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The Christmas Bonus

Should you be prone to Squeemish, you might want to skip this one. You know how I live for a good vomit story. Consider yourself warned.

Since we all spent Thanksgiving quaranteened because of the plague, we thought we’d continue the tradition and contract a stomach flu the week of Christmas.

Which is awesome timing, really.

The trouble began last Friday, when we were to depart from Fort Wilderness at WDW.  Jensen woke up puking at about 4:30 am.  And it continued while we packed up and for the entire 75 minute ride home.

We had taken the middle seats out of the van to accomodate ALL THE CRAP that one needs for camping for 5 people for 5 days.

And since you know that I’m not a fan of camping, you also know that we stayed in a cabin that had running water, AC and heating, a dishwasher, microwave, full fridge, stove, and most importantly a coffee maker.

Oh.  And internet connection.

Anyhoo.  Jensen had to endure the ride home in the back seat sandwiched between two sisters.  Who are not fond of vomit.  And the two sisters had to administer aid to a little brother by holding the throw up bucket (a rubber maid container that could be sealed for freshness), and handing out wet wipes to clean a small boy’s mouth when finished.

He threw up the entire way home.

The girls rose to the challenge, and other than turning green, they did a fabulous job.

A Christmas miracle.

We thought he had contracted food poisoning. Until I threw up that night.  But I seemed to be okay on Saturday, and chalked it up to a sympathy vomit.

But by Saturday night, I was happily chirping on Twitter with my Tweeps, and I suddenly felt immediately ill.  I signed out, and that was all she wrote.

I was sick all night.

And because misery loves company, Cailey came into our room at 4 am announcing that she threw up in her bed.

She lives on the top bunk.

She was covered from the top of her strawberry blonde head to the tips of her fairy pajamas. This was a two parent job, so I rose to the occasion and got Cailey into the bath, while Fiddledaddy took care of the top bunk.

I didn’t even want to know what THAT was like.  I do know that Fiddledaddy got acquainted with Mr. Washing Machine in a hurry.

Since Cailey has a twin sized sleep number bed, and it is light, Fiddledaddy set it up in the family room for her.  It is much easier to vomit over the side if you are closer to the ground.  And you don’t have to worry about hitting an older sister who sleeps below you.  Just sayin’.

She then threw up all the next day.  Sunday was a bad bad day in the House of Fiddle.  Fiddledaddy was our primary care giver, and when he started to feel ill, drastic measures were called for.

He loaded us all into the van and we headed for the Urgent Care facility.  They know us my name.  My sweet SIL met us there, and kept Jensen and Emme in their van to watch a movie.  Emme kept everyone entertained with vomit stories until Jensen announced that he wasn’t feeling good, so the vomit stories had to come to an ubrupt end.

We were diagnosed with a stomach virus, and had to ride it out.  Shoot me.  Literally.  When the doctor offered me a shot of something that would bring about a merciful end to the nausea, I leaped up and dropped my drawers.

This is important because I am not a fan of The Needle.  My father loves to tell the story of how it once took one doctor, three nurses, and two exasperated parents to hold me down for a shot.

Cailey wanted nothing to do with the shot.  And she’s even more strong willed than I EVER was, so the parents didn’t have the strength to restrain her.

WE’LL TAKE THE SUPPOSITORY FOR THAT CHILD. (Sometimes revenge is sweet.)

By nightfall, Fiddledaddy was in full STOMACH FLU mode, and I was loopy from the shot.  It’s a wonder we made it through the night.  Oh, and Jensen threw up once more for good measure.  I suspect he was reliving Emme’s vomit stories from earlier in the day.

I haven’t even seen Fiddledaddy yet this morning.  He hasn’t emerged from the infirmary our room yet.  Not a good sign.

I’m actually able to lift my arms to the keyboard, so I think I’ve turned a corner.

And the children are bickering and threatening to vomit on one another as a new fun means of torture, so I think they’re on the mend.

On the bright side, Christmas is a time for celebrating the birth of Christ.  And family togetherness.  And this family is all about TOGETHERNESS this week.

The Stomach Flu, it is the gift that keeps on giving.

10 Responses to The Christmas Bonus

  • I’m not feeling so hot all of a sudden. Sympathy pains I’m sure. I have heard if you bleach everything in the bathroom/bedroom/wherever the puke was, and limit the sick one to one bathroom. Then bleach everything when they are better, you won’t have it run through the family. I’ve not tested it but a friend swears by it.

  • Oh, so sorry about all the sickness. I should have listened to your warning and read this at a time I was not eating tuna noodle casserole. ick.

  • Is it wrong to be laughing? I feel for ya, but we all have to find the humor in situations like these. I’m glad you can see it, too. Your story makes me recall the Great Fluid Festival of 2003 at our house and the the Gastro-Intestinal Apocalypse of 2005. I’ll spare you the details . . .

    Prayers said for a speedy recovery for you and yours!

  • Oh, DeeDee!!! What a mess! I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Praying hard that this is the end of it for you.
    ~Hugs~ (from a very very VERY safe distance!)

  • FEEL BETTER SOON!!! All of you!!

  • Even with all the vomit, I still laugh….I just can’t help it!

    Hope everyone is better soon. Look on the bright side, some say we should all do a total body cleansing once a year. You guys should be good to go for the new year.

    Merry Christmas!

  • Oh dear blog friend….I completely feel your pain. Completely. After battling a sickness for the entire month of November with my youngest child, only to find out after blood/lab tests Nov. 30th that she has MONO…..which they tell me will take her several more weeks, possibly up to 6 months to recover totally. She is doing much better, but any little activity just wipes her out! However, it’s been hard having a sick one for SO long.

    This weekend we had Christmas at my parents with all the aunts, uncles and cousins. My youngest niece stayed over with us Saturday night…..only to wake me up at 3 am with her stomach not feeling well.

    I have never cleaned up so much vomit in all my 12 years of motherhood. If this tells you anything, I was about to look for a shovel to scoop it up from the floor into the toilet–and I have vowed to never eat another green bean until next Christmas, if ever.

    I have been praying fiercely that none of us at House of Bowling come down with it….as Christmas is in a matter of days. And what says JOY better than a stocking full of Christmas Eve Dinner, the second time around? 🙂

    Hope y’all are all well soon!

  • I can feel your pain, and hope you are all better soon. I remember 8 years ago, we’d just moved into this house when my husband left for a 3 day business trip. I think as soon as his car was out of the driveway the puking started. My girls were 2, 4, 5 and 7. They all started at the same time. I ended up sleeping on the bedroom floor with them all, they all slept on layers of towels. I crawled from one to the other with the puke bucket for about 36 hours. Soiled towels got tossed down the hall to be dealt with later. It was awful! We were quite lucky that it cleared them all about the same time and I didn’t start until my husband was home again. If it was phenergan you had, that is some lovely stuff. We kept it in the fridge just in case for the next couple of years.

  • Only you can turn such misery into humor. If there is a blessing to be found, it is in the fact that you didn’t all have the germ while you were at Disney World. And that it will be done by Christmas.

  • My blessings to you all! You deserve a fun filled and vomit free Christmas!
    Thanks for all of you wonderful stories, I really enjoy your blog!