Cleaning the Floor for a Good Cause

Saturday night I attended an annual ladies night fund raiser for a charity that supports families that have children with cancer.  This group is near and dear to our hearts since they embraced my sweet SIL Cathy and her family when our niece was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

This year the theme was country & western.  Y’all.

I agonized over what to wear, knowing that line dancing would be involved.  I wisely chose my jeans that have a good deal of built-in stretch to them.  And add to that a lavender polyester button down, which did nothing for my figure, but did make me sweat like a dying pig.

Which in retrospect, may have helped my figure after all.

I was, however, horrified to discover that this Texas girl had absolutely NO cowboy boots in her closet.  I have a vague memory of throwing out all shoes and boots that reminded me that my feet DID INDEED SWELL A SIZE LARGER WITH EACH  PREGNANCY.  And then stayed that way.

Old wives tale my……..foot.

Sneakers were out of the question, because during the Boot Scootin’ Boogie I was certain to scuff the floor with my Adidas.  So, this was what I emerged from my closet wearing on my feet.

Platform_Crocs

These beauties are Crocs, my friends.  I KNOW!  Crocs has greatly evolved from the hot pink clown shoes I started with all those years ago!

The only foreseeable issue was that I’m not use to wearing 3 inch heels.  Much less walking in them.  And DANCING.

The last time I attempted to wear these to a function, Fiddledaddy wisely talked me out of it, after noting that we don’t have quite enough insurance to cover an extended hospital visit, should I be in need of traction.

But Fiddledaddy was not home when I was preparing for the evenings festivities.  So I was on my own to make unfettered decisions concerning my footwear.

All went well during the first part of the evening.  I performed the electric slide without breaking a femur.  Or dislocated a hip.

When we were all settled into our seats, like sardines, the games began.  There were prizes, y’all.  And some were quite wonderful.  But there was a bit of a competition at hand.

And y’all know how competitive I can be.

The MC called out an item, and if we could locate that item in our purse, and be the first up to the front with said item, then a prize was won.

I quietly berated myself for having cleaned out my purse the day before.

NOW THAT YIELDED A TREASURE TROVE.

After a few items were called out (one being a flask…which, no, I did not have) I heard the MC say “Does anyone have with them, a TAPE MEASURE?”

My heart stopped.  In my head I heard myself say, “YES, YES I do!”  However, another competitor said it out loud and rushed the front of the room.

However, she brought her purse with her, and was frantically digging through it.  In the meantime, I had pulled out my tape measure (which is attached to my key chain) and was making a mad dash to the front as well.

But as luck would have it, just as I reached the front, a spindly chair leg became entangled in my shoe, and I began the long descent to the floor.

I couldn’t catch myself, because I had the tape measure held high in the air.  So, as if in slow motion, down down down I went.  Until I was face down on the linoleum.  (Which if truth be told, is not an unusual location for me.)

I knew I’d never make it back up to my platformed feet in time, so I army crawled.  Still holding up the tape measure.  I made it up to me knees and passed the competitor, still digging in her purse.  SUCKER!

It was then that I noticed I had sliced open my texting finger with the metal edge of the tape measure.

But it was totally worth it.

Because this is what I won.

Handbagdelaugly

(Cue the crickets)

Okay, it’s a really cute purse and all.  But not my, um, style.  I go for the type of purse that you can stash a blender in, and no one is the wiser.

I tried to give it to my daughter.  The one whose mantra is “the more bling, the better.”  No takers.

Luckily, the next item asked for was a sewing kit.  Which I considered borrowing.  To stitch up my texting finger.  A nearby woman took pity on me and gave me a bandage from her own purse for my wound.

A battle scar, that I’ll forever carry with honor.

The evening was seriously redeemed for me during a drawing, when I also won a basket that contained a bottle of Pineapple Rum.  Which I figured would be useful in erasing the embarrassment of skidding to a  stop on my face.  In front of hundreds of women.

All in all, we had a wonderful time.  And lots of money was raised to help cancer families in need.

And next year?  I’m hoping the theme will be sports related because I’m going with the sneakers.  And football pads.

DeeDeeSig

August 31, 2009

12 Responses to Cleaning the Floor for a Good Cause

  • you made me day…I’m glad I’m not the only one who does things like that.

  • Pingback: Crocs Winner! « Run DMT
  • So sorry about your nasty spill in your Crocs, but can I interest you in a new flat pair? That’s right, my dear! You’ve won a new pair of Crocs. So, hopefully some retail therapy will help you overcome this little embarrassing moment. 😉 Enjoy!

  • DeeDee – my dear,
    I may not comment often but I read faithfully because of stories like this. Honey, I fall on my face more often than I care to say and am just grateful not to be the only one. 😀
    You crack me up, AGAIN.
    Thanks,
    SJ

  • First time visitor and what a great post to start on! Our sense of humors are very similar…I’ll be a forever reader now 😉

  • Really, what are the odds that you’d blog about you croc induced face plant, and then WIN some???? God is SO funny!

  • I really wish you were my bestfriend and lived close enough for me to OBSERVE your falls (and YOU could see mine, which are dozeys)… I love nothing better than watching someone fall (good naturedly, of course), we score and name our falls in our family. No joke. “The Charleston Trip, The Big Fall”…
    Hey, without a sense of humor, what have we got? Oh, I know, a really ugly purse. (sorry, 😉
    You crack me up!

  • I saw those in Houston when I went shopping a few weeks ago. I even go so brave to try a pair on. And two words…LOVE THEM!!!! They were so comfortable and stylish and comfortable. I tried on a black pair but I like yours!

  • I just…
    I mean…
    Crocs???
    To a HOE DOWN??
    Crocs?
    I have no (more) words.

  • PS THIS POST is why we’re glad you’re still here 🙂

  • Well, I’m glad your finger and um pride will heal! Next time just kick your shoes off. I have a horrible habit of doing that at the worst possible times!

  • I’m sorry you took such a spill! I have those same shoes (in black) but have yet to wear them. I think they’re too loose (I have narrow feet). But they’re so cute! The ones I wear EVERY DAY are the Patricia wedge in silver and black. They are so comfortable!