There are many moms who really have their act together. They can homeschool, keep a clean house, launder the linens, and serve up a hot meal. All without breaking a sweat.
I am not one of these moms.
I may go along, keeping all of my plates spinning at a nice clip, and then with no warning whatsoever, I have a day like today.
And I find myself short-tempered and ill equipped to deal with what would normally come easily to me.
Let me just say that at one point I had to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. A good full throttle ugly cry.
While a small 4 year old dropped to his knees and hollered through the crack underneath the door, “I NEED SOME MOMMY TIME NOW, MOMMY.”
And you want more than anything to give him that, but you just feel like you have nothing left to give.
And THAT makes you feel worse. WHAT DO I HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? A BIG FAT NOTHING, THAT’S WHAT!
That’s about when you dry your tears on your stained t-shirt and slow, oh so slowly, hoist yourself up off the dirty bathroom floor, brush the hair off of your black yoga pants, and face your fears.
One of which is still laying on the floor trying to talk to you from underneath the door.
I hold on to the thought that we all have days like that. And you know what? It’s okay. I think we all hold ourselves to a higher standard when we have a family that depends on us.
The Mom sets the entire tone for the house. And that’s a lot of pressure. Most of which comes from ourselves.
One of the lessons that I’m learning is to cut myself a little slack. And to utter a simple prayer, “Oh God. Please help me. I can’t do this alone.”
Because know what? We’re not suppose to do this alone.
That was the revelation that I had as I sat on the couch, holding my 4 year old as he melted onto my lap, as I softly stroked his hair.
Have you ever had a day like that?