Ain’t Misbehavin’

At some point in my life, I must have prayed to God to give me patience.  And God, knowing that nothing worth while should ever comes easy, gave me Jensen.

At 5 years of age, that boy is a bundle of energy and constant motion, while SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS.  ALL THE TIME. NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE. OR WHAT WE’RE DOING.

And because God, being the author of humor after all, saw fit to bless me with Jensen WHEN I WAS 44 FREAKING YEARS OLD.

Do the math. And you have my current age. And you also know what birthday I will be celebrating this year.  Only when I say celebrating, I am using that term loosely.

Add to all of this, a bum knee that precludes me from chasing after Jensen to stop him BEFORE he throws rocks at a sister in the back yard. Thusly reducing me to yelling as I assume that my voice travels faster than I do these days.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that smell travels faster than I do lately.  But, whatever.

My heartfelt apologies to the neighbors for all the yelling.  I’m not crazy.  Really.  I just sound like I’m crazy.  My husband once stage whispered to me, “Seriously, don’t yell in public. You sound like you’re insane.” Evidently since I’m easily excitable, my voice raises 4 or 5 octaves as I attempt to project.  Producing a sound that only mad dogs should hear.  Certainly not children poised on the edge of death and imminent destruction.

This morning, as I lay face down in the carpet after a morning of homeschooling and Jensen wrangling, Fiddledaddy wandered through and pointedly asked his young son, “Jensen, are you being a good boy?”

“SO FAR, DAD.”

If anyone had bothered to check with me, I would have had a different definition for the term “good.”

Then later in the day, I overheard Jensen attempt to make amends with an offended older sibling with, “SORRY CAILEY FOR MAKING YOU BLEED!”

Tonight Fiddledaddy decided that it was time to put Jensen’s loft bed up onto the furniture that it was designed to rest upon.  Placing him squarely out of my reach, and a good 5 feet in the air.  I was comfy just leaving his bed securely on the floor until he reached a mature age of LIVING ON HIS OWN.

As usual, my vote was vetoed.  After everyone is fast asleep, I will likely go and scatter throw pillows about underneath.  To break his fall.  The preventative measures are always better than yelling.  I’m about to excel in preventative measures.

And I will begin with taking down the ceiling fan from the boy’s room.  I have a sickening feeling that I’m about to enter an entirely new blogging era.

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Subject jumping, but I wanted to thank you all who stopped by and commented on yesterdays post about my mom.  I received such an outreach of love and support in comments, and also personal messages.  Some of you guys poured out your heart, and it meant so much to me.  Not only do I know that I’m not alone in my struggles, but that I am surrounded by prayer and encouragement.  I could not feel more blessed.  THANK YOU.

It is a rare day when I step out into ALL THE SERIOUSNESS, but it’s such a comfort to know that I can when I need to.  I think I’m all cried out.  Which is good, since I’ve got to keep a clear eye on the goings on around here. 🙂


March 23, 2010

10 Responses to Ain’t Misbehavin’

  • I’m 42 with a 5 year old son who thankfully is not quite so acrobatic yet. Of course he’s an only child which makes a difference. He is a handful in his own unique way though! The “sorry for making you bleed” sounds like something I would have told my little sister growing up! It made me smile & laugh.

  • Ha! I never thought of God giving me children as a way to stretch my patience. . . I thought that was stretched from all the adults that still ACT like children!

  • What, are you CRAZY?!?!
    Pillows underneath will be construed as a proper landing pad.
    Unless you plan on him hurling his body from the heights, and possibly landing NEAR a pillow, I don’t advise it.
    PS. Thanks for your post yesterday. My mom is still with me, but we have a very strained relationship. She has been known to cut people out of her life, too. She likes to keep one of her children close at a time, and rotates whomever is in her graces regularly. But since she has a bad heart, and anything we do that makes her upset or anxious is likely to kill her, we aren’t allowed to do anything about it.

  • I think our sons would get along just fine. Tell your husband that the standard recommended age for sleeping on the top bunk is six. Unfortunately, our boys share a bunk bed, so my little Trazan took his first flight at age three. Yes, on a rope. A bathrobe belt counts as a rope, right?

  • I have memories of threatening my (4 yrs. younger) sister growing up. I told her I’d MAKE her bleed, if she didn’t shut up. Now isn’t that sweet? We are good friends now–I must not have scared her too badly.
    Aahhh….childhood.
    I’m getting ready to turn 42….with THREE teenagers. I’m in a different time of childhood than you are… Think of Jensen driving a car. Yeah….that is my life. Amen.

  • Please keep us updates on how the pillows work out, lol.

  • Have you ever read Raising the High Spirited Child. Sounds like you have one as do I. My daughter is 16 now and still makes me tired just with basically everything. Just this morning we had to argue about how long it would take her to do the dishes and clean up the kitchen and if it was really that important. Then we proceeded to discuss the purpose of math, and writing in complete sentences. She feels there no need of either. Just a waste of time in her mind. Thank God I homeschool her, because I know I would be at the school on a daily basis.

    Oh yeah…she’s the 4 year old that found the black paint and painted everything in our storage room black and thought that a tube of tooth paste looked cool smeared on the bathroom mirror.

  • Am wondering what most worries you about the ceiling fan? Him getting his hand or head chopped off by a moving blade OR coming in one morning to find him treating the fan like a ride at Disney World?

  • PS – From the pics I’ve seen of you, I wouldn’t have guessed you a day over 32. Honest.
    ••••••••••••••••
    Kathleen,

    Okay, that does it. You’re my friend for life. 🙂

    And as far as Junior and the fan go, I totally foresee him setting up “his guys” on the top of the blades and then all of them going for a joy ride. (And btw, we confiscated his ladder during the day.)

    DeeDee

  • I too have a 5-year-old with a loft bed and a ceiling fan. We turned the switch on the fan to “off” and also attempt to keep the wall switch off as well. Since his room is about 10 x 10, there is no safe place for the bed. So far, so good, however, though I am betting he responds to threats of serious bodily harm a little better than your rambunctious little doggie 🙂