I awoke at 6 this morning to find Emme wandering wide-eyed. Not unusual. She is a notorious nocturnal wanderer. She handed me a note that she penned. Like I can read ANYTHING at 6 am. Without the benefit of reading glasses. Or caffeine.
She summarized her plight for me. Evidently, she was up at 5 am with a nose bleed.
Let me pause here to tell you that I think she dreamed that, because there was no evidence of blood ANYWHERE. And this child refuses to throw her tissues in the trash. She leaves them lying about for the sympathy factor. If there had been blood, I would have been the first to step in it.
And while she was experiencing her nose bleed, heavy use of air quotes, she wandered to the front door to make sure everything was secure. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, she said she noticed the sensor light turn on, AND THEN A SHADOWY FIGURE WAS LURKING AROUND THE CORNER.
Shadowy figure, lurking, all her words, not mine.
WELL, THE SENSOR LIGHT KEPT GOING ON AND OFF FOR LIKE AN HOUR and she was just sure that someone was breaking into our van.
Which frankly wouldn’t surprise me. Do you have any idea what petrified french fries are going for these days?
We have a sensor light, and I use the term loosely, since it has an itchy trigger finger and is known to turn on when the wind blows. Or even thinks about blowing.
By this time I was able to make out a bit of her note, describing the events. It was timestamped 5:04. AM.
I sent her back to bed. And then I drank a pot of coffee. And watched the sensor perform a light show. I can only imagine that the neighbors across the street from us that are lucky enough to have a bedroom in the front of their house are awfully glad we moved here.
Later in the afternoon, Emme came in from fetching the mail for me. Wide eyed and stuttering, I finally was able to coax her to talk. MOM, I THINK SOMEONE WAS IN OUR VAN. THE MIDDLE SEAT IS DOWN!
Well of course, that’s where the majority of the petrified french fries are lodged. I went outside to investigate. The van was locked up tight. The seat had been put down by Fiddledaddy while attempting to extricate a kid from the back seat the night before.
I’m thinking that we really have no need for a security alarm. What with Emme on patrol. And I’m also thinking that I’m going to curtail her mystery reading for awhile. Let her sink her literary teeth into a nice romantic comedy.
Oh, I kid. When pigs fly. And that’s a whole OTHER discussion when I’m feeling all controversial.
I have TiVo set to record Lost, Biggest Loser, and American Idol. And I think I’m going to have to go with……LOST!!!
And then I’ll probably be up wandering around, eying the shadowy figures.