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Tongue Tied

I feel that I need to warn you that I may have sunk to an all new blogging low.  So, if you’re offended by my posts which are rife with tasteless content, turn and run now.

Run like the wind.

Today we made the hour plus change journey into the city to spring Fiddledaddy’s computer from the Apple computer hospital in the mall, where it was being fixed.

And the Apple store?  I had to be thrown out.  That is my favorite shop in the mall.  In the whole world, even.  I believe I put my fingerprints on every single computer apparatus in the entire store.  And there was one 20 inch model computer screen that I may have thrown myself across.

And that’s when security was dispatched.

Because he didn’t want the adventure to end on a sour note, Fiddledaddy treated me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen.

But there was an incident.

We were thoroughly enjoying our Garlic Cheese Pizza when all of a sudden, I bit my tongue.

I’ve spent a good deal of my adult life biting my tongue, but this time I drew blood.  Childbirth was not as painful.

As evidenced by the wailing and writhing in murderous pain that ensued.

There was no relief.  Fiddledaddy was rewarded for listening to me carrying on by getting the last piece of pizza.  For I vowed only to drink my dinner from now on.  Amen.

Later this evening, I was still discussing my tongue, although it was difficult to understand me as the SWELLING had begun.

Concerned, Fiddledaddy told me that I immediately needed to go put rubbing alcohol on it, to ward off infection.

He must think I’m new.  Like he wouldn’t yank my chain, despite my agony.

Then he suggested that we take a picture of the wound.  At first I resisted, because, ewwww.  But then I remembered who I was and I ran to grab the camera.

After he saw the picture, he was all YOU CANNOT PUT THAT ON YOUR BLOG.  And I was all HAVE YOU MET ME?  OF COURSE I’M GOING TO PUT THAT ON MY BLOG!


It is really much worse than it looks.

I’ll be taking my breakfast through a straw.

Has anyone ever died from a tongue infection?


24 Responses to Tongue Tied

  • you drew blood??? That must have been some outstanding pizza!

  • Thank you for taking your blog to a new all time low. I thoroughly enjoyed the trip.

  • No death, but lots of fussing and a nice scar about a year later.

    My then 18 month old or so daughter bit a hole in her tongue when a baby stroller she was pushing in the nursery at church skidded out and she crashed to the linoleum floor. She cried and cried. The people working in there thought she’d bit her lip, but I later discovered that it was actually her tongue.

    Now at 2 1/2 she still has a scar. Watch out for salt and such for a while. You’ll be fine. It could have been worse! 🙂

  • That does look serious, DeeDee, but rubbing alcohol? I’m glad your husband is not a doctor.

    We ate at California Pizza yesterday too (obviously not the same one). No blood. Just 4 obnoxious children. Whose children were they anyway?

  • Use peroxide. And orajel until the soreness is gone. Salt will burn but it would be good for it too.

  • I knew this guy at band camp who said his aunt’s sister’s cousin died of a tongue infection. Be well.

  • Maybe God was helping you stay on your diet.
    I am pretty sure pizza has carbs. 🙂
    Maybe I’m just jealous you had pizza.

  • Oh my word. That’s just gross. You are a brave woman!

  • My husband started taking a new medication for something one morning and called me that afternoon to say his tongue was swelling. I suggested it might be an allergy to the meds. He called a little later sounding stressed and said it was getting worse and affecting his speaking. I said he should go to the emergency clinic and I’d meet him there. He brushed off the idea. I got a call about 2 hours later from him saying it got worse and he did go to the clinic. I’m freaking out a little now. Then he tells me that it wasn’t an allergic reaction, he’d burnt his tongue so badly on a breakfast sandwich from Subway that it started to swell and ulcerate. He’d forgotten about the sandwich. He then went on to tell me about the incident, that it burnt so bad that he leaned forward in his car (where he was eating) to put his mouth to the a/c vent. I was laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of the image in my head that I hung up on him. He wasn’t the least bit embarrassed by the situation. I can’t imagine what the doctor must have been thinking. Anyway… a very little bit of salt in warm water swished will help, so will orajel though it stings like fire when you first put it on. I like Kank-aid better, it has a very soft bristle brush to apply with. If you are like me you probably shouldn’t talk or chew much over the next couple of days or you’ll just keep biting that spot. Stick with ice cream and pudding. 🙂

  • “So, if you’re offended by my posts which are rife with tasteless content, turn and run now.”

