A Delicate Matter

My friend Lori just sent this to me.  Lori is far too much of a lady to actually post this story (of unknown origin) on her blog.

I, however, am not.

As I freely tackle issues of a sensitive nature with great abandon.  Since I lack self restraint and all.

Claude

A pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Claude, had a terrible motorcycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if
they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Claude must have experienced.

“Claude was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able
to piece together the crushed remnants of Claude’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Claude.

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, Claude is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if  anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, “I’m Claude.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

Have an awesome weekend, everyone!

deedeesig

April 18, 2009

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