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Things That Go Bump in the Night

I awoke at 6 this morning to find Emme wandering wide-eyed.  Not unusual.  She is a notorious nocturnal wanderer.  She handed me a note that she penned.  Like I can read ANYTHING at 6 am.  Without the benefit of reading glasses.  Or caffeine.

She summarized her plight for me.  Evidently, she was up at 5 am with a nose bleed.

Let me pause here to tell you that I think she dreamed that, because there was no evidence of blood ANYWHERE.  And this child refuses to throw her tissues in the trash.  She leaves them lying about for the sympathy factor.  If there had been blood, I would have been the first to step in it.

And while she was experiencing her nose bleed, heavy use of air quotes, she wandered to the front door to make sure everything was secure. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, she said she noticed the sensor light turn on, AND THEN A SHADOWY FIGURE WAS LURKING AROUND THE CORNER.

Shadowy figure, lurking, all her words, not mine.

WELL, THE SENSOR LIGHT KEPT GOING ON AND OFF FOR LIKE AN HOUR and she was just sure that someone was breaking into our van.

Which frankly wouldn’t surprise me.  Do you have any idea what petrified french fries are going for these days?

We have a sensor light, and I use the term loosely, since it has an itchy trigger finger and is known to turn on when the wind blows.  Or even thinks about blowing.

By this time I was able to make out a bit of her note, describing the events.  It was timestamped 5:04.  AM.

I sent her back to bed.  And then I drank a pot of coffee.  And watched the sensor perform a light show.  I can only imagine that the neighbors across the street from us that are lucky enough to have a bedroom in the front of their house are awfully glad we moved here.

Later in the afternoon, Emme came in from fetching the mail for me.  Wide eyed and stuttering, I finally was able to coax her to talk.  MOM, I THINK SOMEONE WAS IN OUR VAN.  THE MIDDLE SEAT IS DOWN!

Well of course, that’s where the majority of the petrified french fries are lodged.  I went outside to investigate.  The van was locked up tight.  The seat had been put down by Fiddledaddy while attempting to extricate a kid from the back seat the night before.

Mystery solved.

I’m thinking that we really have no need for a security alarm.  What with Emme on patrol.  And I’m also thinking that I’m going to curtail her mystery reading for awhile.  Let her sink her literary teeth into a nice romantic comedy.


Oh, I kid.  When pigs fly.  And that’s a whole OTHER discussion when I’m feeling all controversial.

I have TiVo set to record Lost, Biggest Loser, and American Idol.  And I think I’m going to have to go with……LOST!!!

And then I’ll probably be up wandering around, eying the shadowy figures.

6 Responses to Things That Go Bump in the Night

  • OMG dee dee I have tears rolling down my face. If they arent married to others when they are 30 please lets introduce Emme and Tanner. He was in my room Sat night to tell his dad not to worry he caught the DINOSAUR in the bathroom….I would laugh but he is serious. We also apparently have a ghost who lives in the spare room and whines about toys being put up till the kids get up and get all the toys back out.
    gotta love em

  • If I am reallllly good, can I just come live at your house for a week?

    Just one, then I’m gone.

    I need the hilarity right now.

  • Haha! HAHAHAHA!

    The thing about alarms is that they alert you at the time the event happens. So, say, if someone broke into your van at 5am? You would know at 5am.

    Also, when I was about ten, I went out early to peek on Christmas morning and SWORE there was a gorilla in our living room. It turned out to be a new bike.

    Just sayin’

  • She is a braver woman than me! If I thought I saw a “shadowy figure lurking” about, I would have gone straight back to bed to hide under the covers. And I have a couple of decades on Emme.

    Our backdoor motion detector scares me on a regular basis. Granted, it’s usually the stray cats. Or the wind. Or my imagination.

  • I think I found a match for her!

    My son often ‘sees things that are scarey’ during the night and reports in the morning “I didn’t sleep at all last night I was scared all night long”. (even though I checked on him at 11 and he was sound asleep snoring)

    He is frequently convinced someone was looking in his second floor, (nothing under it to climb on) window on the front of the house. The one so high my hubby can’t even reach it with the ladder to clean it.
    But he will testify someone was there to the bitter end.

  • maybe you have bats flying around your sensor…. or maybe TREE FROGS!! (OK, sorry, that was just mean)