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The Deep End

We went bathing suit shopping at Wal*Mart on Saturday.  Because we’re just adventurous like that. And let the record show that the bathing suits being sought were not for me.

And not just because I have issues with the fluorescent lighting and fun house mirrors at Wal*Mart.  I simply see no need to scar my children anymore than necessary by seeing their mother jump out of the dressing room wearing a sausage casing, “HOW DO I LOOK?”

Since the weather turned warmer, the children have begun lobbying to go swimming in their grandparent’s pool. Which is not heated. And I have learned my lesson regarding the purchasing of new bathing suits for the season in Florida.  If I wait until, say, April, bathing suit choices are greatly diminished.

I insist that my daughters wear modest one piece bathing suits. A factoid which you might find humorous if you were to have caught sight of a teenaged me barely wearing a lime green string bikini.  Which may or may not have had padding in the booby caps.

We found suitable suits which the girls loved, and in the right size. Both of my industrial height daughters (ages 8 and 10) are wearing size 14/16 swim wear.  And if you’re doing the math, next season we’re going to be shopping for their swimsuits in the junior department.

Which means that either I’m going to start drinking, or learn how to sew.

Jensen joined in on the fun by snagging Phineas & Ferb board shorts for his pending water fun.  He doesn’t need any, but he looked so darn cute. And he’s not a bit spoiled.

On Sunday we were to go over to the grandparent’s house to celebrate my MIL’s birthday.  The children began campaigning to swim.  Let the record show that I said absolutely not.  Their father took a different stance.  He said, “Sure, if the water isn’t too cold.” Thinking that they would stick one big toe into the frigid waters and run in the other direction.

I on the other hand, prepared myself mentally for the likely event that my children would suffer hypothermia.  Because I knew for a fact that at least one of them would end up in the deep end.

The children all happily packed their swimming gear into their backpacks.  And chatted about swimming the entire drive over.

When we arrived, they headed for the pool.  The water temperature measured 66 degrees on the floating pool thermometer.  The 8 year old, and her younger partner in crime got in with very little hesitation.  It was then that I informed my husband that HE was on lifeguard duty.  As I envisioned them turning blue, and sinking right down to the bottom of the pool.

They withstood the chilly waters for a good 20 minutes, while the rest of the family looked on in amazement and silently wondered why God saw fit to entrust children to me and my husband.

When the offspring emerged, smiles plastered on their frozen faces, we thawed them out in a warm bath.

Spring has arrived in Florida.  But I’m still holding on to the last vestiges of winter by my fingernails. And since I won’t step foot in pool water unless it is at least 85 degrees, I still have time to either find the perfect sausage casing disguised as swimwear, or resort to plan B and lose 20 pounds.

In other words, it’s not looking good for me to finally achieve my dreams by joining the Synchronized Swim Team for the Summer Olympics.

8 Responses to The Deep End

  • Yes, spring has arrived in Florida but like you I am NOT going swimming for quite awhile. The cold got in my bones this year and it will have to be a nice hot day before I am ready to go in. (I live in the Lakeland area) My kids actually went swimming in a lake in Wyoming on a windy day. My daughter’s lips actually did turn blue!

  • Oh my. I’m in Nebraska and our temperature hasn’t even reached 60 yet. I can’t imagine swimming outside in a non-heated tub.

  • Try Land’s End for great suits that hold up forever and are modest too. Mine has lasted over 5 years and covers me great. My oldest daughter has had hers for 3 years and there are no snags at all. They are a little pricey, but they really last. I don’t think I will ever try to find one anywhere else.


    I have to admit that I did break down and get one for me last year from Lands End (LOVE Lands End). It was on clearance and it fit! I just hope I can still wriggle into it. My issues revolve more around actually getting up the nerve to put on a swimsuit. Which I know I just need to get over. 😉


  • Even in Houston the public pools don’t open up until late May and it was over 70 degrees & sunny today!

  • I’m in England and the temperature almost never reaches 60 degrees. However, when I lived in the states we would definitely have been swimming by now.

  • Spring is such a fickle month. Weatherwise and swimsuit-wise. Having to nab an early bathing suit when your skin still has that pasty winter white glow is just wrong.

  • Walmart has Phineas and Ferb swim suits, I might just have to take a trip over there. My son (5) is in love with them, the only thing he likes better is Kick Buttowski, and I think that is because the word but is in the name. Oh the mind of a 5 year old.

    I’m a huge Phineas and Ferb fan. Because I’m 5 at heart. I’ve been known to spew coffee across the room. My husband has been encouraging me to write a post about it. Favorite character? Baljeet.


  • That is too funny! My kids begged to have their baths (in the hose) outside yesterday after we got home from the “sandy park”, which was fine with me. (You mean no sand tracked in the house? Allrighty, then!)

    It was just fine with them, too, until I actually started spraying them with the hose. Then it became a screaming drama, complete with the kind of high-pitched shrieking that makes your ears bleed, and I swear I couldn’t believe the cops didn’t show up to take me away to bad mommy jail. You would have thought I was beating them with a hot poker!

    I’m guessing they’re not ready for the pool, huh?