We had grand plans to taking Jensen to Disney World for his birthday on Monday. But since my knee issues preclude me from walking great distances, those plans were put on hold. When I was pregnant with Jensen, trips to WDW were made possible by the renting of a motorized scooter. I had severe sciatica through that last pregnancy. It should also be noted that I also packed 50 pounds on my squatty little frame. But on Monday, we knew that even walking from the parking lot to the scooter roundup would be treachery.
Plan B was then put into action. We took the kids to a local zoo. All the motorized scooters were rented out. This being Florida and all. I opted for an old fashioned wheel chair. Which I had learned how to maneuver efficiently from my dealings with sciatica years ago.
We met up with my SIL, Trish, and her three boys. A grand time was had by all. The highlight of the trip, however, was when Cailey decided that she should have a servant’s heart and push me. Such a helpful child. As we neared a steep incline, she accelerated and we went screaming down the hill. She screamed in delight, I screamed in 50% terror, 50% wind in my hair joy. I did have a moment of clarity when I realized that we could potentially veer off the ramp and fly end over wheels and body parts in the shrubbery.
All of the children then wanted to take turns pushing me down the hill but The Fun Police Fiddledaddy gave us all a stern lecture on danger. And broken hips.
The remainder of Monday I was ordered on bed rest by my husband. Which sounds good on paper, but since I have issues with SOMEBODY TELLING ME WHAT TO DO, it was a stressful day.
I do not make a very pleasant patient.
By Tuesday, my knee felt worlds better, so I got up and went about my fairly normal activities. The house was a train wreck, laundry and dishes dotted every surface, and my floors were crunchy. I did minimal work. Honest. But by Tuesday night, I could not walk AT ALL.
And so, here I am on Wednesday in the same predicament. Going insane on bed rest. With a good deal of I TOLD YOU SO’s coming from my prison guard. Who offered to give me a sponge bath. I’m thinking of calling his bluff. That should teach him.
I got a diagnosis from the doctor’s office a while ago. Apparently I am 90, and have Osteoarthritis. Just shoot me. I now await a call from the specialist’s office to set up an appointment. My MIL has kindly offered me the use of her old walker. I will take her up on that if she includes the horn.
I’m spending a good deal of time in bed, on my laptop, chattering away with my peeps on Twitter. I’m surrounded by tax paper work, and school work to be graded, but I’m finding a good deal more comfort by blogging and tweeting. And ice cream pie for lunch.
Behold, a picture of the infirmary.
Yes, that is an Oreo Ice Cream Pie. Recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors.
I suppose I do feel better knowing what I’m dealing with. I just wish it was a more exciting disease. Caused by doing something athletic, or useful, or whatever.
Because I’m just lame like that.