So I’ve been wandering around for the last week with a gaping hole on my chest. Where a mole that strangely resembled a dead cow once resided.
My instructions were to keep the area clean, moistened with Vaseline, and then covered. My problem? The area around the gaping would was very tender, and the strong adhesive that Curad boasts of HURT VERY MUCH WHEN REMOVING THE BANDAGE. And pain? I am not a fan.
The only bandages I could find with a low adhesive were my daughter’s Dora The Explorer band aids. I just couldn’t see myself wearing Dora and her trusty sidekick Boots on my chest. Especially since the only shirt I owned which would cover the unsightly gaping hole was a hot pink turtleneck.
Have I mentioned that we live in Florida?
In all honesty, I can’t see myself sporting a hot pink turtle neck even if it were snowing. In Florida. I keep it because I’m nostalgic. Nostalgic over a sassier time of my life.
My next option was to throw caution to the wind and go bandage free. Which I tried to do last Sunday at church. Fiddledaddy took one look at my glowing wound and said, “cover that.” The deal was sealed when I accidentally scratched the itch on my chest, and thought I was going to pass out from the pain.
I got myself a round cotton thingie that I use with my astringent, and I positioned it over the gaping hole. Then I got out some flesh-colored tape that’s suppose to be used with gauze, and I taped the cotton round to my chest. Hoping above all hopes that it was not noticeable.
I looked like the victim of a shooting.
I buttoned my shirt up as high as possible, only to have the cotton round stick out just enough to make it look like I stuffed my bra.
And then I wondered why no one could maintain eye contact with me.
The wound is healing nicely now. And I found out today that the biopsy came back BENIGN. As it turns out, the object of all my pain and suffering was simply an “age-related mole.”
Which just added insult to injury.
However, I am grateful beyond measure that it’s nothing. Thank you all so much for your care, concern, and commiserating with me over my chest mole.
That’s the second biopsy I’ve had to have done this year, and thankfully, I’m just fine.
BUT LISTEN, don’t forget to have those annual pap smears, mammograms, dermatology visits, and whatever other body parts that need to be checked checked!!! YOU HEAR???
The best defense is a good offense. Now I’m going to go try on a hot pink turtleneck.
Because I’m feeling sassy.