year old son.

I just thought I should report that.

I don’t know what it is about our library that makes him throw all decorum right out the window.  And as usual, his 8 year old sister was right there to draw attention to his plight.

I had the bright idea to conduct homeschool in the childrens section of our library this morning, because Fiddledaddy needed to get some work done in a quiet atmosphere.

I don’t know about your particular homeschool (my homeschooling compadres), but our homeschool is anything but quiet.  We suffer the usual MOM, SHE JUST STABBED ME IN THE HEAD WITH A PENCIL, and MOM, TELL JENSEN TO QUIT FARTING TOOTING IN MY FACE!  Fart is a bad word in our house.

So is the other dreaded F word.  Fat.  But, I digress.

Then there is the occasional ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE?  That is usually coming from my pie hole.

Ahh.  The joys of homeschooling.

So we headed to the library.  None of us hardly ever yell at one another in the library.

After we’d been there a while, Jensen announced he had to go pee-pee.  I said that I would help him.  The childrens bathroom is a one room affair that is open to the usually crowded childrens section of the library.

Before I could make it to the door (first day NOT on crutches, YEAH ME) he had dropped trow in the middle of the bathroom.  Door wide open. His sister was already in the bathroom decorating her hair, and when she noticed her brother with his trousers and spiderman underwear hugging his ankles, she began shrieking.

JENSEN, NO!  PULL UP YOUR PANTS.  PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU.  MOM!  JENSEN IS NAKED!!!!

Whoever was blissfully unaware of Jensen’s predicament, now had a front row seat.  I rushed in and closed the door as quickly as I was able.

I leaned against the wall and I prayed a little prayer.  The one that I usually draw upon in situations such as these.  “Dear God, please don’t let us get banned from the library.  The next closest one is 20 miles away, and I just don’t have it in me to make that trip.  Oh. And could you open up the floor so that I might be swallowed up?”

We emerged trying to act as normal as possible.

A little later, a sweet little girl of no more than two, took a liking to Jensen and his stuffed Mario guys that accompany him everywhere he goes.  Suddenly she looked startled, gazed up at her mother, and announced, “MOMMY, I have to go pee-pee.”

And with that, in one fell swoop, she pulled off her training diaper.  Right in the middle of the childrens section of the library.

Jensen, stood up and said in all caps, “HOLY MACKEREL!”

We all turned to look at him, AS IF.

He may have just met his soulmate.

I have heard rumors that because of budget cuts, our fair library may be closing.

Should this horrible injustice actually occur, I think we all know that it has nothing to do with budget cuts.

I’m thinking that I’m going to start adorning Jensen’s pants with suspenders.  Or staples.  Just to give me a little more lead time.  It will be so much easier than trying to break in an entire other library staff.

April 20, 2010

16 Responses to Rumor of Local Library Closing

  • Holy Mackerel, that was hilarious! 😀

  • That was awesome!

  • Laughing. HARD! (I sooooo get it!)

    I have figured out that the indignities associated with childbirth are merely a training exercise for when we have children…the kind that revel in embarrassing moments such as this post describes.

    That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!

  • In all the CRAZINESS of today I forgot to tell you my boys totally would have done the same thing! They drop their drawers all the time. Especially getting out of the pool, when my daughter’s friends are over, who don’t have little brothers. It’s an education!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    note to self: reschedule swimming over at Stacey’s….

    🙂 Jensen did that at Emme’s 9th birthday party. It was an all girl affair. And none of the other girls had brothers….this is why our boys are simpatico.

  • All I can get out is, “LOL!”

  • Dee Dee,
    have no fear. you are not alone. my middle one has dropped his drawers in public from Texas to Wisconsin….Anyone who sees a crazy mom with three little boys at least one of them naked….i will be the one who stands out with my oklahoma plates…feel free to say hi…you saw me on the internet.
    steff

  • Mothers of sons all go through this at one point or another. I think males in general tend to be exhibitionist. Just sayin’.
    Glad Jensen has found his soul mate at such a young age…..maybe they will grow up and start a nudist colony. Ya never know.

  • I’m lucky in that my son doesn’t like to be naked anywhere. But this made me laugh! I needed that after dealing with “volcano orphans” at work all week.

  • Great story. One of my younger two dropped his drawers in the church yard to pee. Immediately after women’s bible study. As all the moms were coming out. Glad they’re all moms!

  • My husband has tried and tried to convince my boys (now 6 and 7) that dropping trow in the men’s room is no longer necessary OR appropriate. To no avail, I might add.

  • Seriously. Do you not see God’s hand in your whole library adventure…sending that little girl in there AT THE SAME TIME YOU WERE THERE? He does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?

  • DeeDee, you are a delight. I love reading your posts. I think it’s because it helps me remember I’m not the only one!

  • Zach is four and has no qualms about modesty. He is perfectly satisfied to run around the house naked. If he has to go to the bathroom he’ll just drop his drawers and pull down his big boy pants. No matter where we are.

    He also doesn’t understand that there is a DOOR for a reason 😉 Let’s just say that he has flashed several house guests.

  • Duct tape. Seriously.

  • Oh my word. Things sure are exciting at your library!

    ; 0 )