    Honey, that’s why we come here.
    And you made me laugh out loud. Again.
    I’m sorry I laughed at your pain. Good luck with that liquid diet thing…does Carrabas work in the cuisinart?

  • Oh, the Apple store… oh, how I dream of the Apple store…

  • Hey, us moms are a tough crew. You think a gross tongue picture is going to turn us off? Puh-leeze!
    We’ve cleaned up chunky puke, mended bloody gashes from bike stunts gone bad, carried our children’s USED tissues around in our purse (because “there’s no where to throw it! Will you hold it?”), or my all time favorite….drum roll please…cleaning up after your dear baby child had a major blow out and not only is it all over him—but his poo is all over your lap too. Yea!!! We moms are a stout lot.

    And this is why you all are my people!

  • DeeDee! As proud as I am of Tom for the rubbing alcohol suggestion, I am even more so of you for calling him on his devious nature.

    Hoping you survive long enough to write of your recovery.

  • ewwwww! Poor thing! I actually bite the side of my mouth all the time. But I promise you won’t die from a tongue infection. However I may have to award you the yucky blog post. LOL

  • Welcome to the darkside, my friend. We have cookies. And we’re slighty organized but shhh don’t tell anyone.

  • I don’t bite my tongue, but I get choked easily. It’s a little trick that my husband and kids find either amusing or embarassing – depending where we are at the moment. They especially enjoy it when I get choked to the point of gagging, resulting in being unable to speak for 5-10 minutes. Of course, a waiter is always certain to come to our table during that period to ask if I’m okay, do I want water, etc., etc., etc. Imagine their amusement as they sit by my side, looking innocent, and pretending they don’t know the answer to any of the questions and stare at me, waiting for the mute to speak.

    Yep… klassy.

    Oh, and I usually spill something on myself (you know, just for the fun of it) right about the time I’m recovering from the choking.

    Want to be best friends???

  • That was great – but really sad that you had to give up the last slice of pizza!

  • Wow, that’s a whopper.. and yes biting the tongue does hurt worse than childbirth! I think I’m gonna throw up every time I bite mine. You’re welcome! : )

  • Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. That looks terribly painful. Well actually, it kind of looks like a giant blurry boil, but I’m guessing that if it were a better picture, it would look terribly painful. I vote for Orajel.

  • So my BFF called today and said, have you read DeeDee today? It reminded me of something me and you would do. And so I came, to read about the sorted events of your day and I agree that yes, indeed it is in fact something we would do. I’ve tackled milia (with pictures) and an embalming (without pictures), so as you can imagine, I throughly enjoyed this post. Not because you bit your tongue of course, but because you care enough to share it with the rest of us crazy fools. I’m sure me, you and my BFF would be great friends. =)

  • I hate that!! Hope its feeling better soon!

  • Please tell me you survived the night.

    I was scared the kids took over when they figured out you can’t talk.

    Oh yes! I’m okiedokie. I gingerly ate my cereal this morning. 🙂 It’s close to impossible to write and post after Wed. night, because I need to decompress from Awana! AAAAHHHHHHH!

    Thanks for thinking of me. I’ll get some mediocre content out today.


  • Ahm thow thowwee oo bith yoor thuungh. Hoeb iths bedduh thoon. 😉

  • Sorry you bit your tongue. But tell Fiddledaddy that the mouth heals in three days. No if only the rest of the body did!!!