It’s a Jungle Out There

Toad Graphic

Please don’t get the idea that I’m going to use my blog as an opportunity to obsess about my phobias.  Ad nauseum.

Because that’s what husbands are for.

Fiddledaddy isn’t going anywhere.  If the blogosphere knew the extent of my neurosis, they would slowly back away, turn, then run like the wind.  Essentially,  an action known as UNFOLLOW!

That being said.  I do need to follow up on my recent blog post announcing the return of The Frog.  Because I have new information.

My friend Sonia (a real live friend, as opposed to an imaginary blogging friend) informed me that it was the dreaded Cuban Tree Frog that had invaded my family room picture window.  The Cuban Tree Frog is known by its bubble finger and toe tips.

And The Cuban Tree Frog is especially unlikeable around Armpit, Florida because evidently it has a cannibalistic tendency to eat the “good” frogs.

It is hard for me to admit that any frog is a good frog.  But, in this instance, the “good” frogs are the ones that eat the swarms of mosquitos that threaten our very lives this time of year.

I will concede this point.

My friend Sonia went on to tell me that the Cuban Tree Frogs should be eradicated in a humane manner.  And her suggestion is one that she herself uses.  Place them gently into a ziploc, and then stick them into the freezer.  Then dispose of them when they are good and hard.

After I regained consciousness, I quickly shot off an e-mail to her.  In essence calling her my hero for ability to kill the frogs.  But at the same time questioning her sanity because HOW CAN YOU EVER OPEN THE FREEZER DOOR AGAIN?  Even if there is a carton of chocolate mint ice cream with your name in magic marker on the side residing behind that freezer door.

And besides, I buy the generic freezer ziploc bags, and they don’t always hold their contents all that well.  So my mind immediately went to the dark side and imagined the frogs escaping within the confines of my freezer.

And that’s when the room went dark again.

Later, I got to thinking about the idea of killing the Cuban Tree Frog humanely.  Would a shotgun blast between the beady eyes be considered humane?

I pondered this question over the last couple of days.  And then this morning, I opened the Family Room curtain to see a rather large bulbous Cuban Tree Frog clinging to the glass.

Emme squinted at him, “Mom, what’s that sticking out of his mouth?”

I inspected through the safety of the storm glass.

“That would be a frog leg.  Evidently one of the good frogs.”

Not even kidding.  And no, I couldn’t bring myself to take a picture.  Your welcome.

And so, I have concluded that yes, a shotgun blast between the beady eyes is justified.

So if you should hear of a crazed housewife being arrested for shooting up the neighborhood, please don’t hang up on my one and only collect call from the county jail.

DeeDeeSig

September 10, 2009

20 Responses to It’s a Jungle Out There

  • My number one fear is frogs. I like to say that I would walk a mile around a frog to avoid it. I think I would have had a heart attack in your family room.

    Good luck with the shotgun.

  • DeeDee this is classic Fiddledeedee! Thank you for my morning chuckle with my cup of java! Your frog escapades are the greatest! Have a super day!

  • Is this “freezer” idea similar to the cooking idea? (Put a frog in a pot of boiling water and they’ll jump out, but put them in a pot of water to boil, and they’ll allow themselves to be cooked?)

    I can’t believe you didn’t get a photo! Science! Were you not thinking “science”?!! (Do you all have to be reviewed in FL? I’m afraid I don’t know your hs laws.)

  • Perhaps, considering the extent and frequency of your frogscapades, you should purchase a very small freezer that is used exclusively for the humane extinction of dangerous amphibians. And then make the kids do it. You know, in the name of science. It could be part of their curriculum.

  • Not to mention the fact that phobic person would have to CATCH the frog to begin with…..

  • We are always trying to get rid of Cane Toads here… we do the same thing… pop them in a bag, tie it up and whack ’em in the freezer

    And this one time we were racing out the door and there was one on our lawn. Adam grabbed it… WRAPPED it in a plastic shopping bag and put it in the freezer.

    We came home, Adam opened the freezer and there was the toad, right at the door, arm outstreatched like it was just about to reach the door and then…. froze.

  • I am with Melanie, how on earth would one get that lovely little froggy INTO the Ziploc bag?!

  • Aren’t there just some Herdmans* running around the neighborhood that would catch & torture them to death?

    (*Best Christmas Pageant Ever reference. Sad that I used a reference I felt needed explaining.)

  • One word. “Yuck.”

  • See, this is why you have both a husband AND a son. Because I have a feeling that that certain son of yours would love nothing better than to run around the yard (probably naked) stuffing hapless cannibalistic Cuban Tree Frogs into plastic baggies bound for the freezer… What a way to make all your little boy’s dreams come true! (Oh, and I second the whole “get a small freezer just for the frogs thing”… I SO would not have frozen frogs in MY freezer. *Shudder*)

  • I don’t even know what to say about putting frogs into the freezer. I just can’t imagine opening the door and seeing a bag of frozen frogs in there with food we are supposed to eat. YUCK! Now I have to go Google how to get rid of frogs!

  • Ha! You make me laugh. Out loud.

  • Oh, I love North Carlina so much more after reading this… and now my bowl of bean soup will not taste quite so good thinking about cannibal frogs on your window.

  • Hahahaha! I am never moving to Florida. Ever. I may not even visit ever again. I won’t even tell you what I saw on animal planet the other night.

  • Btw- I can’t remember if Tony was ‘really’ bad or not. How sad is that? I’d have to go back and watch the last episode of last season (which I owned the day it came out.) You have phobias, I have obsessions. My memory however is not what it used to be, and so the 20 or so novels I’ve read this summer pushed all thoughts of Tony right out of my head. If I can actually work up the energy to get on the treadmill tonight, I’ll watch it and let you know.

  • Ew, ew, EEEWWWWW! I can’t imagine getting the frogs IN the bags either…maybe you could seal the Wallyworld brand bags with duct tape. And start a new diet trend… the dead frog diet. You open the freezer and see the dead frog and suddenly you aren’t hungry any more. : p

  • I have never been happier to be a Texan in my life. I would curl up in the fetal position if I saw a frog clinging to the window with a frog leg in it’s mouth!

  • Don’t feel bad. One of those big huge geckos was in my hallway tonight when we came home. Hubs and I tried to get it into a bucket and in the process knocked of its tail. The youngest son came by picked it up before I could tell him no and threw it in the trash. Tail still trashing about! NASTY!! I did manage to get the gecko into the bucket and throw it back out side where it belongs!! Now I’m off to sterilize the hall!

  • “because HOW CAN YOU EVER OPEN THE FREEZER DOOR AGAIN?”

    This was my thought exactly before I even got to it in the post!!

  • I’m going with the shotgun blast between the eyes. Not only humane, but theraputic for the shooter. PLUS, you’d actually have to CATCH and HANDLE the thing to put it in a ziploc bag, or did she have a suggestion for that? Maybe one of those grabber things you use to pick up trash?