Night at Awana

In years past, the fact that I’m an Awana leader has led to excellent blog fodder.  If you don’t know, Awana is a national ministry that promotes Bible memorization for kids, aged preschool through 5th grade.  Many churches offer this program.

Mine does.  And this is my 3rd year as an Awana leader.  And the fact that they keep letting me come back tells you that I haven’t traumatized any children besides those that I’m related to.

Yet.

The reason that you haven’t heard much in the way of Awana antics is because I did something really sneaky this year.

The number of homeschooling families in our church has been growing.  In fact, just by happy coincidence, my co-leader is a homeschool mom, and a number of the kids in my group over the last few years are homeschooled.

So.  I mentioned to our children’s pastor that WOULDN’T IT BE COOL IF THIS YEAR I HAD A GROUP OF SPARKS THAT WERE HOMESCHOOLED?

And what do you know, there were enough of them to have a group of homeschooled Sparks.

{insert maniacal laughter}

MY MASTER PLAN.

You see, I know these kids parents.  Really well.  And the kids know that I know their parents.  Really well.  AND WHAT LUCK!  I even have their phone numbers.  AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE MY DIALING FINGER.  And as an added bonus, the moms of the homeschoolers are always willing to jump in and help in our room.

So there are VERY FEW SHENANIGANS going on in my Awana group.

Anyhoo.  At our Awana, there is a time of the evening when the Sparkies gather in one big room, and sit on color coded tape lines on the floor to hear a really wonderful sermon geared to the kids.  The color of the tape corresponds with the groups color.

My little group of homeschooled Sparks is the Orange Team.  Our church isn’t in possession of orange tape, so my group sits on an imaginary orange line.  In the back. Very neatly.  Crisscross applesauce.  I was sitting behind them admiring how extremely well behaved they are, comparatively speaking.  Just sayin’.

Our children’s pastor has an awesome rapport with the kids, and he will go around asking the kids questions about their week.  The question posed on this evening was “Did anything exciting happen to you during your Christmas break?”

Cailey’s eyes lit up and her little dimpled hand shot high into the air.

Oh no.  Really, the only wild card in my little group of nicely behaved homeschooled Sparkies is my own daughter.

She has no filter what so ever when it comes to telling it like it is.  Especially around other people.  In a church setting.

Our children’s pastor started to walk towards her and she raised her hand even higher if that was possible.  I managed to get her attention with a terse stage whisper.

DO. NOT. MENTION. BODY. FLUIDS.

She knew I meant business, and slowly lowered her hand.

Disaster averted.

My mind can only imagine the tales of horror that were about to be spewed upon innocent ears about a poorly timed Christmas flu bug and the carnage that only excessive and simultaneous vomit and diarrhea can evoke.

Wouldn’t have been a dry eye in the house.

Now I’m sure I’ve completely sold you on the Awana program.  And if you’d like more information how to find an Awana program or how to start one in your own church, go here.

And if you attend my church, I completely understand if you want to avoid the Orange Team. 🙂

January 7, 2010

2 Responses to Night at Awana

  • Oh I would have paid good money to hear a play by play from your daughter. LOL
    ••••••••••••••••

    I know, me too. But honestly, she would have cleared the room.

    DeeDee

  • Oh my word. I am a Pioneer Leader (same concept, different program) and my seven year old is on my team, too. Great post! I enjoyed it. =)