I’ve been very open over the last few years about some of the issues we’ve faced with Jensen. Especially the little matter that involved him screaming whenever we went anywhere in public.
Which always made for some fun blog fodder during the weekly grocery shopping trip.
I’m so relieved to tell you that the situation has improved dramatically since he turned 4. We occasionally still deal with impromptu public nudity, but other than that, we generally can venture out into the open without too much incident.
He’s still a handful, mind you. I have to keep him on a short leash (figuratively). And just so you know, yes, I have considered one of those child harnessy things. But we all know that he could easily catch me off guard and use it to tie me to a street light.
He also still has the pesky habit of TALKING IN ALL CAPS. And you never really know what’s going to come out of him. Which is always an exciting prospect at church and such.
Today we piled into the van for a homeschool field trip to Chick Fil-A. The plan was to have playtime on the indoor play equipment, tour the facility, and then eat lunch with other homeschooling friends.
This all sounded harmless enough.
What could happen?
The playtime was quite fun. Jensen even had time to fall head over heals for a little tiny girl. When she exited the playground, he made his intentions public by yelling after her, “HEY, DON’T LEAVE, I LOVE YOU!”
I need to have that little talk with him about playing hard to get. Or hard to keep. Or whatever.
He turned to me after she left and stated, “MOMMY, WHEN I’M A GROWN-UP, I’M GOING TO GO TO THE PET STORE AND THE BABY STORE AND GET ME A DOG AND A BABY.”
Right on, baby boy.
Then it was time for our group to take the tour of the kitchen. I was particularly excited about this prospect. Because I’ve heard that Chick Fil-A runs a first rate kitchen, and frankly I could use some pointers. Like where is the best place to store the fire extinguishers and other useful information.
I gave Jensen the little talk about staying right with me and exhibiting his most polite behavior by not interrupting our tour guide.
About 35 seconds into the tour, Jensen announced to everyone within a 1 mile radius of the building, “I’M BORED!” And the shooshing I aimed at him only served to make him louder, MOMMY, I’M BOOOORRRRDDD.”
And so I whisked him away. Back to the playground. And let my girls continue on the tour.
Lunch with Jensen was hectic, and then keeping track of him afterward with the lunch crowd and all the kids took a herculean effort. Translated, I just held onto his arm. With all the strength I could muster.
At one point, I was engaged in conversation with a fellow harried mom. I was hanging onto Jensen with my left hand. He managed to wriggle away from me for a moment, yet without losing my train of conversational thought, I saw him in my peripheral vision, and reached out and caught him up in the death grip. While continuing the discussion with my friend.
I noticed that he was really straining against me, so I turned to give him the stink eye.
I found myself looking into the very confused face of a little boy that was not Jensen. Horrified, I released him and apologized profusely. He stood rubbing his wrist, still looking up at me puzzled.
In my defense, he is the same size as Jensen, and was wearing the same color shirt. Fortunately, it was his mother I was talking to and when she realized what had happened she laughed it off saying, “oh, he’s use to it.”
SHOUT OUT TO STACEY! It’s so comforting to have friends that sail around in the same sinking boat with you.
I turned to see Jensen across the restaurant, frolicking with his boy cousins.
Our next planned field trip is the Kennedy Space Center.
I look forward to it with some trepidation.
The entire future of the space program could be in jeopardy.